Senin, 30 November 2009

Rabu, 25 November 2009

Happy Thanksgiving


We love Thanksgiving. It is a day to get together with your family and friends and show appreciation for what you have. The most American of any holiday, Thanksgiving is a chance to share a meal and show gratitude regardless of race or religion.

Last Thanksgiving it felt like the world was collapsing, this year is much different. We aren't out of the woods yet but at least now we see a light at the end of the tunnel. That's one reason to be thankful - we always have hope that tomorrow can be better than today.

In hockey terms think about this: it wasn't long ago that the Penguins were broke and moving to Kansas City. Now they have a couple superstars, another Cup and a new arena coming next season. What can happen with the Coyotes? No matter how bad things get there's always next year.

We are thankful for so many things but in particular the folks who stopped by to check out the site - we hope we entertained you. Especially those readers who are overseas away from their families - we are forever thankful for your sacrifice. Bytheway, when we mention the folks overseas we are talking about our friends in the armed forces not 2Man producer Bress who is at a gay retreat in South America.

Enjoy a meal, your family and the football games. Tonight the Jackets play Ottawa and LA is in Vancouver but we hope you take the day off on Friday to relax with some awesome afternoon NHL games.

It's been a trying year and you deserve some sick highlights.

Thank you.

- The 2Man

Morning question



Which NHLer does my potato n egg most closely resemble?

I see former Whaler, Ranger, etc. Nick Kyrpeos.



Yes? No?

- Nemmy

Only 1 game last night...

...and I missed it because I has couple drinks and fell asleep on my floor.

Anyways

Check out this goal from Antione Vermette. Nash calls for the puck behind the net then does his very best Jagr impression and uses his frame to keep the D off him as he walks out in front. Vermette (after passing to Nash) gets to the doorstep and receives a behind-the-back pass and buries it. Is this a set play?



That was really it. We have an official half day in the 2Man offices as the staff gets ready for Thanksgiving festivities. It's early yet but it looks like Scotty and I will be the only ones making into work here. Our interns all went boozing last night and our secretary is out on maternity leave. Since I doubt anyone in America sitting behind a computer will actually be working we will try to fill the blog with some mindless hockey stuff to keep people occupied. Tonight we have 14 games on and Hossa returns to action. I think Scotty is trolling the internet for ridiculous youtubes of fat kittens as we speak. Stay tuned.

- Nemmy

Selasa, 24 November 2009

What you missed last night

Predators over the Red wings 3-1
Erat gets some space and rips


Isles over Leafs 4-3 in OT (Roloson with 7000 saves)
Jeff "the Truth" Tambellini rips high glove.


Rangers over Jackets 7-4
Jared Boll with a goal and 2 fights.


Bruins beat the Blues 4-2
Savard's first game back. Lucic continues to dominate.


Avalanche over Flyers 5-4
Flyers claw back to make it close. Jeff Carter with 2.

The Oil over the Coyotes 4-0.
Jeff Drouin-Deslauriers with the SO.

Ducks beats the Flames 3-2 in the shootout.
We love Iginla. He starts the rush then finishes the play to send the game to OT. Jokinen's pass wasn't meant for him! What a captain.


Stars over the Hurricanes 2-0
Morrow sets the tone early!


Senators beat the Caps 4-3 in OT
Fisher keeps tearing it up.


Penguins over the Panthers 3-2 in OT
The new Florida 3rd unis. Sick!





- Nemmy

Sabtu, 21 November 2009

Sex on a Saturday






So I was typing in the fantasy search bar for Mike Smith so I began to type Smith and it auto filled in Tyson Sexsmith. Am I really looking for Tyson Sexsmith computer? Who the hell is Tyson sexsmith? What the hell is going on?

A goalie for the Worcester Sharks of the AHL. Why is he in the fantasy database if he's never played an NHL game? Help me help you guys over there.



While I was down in L's cove down here in Massapequa Park I discovered some old bad-ass at the heart of it all pics of the 2man crew.

Nemy with a bad ass spray on Bartemis our direcTOR.
Sancho Barbonite in his most bad-ass form taking a draw, in a sic old school pen's jerz with Abe Lincoln Artemis in the background ready to pounce like Chahhhhhhllleeey .... Notice the cool make upped scar on my eye brow The All-time classic 2man logo...me beating around Nemy with beautiful blond highlights. And a pic of Gio the Cardinal during War-times.


- Barbacoa


Jumat, 20 November 2009

Friday Afternoon Domination


Rick Tocchet - 1992-93, Pittsburgh Penguins

Regular season: 80 games played, 48 goals, 61 assists, 109 points, 252 PIM
Playoffs: 12 games played, 7 goals, 6 assists, 13 points, 24 PIM.

Domination. Have a great weekend.

- Nemmy

What you missed last night because you had money on the Dolphin game

Scotty and I don't know how to write a haiku so we need to do something different this week. Instead of the regular recaps we're going to give a quick and appropriate response if by chance a coworker comes up to your desk talk about the game.

Q: Did you see the Canes came back to beat the Leafs 6-5 in the shootout?
A: Holy shit what a game! By the time Tim Gleason scored his 2nd of the night I was already on my 4th diaper.

Side note: Lee Stempniak's goal was everything that's good in this world.



Q: Did you see that Boston held off Atlanta 4-3 last night?
A: It was good to see Ryder get it going and Bergeron's SO move shook Scotty off his bar stool.



Q: How about Nashville beating Jersey 3-2 in the shootout?
A: That game was basically Parise vs. Arnott. Why can't we get any Nashville games in HD?

Side note: Scotty, how about the fact that Erat got the winner? Martin Erat.

Q: Did you see the beating Pittsburgh took? They lost to Ottawa last night 6-2.
A: Rough 3rd period for the Pens but how about Chris Neil? He is officially the 2009 beastmaster. Who else stands in there like that??????



Q: How about St. Louis beating the Coyotes in OT?
A: Tkachuk's goal was scary. When he goes to net like that it's like standing in traffic at the Port Authority. Johnson's OT winner was very Brian Leetch. Very Brian Leetch.



Q: Did you see the BJs beatup on the Stars 4-1?
A: Turco was terrible last night but didn't get much help. Huselius with a shorty and a PPG - HEAVY BIKE.

Q: Chicago whooped the Flames 7-1. Blowout in Calgary huh?
A: Last night we were talking about how Jokinen needs to pick up the scoring pace. He had a PPG last night. Let's see who else gets into a shouting match in Calgary.

Q: I heard the Ducks won 4-3 in OT vs. Tampa Bay.
A: For the Ducks to make up for their shit goaltending they need games like this where Getzlaf, Ryan, Selanne and Niedemayer all contribute. Stamkos is the real deal. Sophomore heavy bike.

- Nemmy

Kamis, 19 November 2009

2 Things

Brad May scored last night by the way. I can't even believe....I can't BELIEVE they did not call that a goal. Now obviously I'm a little salty because I started Howard last night in one league but looking through the lens of truth at what happened it was totally a goal. May throws a whimmy back-hand at the net in case you missed it...in live play you didn't see anything and than the whistle blows and one of the wings throws his hands up. We watch the replay several times with the announcers with sound so you could clearly see the puck in the net..1..2..3..4..5 secs pass and than the whistle blows. The ref initially says no goal so you need evidence to overturn which if it went up to Toronto there would be. The ref wants to continue play and TORONTO not the ref TORONTO which I have never seen actually calls for it to go up-stairs for review. They wave it off. What the hell did you want another look for than. It went in...five seconds later the whistle blows. I'm missing the point totally I guess.

Secondly...James Van Riemsdyk is 16 million right now. Lets look at his game-log as of late because he has done something that in fantasy I have NEVER ever seen adn you probably won't see for a very long time.

First off, 6 goals, 11 assists in 15 games. Yes! American born...6'3" 205lbs. From Old Bridge, New Jersey...scored my first ever away travel goal against that team...the Old Bridge Wings. Making a case for an olympic spot. He'll most likely have to wait four years but 1000.

3 games without a point in his rookie campaign. But most impressive...truly unbelievable is in the last 5 games, he has 4 goals...ALL of which are the GWG. Carrying fantasy teams right now...just carrying them. 2 out of the 4 games were big wins so it was by chance obviously however the last 2 games were 3-2 wins...yes!!!! I like Philly...i really do...I did last year...they need to just validate me and make it far this year. Ton of upside on that squad. Carter, Richards, Gagne, Briere, Hartnell, Pronger, Coburn, Van Riemsdyk, Giroux, Emery, Boucher backing up. Good stuff there.



I don't know why I find this funny but this is me and Nemmy in our minds all day everyday...yours truly at the 2man.


- Claude Giroux

What you missed last night because you were napping before your 11:30 mens league game

I'm having a potato & egg sandwich the size of Robert Lang's head right now.

Florida over Buffalo 6-2
I think Ryan Miller is a beast but last night it looked like he was melting alive. He made a bonehead move that lead to Weiss's goal and then Buffalo hung him out for the next few. He's the man and maybe he holds the key to the US medalling this winter but because he had a bad night I'm going to put that sissy looking shot of him focusing pre-game.


Terrible

Dallas over Detroit 3-1
How many fantasy owners had Jimmy Howard and Alex Auld starting? Zetterberg's goal was nice with Hank flying down the right side with one hand on his stick using his left to shield the puck then a sick roof. Brad May continues to beat Dallas Drake at his own game and fought Krys Barch and got a goal taken away in the 3rd. Cue up another round of whistle/non-whistle/intent to whistle debate.

Phoenix over Minnesota 3-2
I couldn't pay attention to these highlights because I was amazed how jam packed the Xcel Energy center was for a game against the Coyotes. Impressive.

Edmonton over Colorado 6-2
I thought Colorado got back to winning ways last night but then they go into Edmonton and get smoked in a sloppy affair. Hemsky with one of the tougher empty net goals of recent memory.

Philly over LA 3-2
I read somewhere that ARod has a painting of himself as a centaur in his apartment. Today I see the NY Post with Jeter and his RIDICULOUS girlfriend in St. Barts. The Phillies own the Mets and the Flyers can't lose even with Boucher in net. Everything sucks right now. I would give up a finger to have Utley or Richards on my teams.

- Nemmy

Rabu, 18 November 2009

It's Wednesday Afternoon...




...take it easy.

- Nemmy

Vociferous on a Wednesday

Nemy sent me this but it has to be on the blog....what a celebration. This is right up there when NYU played Columbia our freshmen year and Todd jumped on the boards, skates on top of the railing that separates the boards from the glass to celebrate his hat trick. At least this goal was nasty enough to merit a celebration finish like this one.



This is Nest the day before he left on his South American vacation. He is attending a place near Antarctica so he came over to borrow some of my skii wear. Ess looks like a Japanese ninja...all you see is his eyes...its like the Geico dollar stack went ninja on us!


Here is an awesome glossy finished hockey card of the power I, Miguel Richards in shorthanded goal format written on the top. Sick! Nemy got this in a pack of Opee-chee hockey cards he bought wasted with me at Models on Saturday. Bruno and Arnott were also in that deck. Juice!


A summation of great celebrations


When and if it gets cold enough people!

What you missed last night because you were leaving for BA

Bress sent an email last night that he was "leaving for BA". I have no idea what that means but Scotty and I have the keys to the blog for a few days. We don't blame you if you stop reading until after Thanksgiving.

Ottawa over TO 3-2
These two teams beat the hell out of each other. Chris Neil was a wrecking ball as usual. Luke Schenn gets respect for stepping up to try to stop Neil from running over the entire city. Mike Fisher had the first goal, the last goal and got to stare at his star girlfriend's bleached cornhole all night. Watch Colton Orr dominate Matt Carkner in this clip.



Montreal over Carolina 3-2 in a shootout
Brandon Sutter gets the game puck. I need to find the highlight of him giving the outlet pass to Whitney then going hard to the net with his stick down. This is why the 2Man needs a highlight show. Scotty and I would spend 22 minutes replaying this goal and going off. Eventually we would tire ourselves out and get McDonald's. Maybe it's best that we don't have a highlight show.
Maxim Lapierre went bar and in to win the shootout. Matt Cullen shook Carey Price out of his skates at the end but couldn't bury it.

Nashville beat San Jose 4-3
I watched garbage highlights of this game on the Nashville website. The only thing of note is when Jumbo scored to make it 4-2 Nashville he didn't celebrate at all. Thornton isn't a fiery guy by any measure but come on. If Jumbo rips a shot and grabs his teammates maybe he riles his squad up and jolts them back in the game. Maybe?

Colorado over Calgary 3-2
Colorado needed to right the ship and they went into Calgary and crashed and banged for a win. Anytime Cody Mac scores if needs to be mentioned - he runs shit. I'm trying to find highlights of Iginla's goal but here it is: Iginla gets room because he's a beast, finds an open space, gets a pass and one-times a rocket for his 12th of the year. It's the same goal you've seen from Hull, Shanny, Neely, Kovy, Ovechkin you name it. Can't play those guys tight because you'll get bullied, can't give them space because they rip from anywhere. Pure power.

Rene Bourque had a shorty and 9 PIM for a nice little fantasy night.

Washington over NYR 4-2
My buddy Brian got me a ticket to this game last minute so he gets a special mention here. Gabby was great. Ovy had his signature PP goal. Thornton needs to do 5% of Ovy's post-goal celebration to make a bigger impact on San Jose. The Sharks are running shit and Jumbo is having a strong start but a little fire can carry that team farther into the playoffs. I dunno. After Ovy scored he did his thing and eventually went down the bench hifiving his teammates. Brian, who coaches a mite house team, was surprised that Ovy celebrates the way his kids do. Matt Bradley got cut open by 2Man favorite, Aaron Voros and scored the GWG - Strong. What isn't strong was the riceball that I ate at some shit Sbarro on 7th avenue. Green with 2 PP assists and Gabby with 2 tallies with one on the PP. Strength.

- Nemmy

Senin, 16 November 2009

Weekend Wrap Up OR Do kids these days know what a trapper-keeper is?

I've been MIA on this and some recaps the past few weeks. Truth is, I'm actually getting crushed at work. I never experienced that before, so give me some time to recalibrate. Also, I'm going on my first non-hockey-related since 2004 tomorrow, so the recalibration won't actually start until after Thanksgiving.

Onto the games...

Tavares' first goal Friday night is sneakier more impressive than you'd like admit.



Its the veteran savvy to wait for the puck to come down below the crossbar and then the sweet hand-eye coordination to actually pull it off.

And then there was this move:



Ok, its not a move, but impressive that Nash composed himself to finish. And the reverse motorcycle kick might have stunned Giguere.


So maybe Giggy was embarrassed, but not as much as Luke Schenn was here:





So, that was all on Friday.

Saturday, had the game of the weekend - Bruins v Penguins



Crosby going to the net opens up the passing lane and Guerin beats Thomas.


2 players had hat-tricks Saturday night - Zetterberg and Sedin (I don't know which one). None of the 6 goals were really "highlight worthy"

There were a few games yesterday - the best goal came from Maxim.

Its a great pass and a tough finish.




So, what'd I miss?

-Bress

Jumat, 13 November 2009

Happy Friday



I'm just going to see where this one takes me.

I know many people are against the shootout to determine regular season winners. BUT if you spent money to go watch the Boston Bruins and Florida Panthers battle to a 0-0tie at the end of regulation I think you deserve to see a little show at the end. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy defensive battles and scoring chances and goalie duels. But to think that some parent spent $200+ bucks to take their kids to an ice hockey game without Savvy and Black Booth and didn't see one tally makes the shootout okay with me.

So my boss and I were partners in a company-sponsored beer pong tourney for all the credit trading guys. Everyone else was in suits and ties at Down the Hatch - yeah. Negative 1,000. Anyways since they made us partner up and sign up we thought there would be a structure and brackets and maybe a trophy. Wrong! We might as well have been drinking in Somalia. So my boss and I dominate and lose one game to 2 guys who didn't use the whole pitcher to fill their cups. I'm still salty about it. Here's my point/question:

We were down 2 cups to 1 at our final game and my boss and I go back to back hitting the final 2 cups. Now the team across from us had one cup to hit and they took their turn and one hit the final cup thinking they forced OT. Shouldn't we have gotten something for hitting back to back on the final 2 cups? I thought we should have gone again because we brought it back and if we hit a cup it would have been a walk off. It really doesn't matter because we were ossified and looking to go home. Don't get me started on people leaning over the table. If your tie is in your beer you need to step back. Why are you still wearing a tie????

Chris Neil has 60 PIM already. With some luck he'll go 250+ this season. That's why I have him on my fantasy roster. Look at his steak head. He wants to fight your mother. Every roster needs a PIM machine like Neil. You know what the difference between you and Chris Neil is? If Neil was in your seat he'd have a casein/whey mix in in that file cabinet. He wouldn't be excited for the premiere of Lopez Tonight and he wouldn't be wasting his day reading shitty hockey blogs.

I just got this email from my fiance:

"i just remembered that i really liked this song in high school. do you still want to marry me?"


Yikes

Scotty told me that the rumor floating around is that Kovy, Ovy, Gonchar, Malkin, etc. are all taking their time with injuries because they are saving themselves for Vancouver 2010. I'm sure there's nothing to it but the fact that team Russia may be up to shady ish makes this rumor awesome.

I was going to make a big deal that 2Man buddy, Vinny Bruiser picked up Jeff "the Truth" Tambellini in our fantasy league because the truth is a 2Man favorite. Vinny dropped him 4 hours after picking him up.

Who will be the first NHLer with a leaked sex tape?

92.3 used to be an awesome station in the New York area. They used to play rock music and have Howard Stern in the morning. Now it's top 40 no guitar Long Island girls with platform sandals BarNone bouncers and guys with gel drinking Corona shit. I'm at the gym from 8-9:30 a few days a week and some guy named Chunky on "92.3 Now" plays the same shit over and over. I'm sure Chunky is a good guy but every time I hear the Black Eyed Peas and Britney Spears back to back I want to break my face open.

So this kid DuckDude8 has a ton of videos on youtube where he's scoring on some goalie that is probably his little brother. The video is short and there's not much going on but I love how the goalie gets beat and stays on the ground the whole time.



Look at our current goalie options for Vancouver:
Ryan Miller leading in Save % and GAA. Timmy Thomas is tied for the lead in shutouts and Craig Anderson is tied for the lead in wins. Anderson is making everyone forget about John Quick.

Can someone explain that bear pong issue to me?

- Nemmy

Kamis, 12 November 2009

What you missed last night because all the game were pretty much on at the same time

Sabres beat the Oilers, 3-1:
Plus - Ryan Miller
Minus - Why can't Ryan Miller get the shut-out?

Capitals beat the Islanders in the shoot-out, 5-4:
Plus - Semin's rip of a wrister 8 seconds in
Plus - Trent Hunters bar-and-in slap shot to tie the game
Minus - That was the most boring extended shoot-out I've ever seen.

Red Wings roll over the BJs 9-1
:
Minus - Steve Mason in the first period
Minus - Putting Steve Mason back in the game
Minus - Bressler for making "Steve Mason is the new Andrew Raycroft" jokes
Plus - Todd Bertuzzi scoring like Holmstrom

Hawks beat the Sharks in the shoot-out, 3-2:
Plus - Craig Anderson still getting it done
Minus - Does Colorado have a back up?
Plus/Minus - All the goals for Chicago were high-short-side snipes

Kings beat the Hurricanes, 5-2:
Plus - Manny Legace's white helmet
Minus - Manny Legace's goaltending

Devils win over the Ducks, 3-1:
Plus - David Clarkson's goal

Rabu, 11 November 2009

What you missed last night while you were cleaning your kitchen

It's Wednesday, so its time for mid-week Monsters!

Flames shut-out the Canadiens, 1-0: Dion Phaneuf - It would be easy to put down Kipper or Iggy as the Monster for this game, but Dion really did it all (besides score). He hit, ask Kopecky or Pacioretty. He put tons of shots on net. Great game Dion. Some good fights in this game, but I still don't understand the tackle after a big clean hit. Just wait a bit and then go get the guy.

Senators beat the Oilers in the shoot-out, 4-3: Alexie Kovalev - His game can be summed up in the shift in which he assistes on Cheechoo's goal (finally). I can't ever remember Kovalev forechecking, let alone hitting a d-man, then stealing the puck and feed the slot-crashing Cheechoo. There were other spots of briliance for Kovalev, but that stood out. And he scored in the shoot-out.

Wild win over the Leafs, 5-2: Nik Backstrom - Yea, he had plenty of offensive support, but the Leafs were kind of swarming last night and Backstrom made big and impressive and timely saves.

Blues roll over the Canucks, 6-1: David Perron - kid had a hat trick, enough said.

Bruins shut-out the Penguins, 3-0: Tim Thomas - guy had the shut-out. He can really thank his post as well. There was some sort of weird carrom off the glass that somehow defied the laws of physics after hitting the post.

Sharks beat the Predators, 4-3: Dan Boyle - He got the game winner on a ridiculous rush capped off with a rocket of a shot that went bar and in.

Selasa, 10 November 2009

What you missed last night because you were sitting behind Scott Steven's huge head at the HOF inductions

Great speech from Brett Hull (my favorite player of all time)





Anyway, there was only one game last night:


Hawks beat the Kings, 4-1
: It was kind of a slow game until the third. Troy Brouwer's power play goal was something that only a professional hockey team would plan to do and then execute. Patrick Sharp is on the hash marks with the puck and Troy Brouwer is set up in front with this stick to the outside of the net. Sharp, half sauces/half wristers the puck to the near side of the net, but wide, where only Brouwers sick tip puts it in the net. If Brouwer misses the puck, it goes wide harmlessly. There is no other play Sharp could be trying to make. It wasn't a shot on goal or even really a pass. WOW

Speaking of wow, heres a video sent by Canadien lover Frido (watch till the end):



Its in practice - but still impressive

Team USA vs Team Canada


Leonard and his thoughts on the capital markets:

During the Kings Hawks game last night me and Bress started going over the possible line combinations for both of these squads......interesting to say the least.

For the Americans...

Line 1
Kane Stastny Ryan

Line 2
Parise Gomer Gionta

Line 3
Cammalleri Kesler Kessel

Line 4
Brown Drury Langenbrunner

D 1
Suter Rafalski

D2
Komisarek Liles

D3
Wisniewski Martin

G - Miller - Thomas - Quick (Bress suggested Craig Anderson? If he keeps it up I guess so right?)

It's a solid squad and there are many other guys that could round the squad out at cut list time to make the best possible team Canada tree chopping menace around.

Team Canada

Line 1
Nash Crosby Iginla

Line 2
Getzlaf Thornton Heatley

Line 3
Lecavalier Staal Perry/Marleau

Line 4
Morrow Richards Doan (Maybe Jeff Carter is in there somewhere)

D1
Bouwmeester Phaneuf

D2
Pronger Green

D3
Weber (Keith, Reghyr, Doughty, Burns, Niedermayer)

G - Fleury - Brodeur - Luongo

Wow! Wow!


Congratulations to Nemy for getting engaged by the way....the next few pics should describe the whole thing in synopsis.

Liz Miller - our old college manager with an Assault Rifle


You tell me right now...looking at me in the face that the big league chew cover character was not modeled after the Body's role as Blain from Predator.

It's not Nemy but right?

- Barbone

I wish you the best...forever and always kid.

Jumat, 06 November 2009

Friday Question - What the hell is going on with the Boston Bruins offense?

What does the 2Man Executive Committee have to say about Boston's offensive struggles?

Luke Richardson


"I think having Savard out with a broken foot screws up everything. Lucic isn't there to fish out pucks and get dirty in the crease and Savvy isn't there to set up the powerplay. Also I walked by the Yankees parade today. The last time I saw that many Hispanics in Yankees caps it was an unemployment line."

Max Cavalera


"We toured Boston with Soulfly when little Igor and Zyon were very young. Backstage at Ozzfest that year we were partying with some of the guys from Megadeth and Tool and I saw a girl take Crown Royal shots out of a human skull. Afterwards I watched Dave Ellefson perform oral on her while she was vomiting into a Marshall stack. That was by far the most offensive thing I've seen in Boston."

Kru Bestor Narte


"A good offense starts with your footwork. Don't give up your stance! It's jab-jab high kick then back into striking position. I'm confident that Boston can get back into scoring with concentration on footwork and balance. Also why are they paying Sturm and Bergeron so much money for? Shouldn't they pick up the scoring slack?"

Dennis "The Snake" Chalker


"Shortly after I returned from my first mission in Panama I went to a Bruins game. I was still nursing a flesh wound I received when our Huey took on small arms fire while the rest of the team was repelling into the jungle. I remember taking a shot into my backside and seeing white foam spray on Lt. Stevenson. The bullet happened to hit my can of shaving cream and it looked like I was made of marshmallows. Anyways I was surprised that Anson Carter was on a top line with Jason Allison. What kind of offensive production can you expect when those two are your top guys. Don't get me started on Dmitri Khristich."

Have a great weekend

- Nemmy