Traveler's Diarrhea

I'm back from vaca and I haven't had a solid shit in 4 days.

Before I left I predicted the Rangers would have a playoff spot and the Bruins would be golfing. Let's just say that I'm pleasantly surprised with the how the standings look right now. That's the best you get with this year's Bruins: you are just happy to be in the discussion.

And it's the same with last night's game against DC. I thought the Bruins had a great chance to get 2 points but they couldn't and I'm ok with losing in OT. My expectations have officially been tempered. Going sideways just might be enough to get into the final two spots in the East this season.

Before I get into it...What was with the camera work for Versus last night?? I literally cannot describe what was going on with the way that game was shot for tv.

Anyways Patty Bergeron's goal was nifty and I'm going ignore all the negative stuff about the game and highlight the bright spot.



First Dennis Wideman (I'm ignoring the fact that he took the high-sticking penalty in OT) spins away from a Mike Knuble check and looks to break out of the zone.



What drives me crazy about Dennis Wideman is how he tries to do a little too much with the puck. He has Lucic open and Patty Bergeron (being the mayor he is) is giving Wideman an out. Wideman instead looks up-ice to Recchi by headmanning the puck through a scary part of the ice. Maybe I'm just a pussy but c'mon.



Things work out and Lucic (flying up the wing) gets the puck with speed crossing the red line. I'm too lazy to look up who the Washington left D is but I would like to see him bust back into that circled position to keep Patty Berg in check. But it's all good as long as Nick Backstom stays with his center.



He doesn't. Lazy Left D busts it to get back into action but he is toast. Backstrom gives an uninterested attempt to get his stick in the lane and Joe Corvo (giving Lucic way too much space) has what Eddie O would call an "inactive stick". Lucic's pass is pretty and this all doesn't work if Patty Bergeron isn't busting the entire time. Nothing sexy about Patty Bergeron. He is Tim Ducaning his way into the Bruins Captain's chair.

Bergeron bears down on Jose Theodore and all of a sudden a dog is on the trampoline and time stands still.





Berg shrugs off a desperate hook and somehow slides the puck past Jose. Mark Recchi is so happy he doesn't know who to hug.

The best part about this clip is that Mike Green got the night off to rest. Had Green been on the ice Bergeron would have never gotten touched.



I never get tired of seeing this picture.

It was a nice moment until the Bruins cough it up in OT. I'll take the 1 point at this stage. I just wish I could produce a solid bowel movement.

- Nemmy

What you missed last night because you stopped watching the Chicago/Calgary game after the first period

Blackhawks came back to beat the Flames in OT, 6-5: Seriously, you should have not stopped watching this game. I didn't start watching until the third, so I didn't know about the epic comeback until post game. The Flames racked up 5 goals in the first period and then slowly watched the lead slip away. All ten goals were scored in all different ways, odd man rushes, breakaways, rebounds, tips, good old fashion garbage goals, etc. I proclaimed the Flames to have the best D in the league, but if you can't hold a 5 goal lead, well, simply put you're not the best D.



Rangers win over the Maple Leafs, 7-2: Oh dear god, the Maple Leafs are bad. I would compare them to the Mighty Ducks (movie version), but the Ducks couldn't fight. I can't compare them to either the Thunder Bay Bombers or the Syracuse Bulldogs, because those teams were at least good enough to make the finals. Its a disaster in Toronto. I bet Phil Kessel can't wait to skate.





Oilers beat the Predators, 6-1: If you have Zach Stortini on your fantasy team, you are a happy fantasy owner today. However, I can't imagine anyone having him, unless the whole league is based on some sort of PIMs-to-ice time ratio. Anyway, the guy had 2 goals (one was on the PP) and a nice fight.



Penguins beat the Senators, 4-1: Pascal Leclaire isn't good. His pads are too good for his play. That upsets me.



Coyotes win over the Sharks in the shoot-out, 1-0: Do both goalies get credit for a shut-out?



Devils beat the Capitals in the shoot-out, 3-2: Alex Ovechkin is a sneaky good all-around player. Still everyone, myself included, expects and wants him to shoot everytime, but he can put a pass tape-to-tape as good as anyone. His cross-ice pass to Mike Knuble last night was faster than my slap shot and obviously more accurate. Great play, but I still want to see Ovy get 50 in 50, so as those Rangers fans say, "Shooooooooooooot."



Lightning beat the Panthers, 3-2: All the Lightning goals last night were the stereotypical goals you would expect from those players. Stamkos: in the high slot, one-timer on the PP. St. Louis: one-timer, bad angle, five hole. Malone: crashing the net.



Kings beat the Islanders, 2-1: Matt Moulson is a first line player. Who? Exactly.



Avalanche win over the Bruins, 4-3: Blake Wheelers mid-air tip was sweet. Not much else to say about this game.

Crib Notes - Washington Capitals

Washington Capitals
Finished First in the Southeast. Lost in the 2nd round of the playoffs to Pittsburgh in 7 games
Acquired all-time quarterback Mike Knuble via free agency
Acquired Brendan Morrison via free agency
Let Donald Brashear, Victor Kozlov and Sergei Federov go as UFAs
Resigned Boyd Gordon, Shaone Morissonn, Jeff Shultz, Milan Jurcina and Chris Bourque.
Shaone Morissonn broke my spell check

Questions going into 2009-2010:
Who's the day 1 starter: Semyon Varlamov or Jose Theodore?
Can Ovy score 70?
Is there enough secondary scoring on this team?
If Ovk throws up 130 points will the Caps need secondary scoring?
Can Mike Green top last season's totals?
Will Chris Clark play a full season?
Who is the SABR mathmetician who signed Michael Nylander to a $5.5MM/year contract?
Do the Canes have enough to outpace the Capitals?
Or are the Caps a lock to win the division again?

Poised for a breakout season:
Nicklas Backstrom has already broke through but if all goes right for this team he will flirt with 100 points.

If you had to buy one Caps sweater:
Our buddy wears a white Brooks Laich because he claims Laich's game "speaks to him".

Player whose game you need to like:
I've posted about my love of Mike Knuble before.

Reason to get behind this team:
There may not be a ceiling to Ovechkin's game.

Reason to hate this team:
Green's website.
Either that pic is in the insert for the latest Crazy Town record or a photo from Mike

Random thought:
Fergie's body is sick but your buddies would still goof on you if you took her home.

Old guys:
Mike Knuble is 37
Michael Nylander is 36
Brendan Morrison is 34

Young guys:
Karl Alzner is 20
Backstrom is 21
Ovy and Mike Green are 23

Tough guys:
Brashear is gone so John Erskine will look to handle the thug load.

Favorite old school Capital:
Alan May or Mike Liut

Reason why I am writing this so late:
I have a men's league game tonight and I am going to the beach tomorrow and I don't want to break my streak of doing 30 teams in 30 (business) days.

Goaltending coach:
Arturs Irbe
Our Head Political Correspondent and Washington, DC Bureau Chief, confirmed that Irbe wears his goalie skates when going through drills in camp.

Nostalgia:
How hasn't this team retired Peter Bondra's uni yet?

Interesting?:
The last time we went down to a game in DC our buddy got thrown out for passing out while riding down an escalator on his back.

NHL 94 players:
Peter Bondra, Dimitri Khristich and Mike Ridley up front.
Al Iafrate and Kevin Hatcher on D with Don Beaupre in net.
Rod Langway was rated a 44. A bigger injustice this blogger knows not.

YouTube:
Bondra was just plain nasty. He sneaky dominated the 1990's


- Nemmy

Post Merica weekend and into the summer swelter

Can someone tell me what a welter weight is?

There has been some crazy movement since the draft, my goodness!

2/3rds of the egg line will be back in play up in Montreal. Gomer and Gionta and I assume that at the start Cammaleri would be a good fit until proven wrong because he is quick and so is Gomer and Gio. This line could be sneaky spicy this season. Knuble to DC...grab him next season...he WILL be playing with OVY and Backstrom. 1000! on that line as well. Hossa - 12 years! Jeez. They lost Havlat but picked up Hoss. More positive than negative but not THAT much more positive. Injury prone Havlat so maybe HUGE positive in that respects.

The Rangers grabbing Gaborik is sick for them. Obviously the injury prone disaster that he is...but what if he isn't for 3 seasons...HIGHLY unlikely but what if he averages high 60 low 70 game seasons. He is a one man show and he gives the Rangers something that they haven't had in a long time. A one man goal scoring I don't need a center crazy person. Believe me it will help if he has a center but 100% does NOT need one to get 40 on the board this year. Huge pick up for them.
Pronger PIMS to dirty gritty Philly. With him back there the Islanders aren't even gonna come close to beating them this season. All jokes aside, thats a big move for them...they gave up a decent amount for him but I think that it works more than it doesn't. Look for the coming of the Power "I" Mike Richards at the coming of the fourth light with Gandolf the White, Philly will be stark and staunch as usual.

J Black Bouwmeest moving to the northwest. Going to be a different type of landscape for him but I think he will fit in just fine. That powerplay point with Bowmeest and Phaneuf is goign to be very cement like...very intimidating and very Olympic starting D-pair-like for Canadia.

Ryan Smyth to the Kings - pulled pork sandwich without the pork - whatever.

Havlat to the wild - he's probably never gonna play there anyway so whatever again.

Keva Rosenberg from Robocop - an unemployed person depciting the dregs and poverty in Detroit of the future from RoboCop - amazing. Amazing before this morning when it became 10,000 when Weinbrom found out that it was Eddie Van Halen playing this role. Can anyone speculate as to how he got this bit-part. Did he say yes to some producer wasted at an afterparty or something. Best part of July so far.



And this quick one line scene at the end of the movie with Cop and the CEO of the company just gives me the chills...I don't know why. The music fades in...the leg holster...his walk out.

And off RoboCop until maybe Friday and onto this past Thursday night out on the island. Me and my boyz (non-2man affiliates) but very much in the nuclear family headed to this new bar/club/sheaky spot nearing black out points throughout the evening. Chateau Briand, a nice place. We get there and no joke there is at least 150-200 people waiting outside the doors. It's a complete joke until Aaron leads us in thru the side where we walk in, without being ID'd and stopped or questioned. Right up to the main bar and into 1000. Before we approached the main bar Jeff Tambellini looks up and spots me and I the same. A nice embrace of familiarity and onto some drinks. After some chat about his summer plans and me trying to convince him to buy a house (Why, I don't know) Oh I know the shot girl in the short white skirt that was killing us all night long! Weinbrom asked Jeff what he thought of Tavares and such and he seemed very serious about his potential. High hopes and aspirations and long and strong into this upsetting Monday back from a long lengthy awesome weekend. So think of Keva Rosenberg and getting Tan. Think of a glass of Jack and a chicken qusadilla. Think of Thursday and Friday night. They will be here soon. I went to court this morning to get points off a ticket and need someone to guide me from here becuase I'm lost.

- Barbonite

Mike Knuble

Mike Knuble is the man. Ask me what the first words that come to mind when you mention his name. My answer: Solid American, Reliable, Always in position. As a Bruins fans I watched Mr. Knuble develop into a steady right winger and was bummed when he signed with Philly. I broke the news that he signed with DC to my buddy and Philly fan, Matthew. The news stung. Knuble is the man, he's never out of position, every team should have a guy like this.

Matthew and I spent a good part of the afternoon trading emails about the man. We wondered if he was always in such great position off the ice as well. I picture Mike at a bar in close proximity to both the john and bartender. He's got the spot where girls have to walk by him when going to the bathroom but is still far enough away where when they run back into Mike they aren't still thinking about the color of their pee. You are the guy getting bumped into by barbacks and reaching over 4 frat guys to pick up your Bud Light Lime. Nice drink, guy.

Mike Knuble is the guy that after pulling into his driveway takes 30 seconds to stand at the foot of the crease of his kid's ball hockey net. If he were painted in The Last Supper he would be to the right of Jesus in front of a plate of chicken wings and the biggest bottle of wine. The only think about him out of position is the consonants in his last name.

Mike Knuble: Solid American, Reliable, Always in position.

Best of luck in DC.

- Nemmy