Jumat, 30 April 2010

Comin' in Hot

Here's how my postseason man button award is shaping up pro forma for the Sharks 4-3victory last night:

1) Crosby - There is no question that he is the best player in the world right now. Ovy is ridiculous but Sid gets up for big games and guys rally with him. There's no argument right now.

2) Super Joe Pavelski - When your secondary scoring is ripping it up everyone wins. The Sharks are scary again.

3) Halak - Went after Moby Dick and brought tartar sauce. How strong is his man button? If he starts stealing games against Pitt he will soar up this ranking.

4) Recchi - 42 year old Rambo.

5) Boucher - Like Recchi a few years ago, Boucher was left for dead. Slayed Marty in round 1, putting up dirty numbers and if he has enough man button to storm past the Bruins he'll get his own statue in front of McGillin's.

- Nemmy

Kamis, 29 April 2010

What you missed last night because you were a Caps fan who couldn't stand to watch

Canadiens beat the Caps in game 7, 2-1: It was all Jaroslav Halak and his merry men of shot-blocking defenders. Hall Gil's long stick (not a euphemism) was in the in way all night. Ovechkin never had space, Mike Green was cottage cheese, and Marc-Andre Bergeron scored in 4 minutes of ice time.:

Second round starts up tonight. Here are my picks:

Wings over Sharks in 7
Hawks over Canucks in 6

Pens over Canadiens in 6
Bruins over Flyers in 7

Rabu, 28 April 2010

Game 7 Notes

There's really nothing like playoff hockey. Game 7s in particular are unmatched in sports.
If you are into power rankings here is how any Game 7 stacks up in awesomeness:

1) Game 7
2) Dennis "the Snake" Chalker
3) natural breasts
4) military flyovers
5) the time Matty Weindel hit Artem in the chest with a puck during practice from across the rink

But if you are reading this blog you already know this stuff.

Here's a few points that would be beaten to death over the course of 2 weeks if this game were the Super Bowl and hockey was shown on network television:

5 keys to success for Montreal:
1) Halak - I read somewhere that Halak is 8-0 when facing more than 45 shots. He needs to be great because he might see 60 tonight.
2) Salt - Montreal needs to play sticky D on Ovy and Backstrom. They need to keep pounding Green and the Caps D. And Lapierre needs to keep being a dick.
3) Cammalieri - Needs to be huge again. Gionta and Gomez need to come up big.
4) Crowd - I don't know how it happens but there's always a "way too large for how far away Montreal is" sized contingent of Canadiens fans in NHL arenas. A small group of Montreal fans can really suck the fun out of a loud, red building if things aren't going well for the Caps.
5) Crazy Habs fans - If they lose they riot and if they win they have gay sex. I just wanted to mention that.

5 keys to success for DC:
1) Offense - Ovy needs to keep ripping. Backstrom needs to keep ripping.
2) Traffic - Knuble and Laich need to own the top of Halak's crease.
3) Show up - Semin, Green and Fleischman need to contribute.
4) Defense - Poti is done so someone like Alzner or Morrisonn needs to step up and get a good soak
5) Heals - needs to tune into the game and ignore Rain Man on TBS like what happened during Game 6.

If Montreal wins they play Pittsburgh and Boston and Philly will face each other.
If DC wins they play Philly and Pittsburgh and Boston will face each other.

The other conference is set with San Jose facing Detroit while Vancouver and Chicago get a rematch

Even though I dislike the Montreal Canadiens I need to root for them. I'll be cheering with my brain and not my heart. I am a Bruins fan and the the Penguins look like world beaters again.

Also, since my live blogging of the Boston/Buffalo Game 6 was such a runaway success, I have decided to spend the Montreal/DC Game 7 at the Tavern with Bressler miles from a laptop. You're welcome.

Also the game tonight has no outcome on our Round 1 contest. Me and Bress tied for the win with 2 perfect series picks. Everyone else had just 1. Scotty owes us boilermakers. Wooo hoo.

Leave it all out there tonight.

- Nemmy

What you missed last night because you were Shane Doan

Well, I guess that kind of when expectantly

Goal of the game:

Selasa, 27 April 2010

What you missed last night while you ate a delicious burger late at night

Bruins and Hawks closed out their series. The Caps sucked and/or Halak was amazing.

Goal of the night:
Recchi is everything right now.

Senin, 26 April 2010

Bruins/Sabres Game 6 Live Blog

So I've never live blogged anything before. I've already had a misspelling on the tweet I sent out announcing this so we're already effed.

This is Game 6 but for all intents and purposes it's a Game 7 for Boston. If they can't win at home and let Buffalo with Vanek win in their barn and go back home on a streak they'll be golfing Thursday morning.

I have the NHL Center Ice feed for tonight as Versus is showing the Montreal/DC game. I have Jack Edwards and Brick and a Tony's plate from Eva's in front of me.

Reminder: No Savvy tonight. Cooke is still a cocksucker.

Vanek is in for the Sabres after missing the last 3 games with a "lower body injury". His ankle has more tape on it than Lex Steele so maybe they should just say "ankle injury" going forward.

Anthem time. Idiots in the mardi gras masks should still take off their hats.

Miller vs Rask has been the best showdown of the first round. It might have something to do with how bad both teams are offensively.

Claude versus Lindy sounds like in-fighting between 2 guys in a barbershop quartet.

Good pace to start the game. Tyler Ennis has turned into Mike Bossy in this series out of nowhere. He gets a decent scoring chance early on.

As soon as Vanek hits the ice the Bs take a cross checking penalty. Begin sits.

Patty Berg with a great read on the kill and tries a spin move 1 on 1. The German picks up the loose puck and rings the post. Crowd is going apeshit. What a start.

Bs kill is so aggressive. Hard to believe Paille was bad enough to get dumped to Boston earlier this season. He gives me a PJ Axelsson warm fuzzy on the PK.

So far we've picked up right where we left off at the end of Game 5. A couple of pig piles and people hanging off of Chara. Tonight will be fun.

BTW I spent whatever amount on the NHL Center Ice package and I can't see this game in HD. So weak.

I have no idea if I'm doing this live-blog correctly. We'll find out tomorrow I guess.

First commercial break and I'm sweating more than Shawn Thronton.

Satan gets into Myers's grill for a little. We used to call him the softest player in the league but now I'm not so sure. Myers is 8 ft tall that took some balls. Kessel would have ran away.

Bruins shooting from all angles. Love the desperation. This is Game 7 let's have a sense of urgency.

Satan with another body hit. Guys are fired up!

Bruins finally discovered that some of their better skating Dmen should be pinching when they can. Changes everything when they can keep pressure.

9:55 left and Kaleta just stuck Rask. Still 0-0 and my Tony's plate was gone 4 minutes ago.

Lucic highlights show him getting out of the corner and firing a shot on net. That's his game. His game is also throwing the puck blindly into bad spots. He needs to be more consistent.

Rask is shining. Bruins are sloppy and if Jack Edwards was watching me devour that Tony's plate he'd be screaming the preamble to the Constitution by now.

Almost want Wideman to take a penalty so the Bs can generate some offense.

Spoke too soon. Sabres get called for interference. PP time.

Johhny Boychuk (with the best name in all sports) with a one-time blast into Miller. This guys is making the Bs wish they didn't pay Ferrence all that money.

SICK SICK SICK redirect by Krejci!!! 1-0 good guys!!

Recchi basically scored off of David's blade. What a Savvy-esque setup. I'm shocked Boston scored first.

BTW Scotty and I just got back from a buddy's bachelor party weekend. He was listed earlier today with a "total body injury". 3 days 4 nights is too much for a sustained bachelor party.

And the group of guys we were with partied just like the Bruins played this season: at all times I was equally impressed, disgusted and amused by what I was seeing.

5 mins to go Bruins outshooting the Sabres 10-9. Make it 10-10 with lots of after-whistle salt.

Kaleta is such a cunt. He's driving me crazy.

Lindy Ruff has the pissed-off Dennis the Menace look down pat. Kaleta still a cunt.

Ice needs repairs.

If Kaleta was at this weekend's bachelor party he'd be the guy that ate out a stripper.

Lucic is being very measty on the Krejci line. Wheeler is involved too. Good strong pace with 2:04 left before I can put down this laptop that's burning a hole in my penis.

Sneaky good to see Nate Gerbe on the ice for Buffalo. That's a win for little guys like me.

Some end to end action with blasts from Myers and a chance by Sturm on the other end. 27.5 to go.

Tallinder knocks the puck over the glass for a delay call. Bruins will finish up the 1st up a man and start the meat of the PP with clean ice. Things are really going strong.

Great salt at the end of the first with Lucic and Montador in each others face. Looks like Lucic got a little too aggressive with dickhead Gaustad and took a minor.

I'm done here and I'm almost out of battery. This laptop sucks power and heats up my crotch to the point that we can freebase off my genitals.

1-0 Bruins with the Bs looking a little hungrier than the Sabres. Kathryn Tappen is wearing a smart blue blazer thing and I need to go to the bathroom. I'll keep some commenting up on Twitter (t2ma). Should I be happy that Pat Kaleta was just added to my fiance's hate fuck list? Not sure at this point.

Sorry for the typos. Enjoy the rest of the game.

- Nemmy

Weekend Wrap Up OR Can we please have some game 7s on Wednesday

Seriously, all the games friday were mostly disappointing. I'm glad series got extended, but there was nothing really of the high-light reel variety going on.

Saturday, though had some greatness:

First, there was the ridiculousness of the Hawks/Preds game:

Watch the whole replay. Why does Martin Erat make a blind pass to the slot. Why is there is only one Predator d-man in front for 2 hawks when the Preds have an extra man? That was gross

Later that night the Penguins had a "I don't care if Fleury is playing badly, we're gonna win" comeback.

and then to win the game Staal did his best Crosby impression and fed the puck to Dupuis who really quick-released a great shot:

Even later that night the Avalanche lost the game and series. I hope everyone now forgets the Dan Boyle own goal. Just look at this:

Coyotes/Wings are going to 7, unfortunately, the Kings are not.

What'd I miss?


Jumat, 23 April 2010

At least one game was good last night

Flyers, Hawks, and Sharks all shut-out their opponents and the Flyers won their series

Pitt should have done the same, but Matt Carkner did enough to extend the series.

Rabu, 21 April 2010

What you missed last night because you need to figure out what the hell is going on in LOST

Penguins beat the Senators, 7-4 (PIT leads series 3-1): Possible Conn Smythe candidate from this series: Sidney Crosby

Sharks beat the Avalanche, 2-1 in OT (Series tied 2-2): Possible Conn Smythe candidate from this series: Craig Anderson

Predators beat the Hawks, 4-1 (NSH leads series, 2-1)
: Possible Conn Smythe candidate from this series: Pekke Rinne

Flyers beat the Devils, 4-1 (PHI leads series 3-1)
: Possible Conn Smythe candidate from this series: Brian Boucher

Red Wings shut-out the Coyotes, 3-0 (Series tied 2-2): Possible Conn Smythe candidate from this series: Henrik Zetterberg

Goal of the night: Craig Adams again showing his backhand skills

Selasa, 20 April 2010

Stay off the trolly tracks...

- Nemmy

What you missed last night while preparing for Earth Day

Capitals beat the Canadiens, 5-1 (WAS leads series 2-1): Question resulting from this game: Will the Caps sweep the next 3 games and win the series and everyone will forget about Theodore and game 1?

Kings beat the Canucks, 5-3 (LAK lead series 2-1): Question resulting from this game: Will anyone on the Canucks step up and play like Mikaek Samuelsson?

Bruins beat the Sabres, 2-1 (BOS leads series 2-1): Question resulting from this game: Was the Boston crowd so awesome because everyone was so sauced up from Patriots Day?

Goal of the night: In a losing effort, Samuelsson still snipes.

Senin, 19 April 2010

Weekend Wrap Up OR When will we see some double OT?

Penguins are up 2 games to 1 over the Senators. Crosby's doing it all, as usual. Lets take a look at the shift that pretty much defines him as a player:

Ken Daneyko said some interesting about this - that Spezza should actually back of Sid a little, so that he can't get turned out so quickly.

Flyers are up 2 games to 1 over the Devils.

Parise did some magic Friday night

And then the Devils wasted a throwback Marty effort last night as Carcillo won the game in OT.

The Red Wings/Coyotes series has to be the fastest series. The yotes are up 2-1. I love this goal:

Capitals and the Canadiens had a wild one Saturday night as the Caps tied up the series 1-1.

Some people are saying that Gomez, by fighting, actually sparked the Caps. However, the Canadiens were already on their heels at this point, giving up 2 straight goals. I'm fine with Gomez trying to re-energize his team. He can't stop this Backstrom shot. No one can.

Bruins and Sabres are tied up at one game apiece. Same with the Predators and Hawks and the Canucks and Kings

The Sharks are being so spring shark-like:

Stay Tuned Sports Fans

An exciting last few nights in the hockey world no?

That Caps Canadiens Game - 1000

Even the LA - Canucks game got interesting.

And while that was going on, the Met Game went to 20 innings. Thank God they won because if they didn't....oh boy. That game just kept going. Bress and I were scrolling thru hockey and that game and everytime we turned on the Met game it seemed that they would lose and sure enough they avoided every possible scary situation. Even when Lopez came in for the Cardinals, yes the short-stop and we couldn't even touch him....I started losing a little confidence...well I never had it in the first place with the way the Mets have been playing but you know what I'm saying.

Anyway back to hockey and some thoughts.

Some of the old bearded boys of USA Hockey are hanging it up. Keith Tkachuk. I really loved that guy...don't completely understand why I did over the years...maybe it was some unconscious fantasy love I had for him...but I did really enjoy the Guerin, Modano, Tkachuk line in the olympics in Italy even though they didn't do much. Tkachuk always did the needful...excapt when he came to camp way over weight a few years back. He was just that type of cool player I always wanted to be. Strong, skilled and cool.

This goal when it went off his head and in...pretty much sums up his entire career.

And than there's Mikey Mo's story book ending to his last home game...I think it will be but I guess he could be back for one more. I'd leave on that note but regardless of the note...it's hard to hand up those tacks when it's all you know. Skating around in the Stars jerz up in Minnesota and the very last game of the season. Here's the Mo video if you missed his last home game. This isn't the 10 minute video I was looking for but it'll give you something up of the night.

This video will show Mikey scoring late in the game for the tie. Watch Steve Eminger please...as he advocates for a goal review as the Ducks nor the Stars were moving on into the playoffs...Mikey closes his career and Eminger instead of being honored to be on the ice for that...tries to stay full competition and idiot. Way to be Stevey.

I saw Doug Weight yesterday. The man still looks together even with a sling on him.

- Scotty

Kamis, 15 April 2010

What you missed last night OR Everyone relax, its just Game 1

Senators beat the Penguins, 5-4 (OTT leads series 1-0): How did this happen? Fleury was soft

Flyers beat the Devils, 2-1 (PHI leads series 1-0)
: How did this happen? Brian Boucher used a time machine to switch places with Brian Boucher from 2001

Avalanche beat the Sharks 2-1 (COL leads series 1-0): How did this happen? Its the Sharks, come on... like you're surprised

Coyotes beat the Red Wings, 3-2 (PHX leads series 1-0)
: How did this happned? Ilya Bryzgalov... Imagine if he didn't give up that softie to Holmstrom.

Goal of the night:
There was a lot of ugliness, which is per usual for the playoffs, but Craig Adams backhand was pure sweetness.

Selasa, 13 April 2010

First Round Contest

The dust has settled and it's time to make your playoff picks.

Scotty will buy the winner of the first round a boilermaker at the Tavern.
Person who picks the first round 100% correctly gets a picture of my Ovechkin bobblehead and a personal congratulatory call from Bress.
If anyone picks the first round 100% incorrectly you will have to jump in net for our next ball hockey game.

Pens in 5
Bruins in 7
Devils in 6
Caps in 6

Sharks in 6
Red Wings in 7
Kings in 7
Hawks in 7

Caps in 5
I want the Bruins, Nem but Buff is uber sneaks - Buff in 6
NJ in 6
Pitt in 6

Det in 6
Van in 4
Chi in 5
SJ in 7

Caps in 5
Devils in 7
Bruins in 7
Pens in 4

Sharks in 6
BHawks in 6
Canucks in 5
Coyotes in 7

Best of Luck!

- t2MA staff

Kamis, 08 April 2010

What you missed last night while you were preparing for the Master

Rangers beat the Leafs, 5-1: This was probably the Rangers best 60 minute effort of the entire season and definitely their best effort recently. When all 4 lines are rolling and Lundquist is in Sandman mode, they are a scary team.

Oilers beat the Avalanche in OT, 5-4: The Avs are most likley going to play the 1st seed in the play-offs. Will they just be happy to be there and pull a BJs and get swept.

Coyotes beat the Predators, 5-2
: I just hope the Coyotes avoid the Red Wings in the first round... speaking of the wings...

Red Wings beat the BJs, 4-3: Remember when people thought the Olympic break would be bad for the Wings?

Hawks beat the Blues, 6-5
: Its a win, but the Hawks were up 6-1. That type of defense and goaltending doesn't bode well for the play-offs.

Rabu, 07 April 2010

Lyndon Byers is still the mayor

One of my childhood heroes is fighting Butterbean in an MMA match on May 21.

Per Wiki:

Byers is scheduled to face Eric “Butterbean” Esch on May 21, 2010 at Moosin: God of Martial Arts. The superheavyweight bout won’t be on the pay-per-view and is only to raise money for charity. In remarks at the press conference, Byers said the money would go to the family of a slain Boston police officer.

What a beast.

- Nemmy

What you missed last night while you were booking your tee-times

After last night the western conference is set and the East has 4 teams fighting for 3 spots.

The Flames lost and the Avs won, so the surprising Avalanche are in. If the west standings stay the same here are the match ups:

SJ v Col - maybe the Sharks win a first round series
Chi v Det - sucks for the Hawks
Van v LA - Luongo has sucked lately and gave up 8 to LA a week ago
Pho v Nash - if no one watches a playoff series, does it still count?

The Rangers lost a must win last night and the Canadiens let the Islanders come back, so Montreal didn't clinch yet. And Philly won.

The Rangers/Flyers game on Friday will decide everything.

Selasa, 06 April 2010

What you missed last night because you were experiencing technical difficulties

Vs had problems during the Caps game and then because of some rules, I couldn't watch the blues game. Thanks.

I'm only recapping the Oilers game then.

Oilers beat the Wild, 4-1: Two teams, both eliminated from the play-offs and kind of playing like it. The Oilers scored some fancy goals based of nice passing or odd-man rushes. The Wild are disappointing again.

Traveler's Diarrhea

I'm back from vaca and I haven't had a solid shit in 4 days.

Before I left I predicted the Rangers would have a playoff spot and the Bruins would be golfing. Let's just say that I'm pleasantly surprised with the how the standings look right now. That's the best you get with this year's Bruins: you are just happy to be in the discussion.

And it's the same with last night's game against DC. I thought the Bruins had a great chance to get 2 points but they couldn't and I'm ok with losing in OT. My expectations have officially been tempered. Going sideways just might be enough to get into the final two spots in the East this season.

Before I get into it...What was with the camera work for Versus last night?? I literally cannot describe what was going on with the way that game was shot for tv.

Anyways Patty Bergeron's goal was nifty and I'm going ignore all the negative stuff about the game and highlight the bright spot.

First Dennis Wideman (I'm ignoring the fact that he took the high-sticking penalty in OT) spins away from a Mike Knuble check and looks to break out of the zone.

What drives me crazy about Dennis Wideman is how he tries to do a little too much with the puck. He has Lucic open and Patty Bergeron (being the mayor he is) is giving Wideman an out. Wideman instead looks up-ice to Recchi by headmanning the puck through a scary part of the ice. Maybe I'm just a pussy but c'mon.

Things work out and Lucic (flying up the wing) gets the puck with speed crossing the red line. I'm too lazy to look up who the Washington left D is but I would like to see him bust back into that circled position to keep Patty Berg in check. But it's all good as long as Nick Backstom stays with his center.

He doesn't. Lazy Left D busts it to get back into action but he is toast. Backstrom gives an uninterested attempt to get his stick in the lane and Joe Corvo (giving Lucic way too much space) has what Eddie O would call an "inactive stick". Lucic's pass is pretty and this all doesn't work if Patty Bergeron isn't busting the entire time. Nothing sexy about Patty Bergeron. He is Tim Ducaning his way into the Bruins Captain's chair.

Bergeron bears down on Jose Theodore and all of a sudden a dog is on the trampoline and time stands still.

Berg shrugs off a desperate hook and somehow slides the puck past Jose. Mark Recchi is so happy he doesn't know who to hug.

The best part about this clip is that Mike Green got the night off to rest. Had Green been on the ice Bergeron would have never gotten touched.

I never get tired of seeing this picture.

It was a nice moment until the Bruins cough it up in OT. I'll take the 1 point at this stage. I just wish I could produce a solid bowel movement.

- Nemmy

Senin, 05 April 2010

Weekend Wrap Up OR No matter what, little kids will get you sick

It was the 2nd to last weekend of the regular season. Teams are fighting for spots and therefore fights happen.

I bet Ian Laperierre hates the fact that he and Max have similar last names.

Its always a good weekend if Billy Black fights.

Last night Nik Backstrom made a sick save with his stick, but I can't find a video of it anywhere.

I can't remember anything else "high-light reel worthy"