Rabu, 26 Mei 2010

Philly in 6

When coming up with a prediction too often people use some dopey formula to support their call. You've seen it everywhere, we've done in the past and it's still dopey. Saying "well the goalies are even but Team X's PP is better than Team Y's and I'd give the coaching edge to Team Y so..." is muddy math and excuse to make a shitty blog post.

Of course saying "Philly in 6" without any explanation is lazy.

So fuck you I'm lazy.

I'm hoping for 7 games all ending in multiple OTs. I want snipes, salt, dry rub, Motorhead and few acrobatics. I want to see multiple occasions where a team grinds an in-zone cycle through 2+ line changes. I want to see Leighton get tied up with Buff in front and have to kick out an open opportunity in desperation. I want to catch Pronger getting away with 14 counts of battery with malicious intent. I want to see Kane get popped so that his mullet is exposed. I want to see Niemi jump to trap a puck on his shoulder and get undercut by a sliding Hartnell. I want Pierre to get on the mic and blurt out "this is the best fucking game I've ever seen and I'm going to drink a beer and let the crowd watch". I want people to stop bringing up that the Flyers made it to the show on a shootout win as if it diminishes the enormity of their success. I want urgency, lockdown defense and fast-paced violence. Above all, I want to assault every dork in the New york Times Weekend commercials.

Here's the schedule of events:
Game 1 @ CHI
Sat, May 29 8:00pm EDT

Game 2 @ CHI
Mon, May 31 8:00pm EDT

Game 3 @ PHI
Wed, Jun 2 8:00pm EDT

Game 4 @ PHI
Fri, Jun 4 8:00pm EDT

Game 5 @ CHI
Sun, Jun 6 8:00pm EDT

Game 6 @ PHI
Wed, Jun 9 8:00pm EDT

Game 7 @ CHI
Fri, Jun 11 8:00pm EDT


- Nemmy

Jumat, 21 Mei 2010

Montreal 5, Philly 1

Montreal won at home and finally beat Leighton. Thankfully, no one was killed in the post game celebration.

Tom Pyatt and Dominic Moore each had a goal and assist. I can never remember those guys' first names.

The 2Man is very excited to have day games this weekend and Pearl Jam at MSG tonight. Although the day games put a wrench in our plans to play Tony ball we will make it up by licking Kathryn Bigelow's furry post-menopausal face. Things are starting to make sense again.

Here's a quick primer on how to kick down a door:

1) Make sure you are wearing something cool. Whoever is inside the room needs to see you looking sweet right before you rush in.

2) Pick a door that can be kicked open. Don't mess around with metal doors or anything too thick.

3) Stand sideways with your power leg closest to the door. Give a side kick to the area right under the door knob. If you are super badass face the door and muay thai jab kick the door into 1,000 pieces.

4)Say something really sweet like "Morgan Freeman says sup" or something better right after you boot the door and rush into the room.

- Nemmy

Kamis, 20 Mei 2010


So last night Scotty and I went bowling with long-time 2Man reader Big Poopy. The place starts playing a Fergie song and Poop took me to task because I made some disparaging remarks about her in a blog post.

Here's what I wrote:

Random thought:
Fergie's body is sick but your buddies would still goof on you if you took her home.

Let me say this to each and every one of our 4 readers: I was completely wrong. I am a huge fan of Fergie. I like her body, face, the way she gets all urban in videos and pretty much celebrate the woman's entire catalog. There is no way I would ever goof on a buddy for taking that down. That was a terrible thing to say. I was 1000% wrong and I apologize.

I applaud Big Poopy for throwing the flag and encourage our 3 other readers to call me out if I write something ridiculous. Even shitty hockey blogs should operate with accountability.

Now onto tonight's games:

Scotty still thinks that Montreal is alive. While they haven't lost at home yet I would say they are in deep trouble. They haven't scored, Halak is blinking like his Mario star power is expiring and the last Ville Leino goal made me want to puke in my poutine. Now I would rather get fingerbanged by a gypsy than see the Canadiens win this series but with all that has gone down this season I don't think you can count any team out.

Except San Jose. Dropping 2 at home was the last thing they needed. Some people (Scotty) think that San Jose can turn it back on and run Niemi out of town. I am not one of those people. While they are great players I cannot get comfortable with the idea that Thornton and Marleau will power this team back from an 0-2 start.

This is great:

- Nemmy

Rabu, 19 Mei 2010


Here's something I tweeted a week ago just as I felt the rug coming out from under me:

"Being fan of the Bruins can be fun as long as you know you'll eventually get crushed. It's like having sex with Oprah. - t2ma"

Called it!

Here's an earlier tweet that really sums up the Bruins season:

"Turnovers and letting in goals with less than a minute to play: 2
signs of bad pee-wee hockey. Be better. - t2ma"

Even though the Bruins fought past the Sabres and got up on Philly I sneaky knew that the bs turnovers and tendencies like allowing goals late in periods would catch up to them. Those are signs of a rudderless operation and it's not that much of a shock that they ended up making history.

But even watching this team all season and knowing that the emperor was nude I still thought the Bruins would tie it late in the game and force OT. You know why? Because I'm an ASSHOLE. I never learn. I root for teams that don't give a shit yet it crushes me when they don't give a shit. And I'm such an asshole that I'll do the same thing next season. I'm actually looking forward to watching this team turn Taylor or Tyler into a men's league player. I can't wait until I convince myself that a Ryder or Wheeler or Wideman will snap into it and start killing shit. I can't wait until I'm crying into my beer wondering why some of Recchi's man button can't rub off on one of the other forwards.

Normally when I complain about the Bruins Bressler snaps me back into reality with his Islanders talk. So I'm done complaining.

Congrats to the Flyers who have a 2-0 choke hold on the Canadiens and look as strong as ever. Wasn't it a month ago that there were reports that the dressing room was a mess and didn't they fire their coach this year and don't they have an 8th string goalie who hasn't been scored on in 57 periods and wasn't Simon Gagne injured? I'm not sure what is going on. All I know is that the Flyers are strong, balanced and there is no situation where they are out of the fight. That's scary and I hope they smoke the Hawks in the Cup final.

I'm going to see Pearl Jam this Friday with Flyer fan, Mr. W. on Friday. We wouldn't speak to each other during the series so I'm hoping he lets me cry on his shoulder.

- Nemmy

Senin, 17 Mei 2010

Weekend Wrap Up or I would rather have one game every day than 2 games on one day

The weekend started with the epic failure of the Bruins and ended with the epic onslaught of the Flyers.

In between Big Buff got the game winner for the Hawks:

Looks to me like Nabakov was a little slow getting over and reading the one-timer

I wonder if Peter Lavoilette is the best time-out caller in the league?

Kamis, 13 Mei 2010

What you missed last night because you watched the other game

The Canadiens beat the Pens 5-2, move onto the ECF

Can someone remind the Canadiens that they are the 16th seed and shouldn't be chopping down trees like this? Halak is awesome but the Habs' success isn't all him. Gionta and Cammalleri are playing inspired hockey and that ragtag group of defensemen got it done vs Crosby and Co.

Montreal was up 2-0 by the end of the first and I thought Twitter was going to explode. When Montreal went up 4-0 you could practically hear restaurants on Ste. Catherine street boarding up windows. How does Travis Moen skate past Serge Gonchar for that shorty? What is this world coming to? Credit to the Pens for getting back to 4-2 after Fleury was yanked but they never had their car in this one. Someone pointed out that Montreal won the first and final games at the Igloo. Last one out hit the lights.

Long summer for Crosby & Malkin who wont get passes for falling down in the 2nd round. Can anyone explain what happened to Fleury? It can't be all about Scuderi and Gill. Nothing is ever about Hal Gill.

Philly beats Boston 2-1, forces Game 7

Let me tell you something about the Flyers: they get it. When facing elimination and with a backup's backup in net they blocked everything put toward the net, outskated and outworked the Bruins and dictated the pace. The Bruins needed to step on some throats but instead gave up pucks, played uninspired hockey and only showed a sense of urgency in the 3rd period.

Mike Richards is no longer trying to kill guys at the expense of goals. He's picking his spots and the team is rallying around him. The first goal was all about his line having bigger balls than the Bruins. Briere's goal was another second effort type goal where he just had too much man button for the Boston D. I can't really fault Tuukka on the shot.

Lucic brought the Bruins to within 1 with 1:00 left in the game. Leighton struggled with the puck at times and Wideman's knuckle curve gave him rebound trouble.

I've gotten multiple calls and texts from friends checking up on me. My favorite was my buddy telling me that if I haven't jumped out the window yet he has a place for me to sleep in Beantown on Friday. Thank you. I'm good, everyone.

You can't think of it as the Flyers streaking toward Game 7 or Boston stumbling to the first tee. This is a new series now. Tortorella says that momentum doesn't carry over in playoff games. I believe it. The slate is wiped clean in Game 7 and nothing else matters. Scored a sick goal in Game 1? So what. Had 45 saves in Game 3? Whatever. Game 7 is the playoff's playoff. Game 1 heroics don't get you pussy if you bow in Game 7.

It comes down to Friday night. The bully has now backed you into a corner. There is no getting around him. Your 2 options are to lie down or power through. Either way someone is hitting the floor. Don't let it be you.

- Nemmy

Selasa, 11 Mei 2010


Try to forget that the Bruins just got crushed at home on Bobby Orr's statue day by a team that lost it's tender to injury.

Think about this:
If before the series I told you the Bruins would be up 3-2 heading into Philly to close out in Game 6 would you have taken it?

- Nemmy

Jumat, 07 Mei 2010

Ian Laperriere

When I watched the replay of Ian Laperriere taking a puck off his face in Game 5 of the first round against NJ I laughed a little. Here was a guy getting ripped right in the face by a puck and he gets up to his feet and tried to make it to the bench. Did he not realize that he just got a slapshot to the eye? If that shot hit any other NHLer his teammates would look like Jackie O picking pieces of skull off the back of a convertible. Ian Laperriere would be playing in the series but when checking for a concussion apparently the medical staff found some brain bruising. Brain bruising. He was willing to play through brain bruising. What an animal.

Boston is up 3-0 in the series with Philly. Barring a historic comeback it looks as though they will advance. If the Flyers still had Laperriere in their lineup there's no way the series is 3-0.

What an animal.

- Nemmy

A tale of 2 foreign (as in non-NA) goalies

Evgeni Nabakov sucked or Franzen just muled it up. I don't think this is a turning point in the series yet. If the Wings win tomorrow, thats the turning point - on the road, still about to be eliminated. Then just 1 game away from forcing a 7th.

The Canadiens are resilient and probably just a lot smarter than everyone assumes. In 2 rounds they have bottled up the best scorer in the league and the best player. Don't know how. Hal Gill must have kept a notebook when he was with the Pens. Also, that crowd in Montreal is just awesome.

Heres the goal of the night. I love wrap arounds:

Kamis, 06 Mei 2010

What you missed last night while you were rocking out with some Swedes

The Bruins are up 3-0 in their series. Good for them.

The Hawks finally remembered that play-offs need intensity and freaking dustin byfuglien had a hat trick.

Watch the video to the end to see the celebration of the night:

Rabu, 05 Mei 2010

Last night in or around Canada...

Fleury was Halak and Malkin was Malkin.

Thornton was alive and Rafalski, I think, misplayed the final 2-on-1:

What happened to taking away the pass?

I hope the Wings rip off 4 straight.

Selasa, 04 Mei 2010


3 Sneaky things

1) The mom from the Sienna commercials

2) Alex Elder
In the postseason: 8GP, 1G, 2A +8 playing big minutes

3) Johnny Boychuk
In the postseason: 8GP, 2G, 3A, +1 playing big minutes

- Nemmy

What you missed last night while you were trying to escape on a flight to Dubai

The Bruins took a commanding 2-0 lead in their series in a nutty game. Not sure how I would feel if I was a flyers fan and Carcillo is the most talked about player in a game

The Blackhawks remembered it was the play-offs and won and tied their series.

Goal of the night:

Senin, 03 Mei 2010


The dejected Buffalo Sabres fan in the above picture is 2Man reader Brando. Brando's Sabres were demolished by the Boston Bruins so he had to pose in front of one the creepy wooden statues that are all over Buffalo.

Brando holds a Bruins rally towel and is wearing Cam Neely underwear. The Cam Neely underwear wasn't part of the bet but no man in the 18-35 range who's worth a shit doesn't own a few pairs. Brando cheers for a losing team but he made good on the bet so good on him. We're just surprised there's no snow on that lawn.

Bruins got lucky in game 1. Game 2 is tonight. Hang onto your ass.

- Nemmy

Weekend Wrap Up OR if the wind blows over the goalie, who gets the interference penalty

The Sharks are up 2-0 in their series against the Wings. I did not see this coming. And it can all be blamed on the one piece stick:

Here is an apt description of the Penguins power play Friday night: Touch pass, pass, touch pass, one-timer, goal.


Not so much yesterday though, when Halak was 1st round Halak and Cammallarie does this:

I think he's the only guy in the league who can hit the puck above his shoulders, but its still below the cross bar.

Chicago didn't show up and got spanked.

And welcome back Savy!:

Great celebration!

-What did I miss?