Kamis, 27 Agustus 2009

The Jason Arnott Story

We've never met or filmed anything with Jason Arnott but the man has had a tremendous impact on the 2Man crew.

Here's your opportunity to close out of this window before I launch into a pointless story that you may have had to been there to appreciate. I think Scotty has already told this story. Sorry.

So were all in college playing in the ACHA club hockey championship tourney in Maryland. We drew an opening round game vs. the U of Maryland, a team that we knew nothing about. We were pretty nervous and the locker room was kind of tense and quiet. I was trying to keep things loose by goofing around a little but I could tell that the guys weren't having it.

Our coach wasn't big on the pregame speeches. The most he ever said was a few words about his college days or something to go over line changes. Coach took the first round of this championship tourney as his opportunity to really explore the space with the inspirational messages. He passed out sheets of paper with quotes from famous athletes. I don't remember all of them but one in particular was from Michael Jordan. Coach had us go around the room and read aloud from the paper and then he would speak about the quotes. It was unreal. Here I was minutes away from the national tourney in my senior year and I'm reading quotes off of a sheet of paper.

Coach was well intentioned but this just wasn't working for us. No one was openly shitting on the quote sheet because I think everyone was too nervous to react. Coach's speech was making the locker room more tense and for a team as loose as we were all season long this was a total disaster. I kept thinking that we were minutes away from opening against the hosting team and this speech was draining the room. We were used to going out and curb-stomping teams after having dance contests and other bullshit in the locker room. This quote sheet schtick was totally foreign to us. We needed something to snap us out of our quote-induced zombie state. That something came from Junior defenseman, Scotty.

Scotty was (and still is) known to be a strange dude. One of his many quirks is that he always has to be wet. I woke up on an airplane next to him one time and his head was dripping wet like he stuck it out the window mid flight. Another time he got in trouble in DC because he felt it necessary to go for a dip in the WWII Memorial.

Anyways Scotty leaves in the middle of the speech for the bathroom to soak his head before it was helmet time. While he was gone I remember that all the guys had their heads down listening (or trying not to listen) to coach ramble about the opportunity we had in front of us. Scotty comes out of the bathroom sopping wet sits down and screams out, "Jason Arnott!". The whole room burst into laughter. For some reason Scotty was getting himself fired up and let a Jason Arnott slip out. It was the spark that we needed to pull us out of our nervous funk. We went out and won the first period 1-0 and rolled to a 6-3 win against the home team.

Happy Thursday

- Nemmy

Rabu, 26 Agustus 2009

RIP Ted Kennedy

- Nemmy


Randy McKay was drafted by the Wings in the 6th Round - 113th overall - in 1985. Not the greatest collection of NHL talent but the '85 draft did provide some memorable names: Wendel Clark #1 overall, Joe Nieuwendyk #27, Benoit Hogue (whom Scotty fought in a men's league game) #35, and a strong list of tough guys including Stu Grimson, Kelly Buchberger, Dave Manson, Ken Baumgartner, Shane Churla, and Jamie Huscroft. The Islanders selected Brad Dalgarno and Derek King with the #6 and #13 picks, respectively. Mister irrelevant ended up being relevant: Paul Maurice, head coach of the Canes.

He played his AAA years with Lac St. Louis, a club that I still have nightmares about playing against.

Randy won 2 Cups with New Jersey in 1995 and 2000. Randy liked to sport the handlebar mustache and chops in lieu of a full blown playoff beard.

Played RW on the Devils "Crash Line" with Mike Peluso and Bobby Holik. Can we get back to naming lines again? Remember the "Grumpy Old Men" line for Dallas?

He was a grinding, physical bear of a player. He was really strong on his feet and hit and fought anyone. Some of the best Rangers/Devils battles were sprinkled with McKay scrapping with blueshirts. He fought in a dirty boxing style with lots of clutching and grabbing and took shots to get in close.

In 91-92 McKay had 29 fighting majors. 29 fighting majors! All while playing a regular shift and potting 17 goals with 16 assists. The guys he fought that season read like a who's who of 90's tough guys. Here are some select names: Mike Peluso, Link Gaetz, Gino Odjick, Louie DeBrusk, Ken Baumgartner, Mick Vukota, Marty McSoreley, Enrico Ciccone, and Ronnie Stern.

When he spoke it sounded like listening to some pretty boy with an Eddie Vedder starter kit trying to sound "affected". But Randy's raspy, Cobra Commander-like voice came from getting hit in the throat during play. I recall him revealing that during a TV interview when I was a kid and can't reference that so don't hold me to it.

Scotty Gomez referred to him as "Smacky" when he mentioned McKay as one of the Devils that had the biggest influence on his career. It was right after he told us that Jay Pandolfo is in such good shape that he could probably climb right up the side of the general post office on 34th street.

He was traded to Dallas in 2001-02 with Jason Arnott and a pick or something for Joe Nieuwendyk and Jamie Langenbrunner.

He retired after the 2002-03 season as Montreal Canadian, the team he grew up idolizing.

Randy McKay - gritty, badass, 1000%.

- Nemmy

Selasa, 25 Agustus 2009

Welcome Back Otter

In case you all were wondering where I've been, well look at the above photo and make your own assumptions. Thank you Nemy for handling what little readers we have with some solid consistency on the posts. As I write this I am listening to Quick Man from Mega man 2...excellent song...not quite as good as Bubble Mans level but of equal power. Here's the link if you feel you must stay on par with me while reading the remainder of post. You may have to loop it a few times but go ahead...no shame in that.

So I was on a cruise that left out of Brooklyn headed down to Bermuda with no flying required to Miami or anything which was great. As we left, my buddy Green and I were at the back of the ship enjoying a margarita when two young hockey boys from the city/queens recognized me as Scotty from the 2man. Good things. So I was at least C level celeb on the boat. I was upgraded to B level status when the drink guy saw my last name on the chit and asked in front of Amber if I was related to Ryan Zimmerman, the 3B for the Washington Nationals. I blushed in weirdness and than Amber said, "He's a little shy but yes we like to keep a low profile!" Upgrade!

My quam today is not with Raymond Kalleetra - the bad guy from Gone in 50 Seconds but with Jim Balsillie. Co-Ceo of Rimm (BlackBerry), co-owner of the Predators and 1000 in Canada. Billionaire...does triathalons and is a soccer mom and stuff. Dude...seriously...stop questioning Melnyk's integrity...you sound like a joke. You got paper..you got a hockey team...you got a major tech company...you got it all...go home and stop. Go home or I will make you next time the 2man runs through the north.

- Scotty's back

Poor Pavol Demitra

Check out the Demitra lookalike get dominated by some spirited Euros

- Nemmy

Senin, 24 Agustus 2009

Monday's Weekend Wrap-Up

Dany Healty is still publicly whining

This Jose Theodore news will ruin your day

The Coyotes are still trying to get ready for the season

It's August and we are struggling. Hopefully Lucic KOs someone at the Team Canada Camp later this week and we can get something to talk about. Until then answer me this:

Where does Cindy Walsh (Carol Potter) from 90210 rank as far as realistic tv MILFs?

How about Marilu Henner in Evening Shade?

How about the thigh master lady on Step by Step?

Florida Evans from Good Times? Yes/no?

- Nemmy

Jumat, 21 Agustus 2009

Friday - We've (Barely) Made It

So ESPN is reporting that Dany Heatley will hold a press conference today to speak out on his "situation" with the Senators. His "situation" is that he has requested a trade after one year of his 6-year extension with Ottawa. The Senators are having trouble trading him (Heatley is owed $7.5MM next season!) and he shitcanned a deal with the Oilers who were a willing trade partner. Word on the street is that he is upset with the new head coach. wah wah

I have a hard time sympathizing with a player who comes out to the media with reports that he wants to get traded. That makes the player look like a total baby and usually napalms the team's chances of getting good value in return. Not sure what his press conference will be about but I'm interested in hearing his side of the story.

Here's a clip to get the bad Heatley taste out of your mouth. Nothing says 2PM train down to the Jersey Shore like Pete Sidorkiewicz. Enjoy the weekend.

"The calm before the storm, baby"

- Nemmy

Rabu, 19 Agustus 2009

My Hands Stink

Our summer squad had an 8:30PM game last night. I've taken 3 showers since the game ended. I'm typing this post at work right now and my hands still smell like my gloves.

In college I used a combination of Lava soap and old fashioned shaving cream to try to get the stank off of my hands. After scraping off a layer of my epidermis I was left with hands that still stunk like I spent the night working with the local taxidermist. As I type this I can smell the funk coming off the keypad.

My gloves are not new, they once were worn by Louie DeBrusk. I've written about them in the past. I might try to contact Mr. DeBrusk to find out what he did to get the stank off his hands. I spent the last few minutes looking up products on the internet to combat the glove stink. Does anyone have a secret for getting rid of this smell?
- Nemmy

Selasa, 18 Agustus 2009

Sharking in Vancouver


Read this article and then hit the gym immediately. If you're not ready for 50 sets of closed-grip pullups after reading this article then you are a soulless individual - much like Michael Vick.

The best part:

New Leafs defenceman Mike Komisarek was looking forward to becoming acquainted with his potential Olympic teammates. Off-ice plans for the week include a trip to a Chicago White Sox game, a players' dinner and daily contact with members of the U.S. Navy Seals who were involved in fighting in Afghanistan. ''A lot of us play against each other and to come to camp and build some camaraderie, build some trust, get to know each other off the ice, '' he said. ''That will help us tremendously in Vancouver.''

Dude, daily contact with U.S. Navy SEALS. Yzerman better hope his boys have their heads up.

Thanks to Mr. W with the tip.

- Nemmy

Senin, 17 Agustus 2009

Bad People

Here are the top 5 bad people for the week:

1) Guys who say things are "epic":
I overheard three guys talk about a buddy of theirs in Martha's Vineyard. Everything was "epic". Tanner banged the girl he met at the beach - EPIC. Tanner passed out on the beach and had to be driven home by the cops - EPIC. Tanner showed up to the bar wearing the same exact outfit as his buddy - DOUBLE EPIC. The whole douchebag weekend was EPIC, Brah! Seriously, unless you are retelling scenes from the fucking ODYSSEY let's try to leave the word "epic" alone.

2) The guy in my locker room who wears head-to-toe UnderArmor:
This guy is easily the worst hockey player on the planet. Thankfully he let us all know how the refs screwed him as he peeled off 14 layers of sweaty spandex. I really need to either stay in my apt or come to the games homemade.

3) The guys who ring the opening bell at the NASDAQ:
The only semi-amusing part of watching CNBC all day is when a group of clowns stand in front of a giant screen and open trading for the NASDAQ. Ringing the bell and sending the trading pit into action at the NYSE is a tradition. Standing in front of a television screen and clapping is dopey.

4) People who talk about how much better Mexican food and sushi is on the West Coast:
I know someone originally from San Francisco who loves to talk about how she eats sushi every day when she goes back home. She'll say "You have no idea how much better the sushi is on the West Coast. I almost feel bad for people in NYC because of the sushi that you guys have to eat". Apparently where she eats sushi in San Fran the chef walks out of the ocean with a net, wipes the ass of a crab and rolls it in rice on her plate. She tells me about the "amazing" sushi at every opportunity. I had no idea what I was missing by living here. I very briefly had a relationship with a girl who grew up in Denver and swore that the Mexican food in NYC was terrible compared to Denver. Why did she think this? Because Denver is closer to Mexico, silly! She said this seriously. Hearing her going on and on about how we don't have real guacamole (or real Mexicans) on the East Coast was not worth the flaky handjob she gave me after the Giants won the Super Bowl.

5) Anyone in the NHL without a mustache
Tell me your first order of business after making a big league roster wouldn't be growing a mustache.

Close 6)
Guys like me who blog about this shit. I should be assaulted.


We're Back

Sorry for disappearing. The last few weeks have been tough for the greater 2man family. Long story and one that I can't really explore in the blog space. Just know that we're back to posting and hanging tough through the NYC humidity.

I just read that Vinny Prospal signed with the Rangers, the same team that brought Mark Messier back to be a "special assistant". That's it, that's your news. Fantastic.

Does anyone want to send us updates from the Olympic training camps? Does anyone want to wager on who the first Olympic training camp injury will be? I'll take Marty, there's no way that guy is in any shape right now. Does anyone want to comment on the fact that I went 5/5 last week with roast beef/melted mozz and brown gravy on rolls?

We have to clear some cobwebs from the 2Man studio right now. Bear with us while we get back into full blog form. Until then enjoy some sick passes in this clip from Rock 'Em Sock 'Em 15. If you are a Jason Arnott fan make room in your work slacks for a future erection.

- Nemmy

Rabu, 05 Agustus 2009

JR - another legend gone

You know you could find a 1000 different videos of JR both on and off the ice but I think these two will sum him up and his career more than amply.

Great music on both of these videos.

It's sad to see such a personality and American hockey star leave the nhl. A member of the 500 goal club...a man of integrity...a man of talent...a man of good old 80s grit and determination.

I don't know what happened because I wasn't there to verify but why is Alex Burrows hitting a 19 year old goaltender in the face in a summer mens league game. Alex just watch these videos and maybe you can get to half of what JR was about.

One of my athletic role models of all time. A personality I am similar too. A player I always tried to emulate. Thanks for the memories Jeremy. Wish you the best in life after hockey.


- The 2man

Selasa, 04 Agustus 2009


Harry Connick Jr. and Super Joe?

If you had any interest in Seinfeld...this video was made well. Real creative. Despite the incident, the amount of physical comedy I took in from Michael Richards is unfathomable.

It's Tiger Tuesday so don't hesitate at all.

- Zelli

Senin, 03 Agustus 2009

Weekend spillover

You know how in some video games, as you progress throughout the game, you can unlock teams...like in MLB you can unlock the Polo Grounds and an Old Athletic's jersey as you complete tasks like hitting 1.000 with a player in a game or getting two homers or pitching a shutout. I will unlock some things for you 2man readers that occurred this weekend.

Nemy left my house around 11am and headed back to NYC to take care of some passport related things and than proceeded to the East Village Tavern where my girlfriend Amber has been working a few shifts a week for some extra cash. He sat down and had one Dogfish Ale. I believe it is the Dogfish but if it isn't, it is the same composition and color but the one he was drinking is almost 15% alcohol by volume so 18,000. One dogfish turned into almost 10 Amber said. WOW! By the way if I'm not with you, don't ever have that many Dogs...just not street smart. Massive unruly bowl movements at the bar turned into explosive vomit and a few phone calls that really communicated 10 Dog imbibement to me over the phone. He was calling me and I was having a peaceful dinner with my mom and brother.

The song is great but the reason it's here is 4minutes to 4:30...watch. Note the reference. Emilio? Take that D! You know what he really means.

Than I received a phone call not but a few hours later from Camille. He was out shotgunning beers down in Philly with Riley Cote and Jeff the assailiant Carter. Imagine drinking with scary freaky Riley Cote? Jeff Carter, yes...a peaceful but uplifiting partier as I've seen him in his party environment. Cote? I hope Matty is ok. The last message I got from him was that he just shotgunned a beer with Cote. Great little unlocking stories for you.

Turn me on...turn me on!

- Ak 27

Weekend In Review

Scotty's parent's live out on LI and have a heated pool. Since his folks were away Scotty and I got a few 18 racks and looked to go swimming on Friday night in the country. It rained all night so we settled for beer pingus and some chicken rolls.

We paired up against his two local pals and we were getting smoked early on. It was just like Tiger's front 9 at the Buick. After we shake off the cobwebs from some train beers and some other spooky stuff we come roaring back. It was just like Tiger's weekend at the Buick. John Senden melted from the lava and Scotty and I rattled off 2 in a row (after losing the first 6!) by 5 cups lengths. By this time we were both unconscious and speaking in a language that twins teach each other. The other side gets winded and decides to bag it. Scott showed why he had the home court advantage and took over. Matt Bettencourt and YE Yang can't bang with Tiger at his tourney.

Anyways the point of my story is that in the same basement as the pingus table Scotty has a tiled room with two floor hockey nets. See, Scotty has a little brother who is just growing pubes so he's got an assortment of sticks and pucks and fun. To walk from the stairs to the table you have to pass the area where he keeps the nets up. Let me tell you this: It is impossible to walk by that area without firing some pucks down range. I spent the better part of the night playing floor hockey and imagining that I'm Scott Neidermayer sneaking in from the point for a one-timer. So much fun.

We followed up with a men's league win last night with a borrowed goalie. All good things.

Who gets moved first: Kessel or Heatley?

When is the last time you saw a caterpillar?

- Nemmy