Kamis, 14 Mei 2009

Game 7

Do you think that as a fan you have the ability to jinx your team?

I do. I’m a Boston Bruins fan and I am an idiot.

I’m that guy who thinks that I have some control over the outcome of sporting events. It sounds ridiculous and I’m trying to get over it but it’s been hard for me. I swear to you that outside of sports I am a reasonably normal.

Tonight, during the biggest game of the season for the Boston Bruins, I will be out to dinner. Normally I would be a complete trainwreck at the thought of missing any part of this game. BUT I am fine with it for 2 reasons:

1) I’m going to dinner with my girlfriend for her birthday. I have been looking forward to this night for a little while and it should be great. While I love my Bruins, only P.J. Axelsson has been with me longer than I’ve known my girlfriend and PJ and I aren’t that close. Things would be different if I were going to a cousin's wedding that I don't really like.

2) I can’t jinx the Bruins by missing a portion of the game because jinxes don’t exist.

You know what I found interesting about Claude Julien and Zdeno Chara’s comments to the press yesterday? They didn’t mention me. Seriously, not once did they mention that the key to Game 7 would be if I got up to use the men’s room during an icing or if I was even watching at all. And I’m not some ultra secret weapon that they don’t talk about or anything; I am of no consequence to the outcome of this game.

Not a news flash, right? But this is tough to get though my head considering that I’m a douche. My mother called me 2 days ago to make sure that I would behave myself during Game 7. She said that she was watching a bit of the Bruins Game 6 with my father and wondering if I was watching in the fetal position like I did when I was a kid. I’ve been an idiot my entire life.

Tonight all that shit changes. I know I won’t jinx the Bruins if I go out to a dinner and drinks. It’s not like I haven’t missed games before and − with the game starting at 8PM − I ‘m not even sure that I’ll be missing any part of this game. After dinner I may take my time getting in front of a tv. I may try out that shiny juicer I bought my girlfriend with a few berries or apples or we may decide to get naked. She’ll close her eyes and pretend I’m Brody Jenner and I’ll close my eyes and think about Cam Neely putting a slapshot past Darren Puppa. It’ll be great.

Afterwards I will get to the tv and watch the Bruins launch into a 2nd round matchup with the Penguins. If disaster strikes I'll take it like a man.

Either way whatever I do tonight won’t affect the outcome. Only a moron would think they could have some hand in the game.

Let’s go Bruins.

- Nemmy

Unless of course this whole post is some early shock and awe campaign designed to unjinx the future jinx of me missing some of the first period. Hiss.

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