Traveler's Diarrhea

I'm back from vaca and I haven't had a solid shit in 4 days.

Before I left I predicted the Rangers would have a playoff spot and the Bruins would be golfing. Let's just say that I'm pleasantly surprised with the how the standings look right now. That's the best you get with this year's Bruins: you are just happy to be in the discussion.

And it's the same with last night's game against DC. I thought the Bruins had a great chance to get 2 points but they couldn't and I'm ok with losing in OT. My expectations have officially been tempered. Going sideways just might be enough to get into the final two spots in the East this season.

Before I get into it...What was with the camera work for Versus last night?? I literally cannot describe what was going on with the way that game was shot for tv.

Anyways Patty Bergeron's goal was nifty and I'm going ignore all the negative stuff about the game and highlight the bright spot.



First Dennis Wideman (I'm ignoring the fact that he took the high-sticking penalty in OT) spins away from a Mike Knuble check and looks to break out of the zone.



What drives me crazy about Dennis Wideman is how he tries to do a little too much with the puck. He has Lucic open and Patty Bergeron (being the mayor he is) is giving Wideman an out. Wideman instead looks up-ice to Recchi by headmanning the puck through a scary part of the ice. Maybe I'm just a pussy but c'mon.



Things work out and Lucic (flying up the wing) gets the puck with speed crossing the red line. I'm too lazy to look up who the Washington left D is but I would like to see him bust back into that circled position to keep Patty Berg in check. But it's all good as long as Nick Backstom stays with his center.



He doesn't. Lazy Left D busts it to get back into action but he is toast. Backstrom gives an uninterested attempt to get his stick in the lane and Joe Corvo (giving Lucic way too much space) has what Eddie O would call an "inactive stick". Lucic's pass is pretty and this all doesn't work if Patty Bergeron isn't busting the entire time. Nothing sexy about Patty Bergeron. He is Tim Ducaning his way into the Bruins Captain's chair.

Bergeron bears down on Jose Theodore and all of a sudden a dog is on the trampoline and time stands still.





Berg shrugs off a desperate hook and somehow slides the puck past Jose. Mark Recchi is so happy he doesn't know who to hug.

The best part about this clip is that Mike Green got the night off to rest. Had Green been on the ice Bergeron would have never gotten touched.



I never get tired of seeing this picture.

It was a nice moment until the Bruins cough it up in OT. I'll take the 1 point at this stage. I just wish I could produce a solid bowel movement.

- Nemmy

Life's Unfair

So Patty Berg came back from Vancouver with a nicked-up groin

and Marc Savard got decked by Matt Cooke

and now Chara is sitting with a "lower body injury"

and don't forget to check out the clown that Marisa Miller is banging.



waah waah.

Quit your crying and get back to work. We've got 19 games left to secure a playoff spot and we need all hands on deck.



Let's roll.



- Nemmy

What you missed last night beacuse the warning of "drowsiness" on your Percocet label is legit

Bruins beat the Hurricanes, 4-2 (series ties 3-3): I read this somewhere already, but if you were a Bruin last night and wanted to score, you just had to have your stick on the ice. The passing was superb. Whether it was Bergergon fighting off a backchecker on the first goal or Lucic's great look or Krejci sweet touch pass or Bergeron (again) extracting DNA - the Bruins were playing some great hockey.

Ducks beat the Red Wings, 2-1 (series 3-3): I'm pissed that I slept through the end of this game. Nice little animosity to take into game 7. I still hope the the Red Wings win, just for the rivalry aspects of playing the Hawks.

What you missed last night while taking the best naps ever on LIRR

As always on Wednesdays, I'll pick one thing from each game you needed not to miss.

Ducks beat the Oilers, 5-3: MacT's bonehead move - Taking a page from Ron Wilson's book, MacT tried to get a late power play by getting Teemu Selanne's stick measured. Yea, it was legal. MacT's move put the Oilers down a man, when they were already down a goal. Maybe Wilson will hire him as an assistant in Toronto.

Canucks beat the Wild in OT, 2-1: Henrik's GWG - Daniel led the rush and went parrallel to the blue line to make the drop pass to his brother. It seemed like the other two Canucks were crashing the net, so its a good thing the shot got through. I don't know where it beat Backstrom, but it did and the Nucks won.

Canadiens win over the Hawks, 4-1: Kovalev's first goal - It was an egregious give away by the Hawks d-man, but there was no hesitation from Kovalev when he put the puck in far side on the tight angle.

Panthers beat the Senators, 5-2: Cory Stillman's backhand sauce - It led to the first Florida goal, so its important. Stillman was on what appeared to be a solo rush down the wing, but with great vision comes great responsibility and when he saw Nathan Horton cruising the slot alone, he knew he need to get him the puck. And thats when the little flick of wrists caused the puck to jump and then land flatly for Horton.

Bruins beat the Lightning 4-1: Bergeron's pass to Chara - I know its a set play, but to find that seem so quickly is impressive. Also, Chara has to time it well. I also like how Chara has to get into a squat position to celebrate with Patrice.

BJs beat the Predators, 2-1: Nash's power move - He didn't score, but he consistently beats the d-man and gets a shot on net. Every d-man in the league thinks he has the angle on Nash, but then that big left leg comes about and you are done.

Stars beat the Kings, 3-2: No reason to watch this game.

If you haven't...

Seen Alexander Semin's goal from his knees last night with no time left in the period please do so now.



Been a part of this internet ridiculousness please do so now. One of the sneakiest, greatest things I have ever seen in my life. Comedic timing and all. Please! These guys are about to move as a unit into a battle in a video game and the hilarity that ensues.


"What do you think Abdul? Can you give us a number crunch real quick?"
"Oh my god he just ran in!"

Taken Patty Bergeron's broad side shot deep into your head, please try.




Put Datsyuk, Crosby, Ovechkin, Phaneuf and Barbonus on a video game line...let it happen and don't fight it. In order to obtain my own made up player, Scotty Barbonus, whom I thought I had deleted, I had to give up Staal, Rafalski and a 1st round pick. Get some!

Seen this in your lifetime and have absolutely NOTHING on the horizon right now, I mean George Costanza had the paper he liked to read. You have to have nothing going on. Eeeery and funny with Dorn in it.



Part II


Yes I know. Never again. But I had to get it out of me. Happy Wednesday! And a happy Newmark/Ess Express Merger first game later against Goldman Sachs.

Barzell