What you missed because of your internet connection, working late and a reasonable bedtime

U.S. beats Switzerland 3-1

Let me just say for every person at my office that stopped to watch the 3PM game vs. the Swiss at the TV near my desk there were 3 guys at the other end of the floor watching a soccer match. I hate my office.

I can't find any clips of the goals so I'll try to describe them.

1) Some Swiss defenseman turns the puck over and Bobby Ryan rips a shot from the slot past Hiller's glove. The puck was just sitting there and Ryan without hesitation ripped it upstairs. I imagine Hiller sees that shot everyday in practice.

2) Miller kicks away a pretty decent Swiss scoring attempt and Blackes scoops up the puck at the circle and carries it the length of the left side of the ice. He beats some Swiss D wide, cuts across the crease and pots the puck by Hiller. Jonas might have been afraid to poke because Blackes would have severed his arm. Total power move.

3) Ryan Malone (who was wearing shoulder pads so loose that you could see his upper body ink) knocks home a rebound through the legs of Hiller. Thankfully no one around the TV makes a "Swiss cheese" joke.

Thoughts:
- Blackes, Malone, and Brown were punishing people. Malone scored after a frothy forecheck and the Swiss couldn't control him in front of the net.

- Parise, Stastny and Kane is a ridiculous line. They weren't completely in sync but could really get it going when they cycled.

- All in all the US team looked sloppy. Part of me thinks they were trying to do too much with the puck. Instead of getting everything deep, banging away and causing turnovers they settled for forcing passes. Part of me (and I hope this isn't the case) thinks that they were freaking the fuck out.

- Drury and Callahan were awesome in the little ice time they got. I think Cally hit the pipe on a shot?

- Miller is a rock.

- Hnat Domenichelli has not dropped off the face of the planet. He played big minutes for the Swiss.

Canada beats Norway 8-0
They took a little while to get going but Canada opened up for 8 goals. Norway didn't skate any current NHLers but they were a little bit of a tougher matchup than the score showed.

- Iginla (had a hat trick) opened up the scoring with a one-timer from Sid. It was the prototypical Jarome goal and it helps to have Rich Nash screening for him.

- Crosby (3 helpers) and Weber were the most impressive Canadian skaters.

- Heatley had 2 goals but Marleau and Thornton were pretty unnoticeable.

- Getzlaf didn't look like he was missing a step from that ankle issue.

- During one of the breaks Milbury and JR were discussing Ovy in comparison to Sid. It is such a tired subject but they went for it and it gummed up the entire broadcast.

- Mike Richards scored off of his own rebound. If he and Patty Bergeron are killing penalties together it will be a huge problem for the rest of the world.

- The Canadian team is that good.

Russia beats Latvia 8-2
I didn't watch this. I don't want to ruin the mystique that has built up around the Russian team. I want Ovy and Semin to kill Carl Weathers on the ice and have Talia Shire scream at Joe Pavelski that he can't win. Plus this game was on too late and I fell asleep before the CAN/NOR game was over.

- Nemmy


- Nemmy

What you missed last night while you were preparing for the snowstorm's rereturn

Senators beat the Flames, 3-2: Niklas Hagman's goal for the Flames was pure quick release SNIPE. Iginla fed it to him in the slot and a shortback swing later, the puck was high glove and in.

Lightning beat the Canucks, 3-1: Stamkos and St. Louis have creepy good chemistry. I imagine there are awkward moments in the shower where Stamkos just puts out his hand and St. Louis no look tosses him the shampoo.

Hawks beat the Stars in the shoot-out, 4-3: I bet Marty Turco leads the league in sliding 2 pad stacks.

Blues beat the Wings in the shoot-out, 4-3: Is St. Louis the Wings regional rival or is it Chicago?

Bruins beat the Sabres in the shoot-out, 3-2: Damn, there were a lot of shoot-outs last night.

Hurricanes beat the Panthers, 4-1: All I can remember from this game are the 2 fights.

Islanders beat the Predators in the shoot-out, 4-3: I definitely was resigned for the Islanders to lose this game last night. I did not expect the last second goal at all. Mark Streit looked more relieved than excited after tying the game with 11 seconds.

Weekend Wrap Up OR Some girls are out-of-control hot

So yea, there was a big trade on Saturday and then a smaller, but then canceled trade yesterday. Remember 2 years ago when Dion Phaneuf was actually untouchable or he at least would have attracted a top pick and prospect and scorer in a trade? Well, not he went to Toronto for 40% of the Leafs scoring (not as impressive as I just made it sound) and Jamal Mayers and Ian White. Who knows how this trade will turn out, but my first instinct is that its pretty even.
I think Burke's better trade was the one for Giguere. Not because of Giguere's possible return to form, but because he somehow convinced Brian Murray to take Vesa Toskala and Jason Blake. Jason Blake! True story, Blake was supposed to be traded to the Ducks at the deadline the year they won the Cup, but Garth Snow didn't get the paper work to the NHL on time.


Besides that, nothing else really changed in the NHL. The Caps keep winning and the Islanders and Bruins keep losing.

Sheldon Souray made sure he won't be traded by breaking his wrist/hand in this fight with Iggy:



Those old school Flame jerseys are awesome.

Here is an example of great hand-eye coordination from Jason Spezza:


Heres Bress' tip of the weekend:




Crosby popped the water bottle in the shoot-out, but Malkin's move was better:



What did I miss?

-Bress

What you missed last night while you were trying to mediate the Jersey Shore-MTV salary negotiations

Canucks beat the Blues, 3-2: The Canucks start a thousand game road trip because of the Olympics soon. They are playing extremely well right now. The Canucks showed some depth, that Kesler and Raymond scored.

Stars beat the Flames in the shoot-out, 4-3: Iginla wanted to fight in the first period but Ott wouldn't oblige. Later Nystrom somehow picked a fight with Frist. And then the Flames lost again.

Lightning shut-out the Canadiens, 3-0: How did all of Victor Hedman's equipment come off?

Hurricanes beat the Rangers, 5-1: Good news for the Rangers, they scored! Bad news for the Rangers, Lundqvist is looking terrible.

Capitals beat the Ducks, 5-1: The Caps offense was flying the entire game, so Giggy actually played well for 2 periods. There were so many good goals: Ovy walking around Niedermayer, Backstrom's sick pass and then shot from Semin on the last goal.

Wild beat the Red Wings, 5-2: There were 3 goals in like 2 minutes in the 2nd period. Osgood was not looking too good last night either. Does Annti Mietinnen have a brother named Prroe?

Sabres beat the Devils in the shoot-out, 2-1: I like how in the shoot-out Americans went against Miller. However, Parise and Langenbrunner were stopped by their February teammate.

What you missed last night

Predators over the Red wings 3-1
Erat gets some space and rips


Isles over Leafs 4-3 in OT (Roloson with 7000 saves)
Jeff "the Truth" Tambellini rips high glove.


Rangers over Jackets 7-4
Jared Boll with a goal and 2 fights.


Bruins beat the Blues 4-2
Savard's first game back. Lucic continues to dominate.


Avalanche over Flyers 5-4
Flyers claw back to make it close. Jeff Carter with 2.

The Oil over the Coyotes 4-0.
Jeff Drouin-Deslauriers with the SO.

Ducks beats the Flames 3-2 in the shootout.
We love Iginla. He starts the rush then finishes the play to send the game to OT. Jokinen's pass wasn't meant for him! What a captain.


Stars over the Hurricanes 2-0
Morrow sets the tone early!


Senators beat the Caps 4-3 in OT
Fisher keeps tearing it up.


Penguins over the Panthers 3-2 in OT
The new Florida 3rd unis. Sick!





- Nemmy

What you missed last night because you were leaving for BA

Bress sent an email last night that he was "leaving for BA". I have no idea what that means but Scotty and I have the keys to the blog for a few days. We don't blame you if you stop reading until after Thanksgiving.

Ottawa over TO 3-2
These two teams beat the hell out of each other. Chris Neil was a wrecking ball as usual. Luke Schenn gets respect for stepping up to try to stop Neil from running over the entire city. Mike Fisher had the first goal, the last goal and got to stare at his star girlfriend's bleached cornhole all night. Watch Colton Orr dominate Matt Carkner in this clip.



Montreal over Carolina 3-2 in a shootout
Brandon Sutter gets the game puck. I need to find the highlight of him giving the outlet pass to Whitney then going hard to the net with his stick down. This is why the 2Man needs a highlight show. Scotty and I would spend 22 minutes replaying this goal and going off. Eventually we would tire ourselves out and get McDonald's. Maybe it's best that we don't have a highlight show.
Maxim Lapierre went bar and in to win the shootout. Matt Cullen shook Carey Price out of his skates at the end but couldn't bury it.

Nashville beat San Jose 4-3
I watched garbage highlights of this game on the Nashville website. The only thing of note is when Jumbo scored to make it 4-2 Nashville he didn't celebrate at all. Thornton isn't a fiery guy by any measure but come on. If Jumbo rips a shot and grabs his teammates maybe he riles his squad up and jolts them back in the game. Maybe?

Colorado over Calgary 3-2
Colorado needed to right the ship and they went into Calgary and crashed and banged for a win. Anytime Cody Mac scores if needs to be mentioned - he runs shit. I'm trying to find highlights of Iginla's goal but here it is: Iginla gets room because he's a beast, finds an open space, gets a pass and one-times a rocket for his 12th of the year. It's the same goal you've seen from Hull, Shanny, Neely, Kovy, Ovechkin you name it. Can't play those guys tight because you'll get bullied, can't give them space because they rip from anywhere. Pure power.

Rene Bourque had a shorty and 9 PIM for a nice little fantasy night.

Washington over NYR 4-2
My buddy Brian got me a ticket to this game last minute so he gets a special mention here. Gabby was great. Ovy had his signature PP goal. Thornton needs to do 5% of Ovy's post-goal celebration to make a bigger impact on San Jose. The Sharks are running shit and Jumbo is having a strong start but a little fire can carry that team farther into the playoffs. I dunno. After Ovy scored he did his thing and eventually went down the bench hifiving his teammates. Brian, who coaches a mite house team, was surprised that Ovy celebrates the way his kids do. Matt Bradley got cut open by 2Man favorite, Aaron Voros and scored the GWG - Strong. What isn't strong was the riceball that I ate at some shit Sbarro on 7th avenue. Green with 2 PP assists and Gabby with 2 tallies with one on the PP. Strength.

- Nemmy

What you missed last night while you were experiencing/watching/participating in a show/art piece/wierdness

Its the Mid-Week Monster Wednesday


Canadiens beat the Thrashers in the shoot-out, 2-1: If Ondrej Pavelec had won the game, he'd be the Monster. He had some sick saves in the 35 or so. But since he lost, it goes to Scott Gomez. Gomez scored in the shoot-out and beat a little piss about Slava Kozlov after Kozlov hit him from behind in OT.

Penguins win over the Blues, 5-1: Dear announcers, not every time Sidney Crosby makes a pass is it a "great pass from Sidney Crosby." A lot of pros can make that pass. Case in point, Sid's assist to Alex Goligoski. The d-man was wide open in the slot and Sid had a ton of time. I think I can put that pass on his tape. Anyway, the Monster for this game was Marc-Andre Fleury. Maybe he didn't have that much work, but he made the saves and kept his head in the game.

Flames beat the BJs, 6-3: Both captains had their Monster moments. Nash scoring short-handed on the 5-on-3 and Iggy's sick snipe in the third period. But the Monster play goes to Freddy Sjorstrom. I can't describe it. I've never seen a play like this.

Crib Notes - Calgary Flames

Calgary Flames
Finished 2nd in the Northwest. Lost to Chicago in 6 games in first round of the playoffs.
Traded Jordan Leopold and change for Jay Bouwmeester
Acquired former Ranger forwards Nigel Dawes and Freddy Sjostrom
Lost Mike Cammalleri and Tito Bertuzzi to free agency
Let Adrian Aucoin fly to Phoenix

Questions going into 2009-2010:
Remember when Mikka Kiprusoff was a monster?
Can Kiprusoff get back on track and dominate?
Will the addition of Jay Bouw on D make up for losing Mike Cammalleri's goal scoring?
How successful will Brent Sutter be in his first season?
Which Canadien athlete will Elisha Cuthbert shack up with next?

Players who need to step up now that Mike Cammalleri is a Canadien:
Olli Jokinen and Jarome Iginla

Watch this guy have a resurgence out of nowhere just because:
Craig Conroy. Who knows.

If you had to buy one Calgary sweater:
I have a red Dougie Gilmour in my closet somewhere. It's as bright as the new throwback 3rds the team will be wearing this season.

Sneaky fantasy LW:
Rene Bourque when healthy was great value

Old guys:
Craig Conroy is 38

Young guys:
John Armstrong is the youngest guy on the roster at 21

Tough guys:
Phaneuf already KO'd Kyle Okposo. (KOed Kyle Okposo, ladies and gentleman. I'm so talented.)
Brian McGrattan is the heavyweight and Brandon Prust is going for the middleweight title.

Favorite old Flamer:
(Tie) Joel Otto and Charles Nelson Reilly

Nostalgia:
Theo Fluery was invited to training camp. He was recently released from the team.

A rare miss:



Goaltending coach:
Jamie McLennan is an assistant so I assume he's coaching the tenders.

Best thing about watching Flames games on tv:
The Saddledome has (in my opinion) the best camera angles on tv and the best collection of talent in the stands. There's always really hot chicks in cowboy hats and red sweaters.

Interesting?:
I see that they have an application to be a part of the Big Country Ice Crew on the team website. I think that's new because the ice girls were called the Fire and Ice chicks or something like that.

NHL 94 players:
Theoren Fleury, Gary Roberts and Joe Nieuwendyk up front.
Gary Suter and Al MacInnis on D with Mike Vernon in net.
Gary Suter was ranked higher than Al MacInnis thart season.

Prediction?:
I don't know if there's enough secondary scoring for this team to really make noise. There's a big drop off after the second line.

YouTube:
You've seen this before and don't even try to watch this again because the song will get stuck in your head for week.


- Nemmy

What you missed last night while you were looking up words in the dictionary

Bruins beat the Canadiens 4-1 (BOS wins series 4-0): A few games ago, the perfect example of the Bruins "wanting it more" was Chuck Kobasew beating captain Saku Koivu to a puck for an empty net goal. Last night it was David Krejci (who gives the worst in-between-period interview), bouncing off a Chris Higgins check, giving the puck to Ryder, and going to the net for the easy give-and-go goal. Boston was the best team in the east going into play-offs and it still looks like the road to the Finals will go through bean town.

Rangers beat the Capitals, 2-1 (NYR leads series 3-1): I've never seen a guy so tired when taking the "3 stars of the game" skate as Henrik Lundqvist. Not surprising as he stopped 38 of 39 shots. The one he missed was an absolute rocket from Alex Ovechkin (finally) that went bar-and-in. Captian Chris Drury scored on quite possibly the worst rebound give up, but was a little slow to take the mouth piece out and celebrate - I'll blame that on the hand injury.

Flames beat the Blackhawks, 6-4 (series tied 2-2): You had to stay up a little late to watch it, but it was worth it. If you look up the definition of "quick release" you'll find a video of Jarome Iginla's first goal last night. Some of the other goals were pretty, like Patrick Sharp's move then backhand no-look pass to Pat Kane for the games first goal. Some were not so pretty, like the turnover that led to Olli Jokinen's first goal. Most of them were of the go to the net hard variety. Saturday night is the next game. Watch it!

What you missed last night while you were icing your knees afer running the Boston Marathon

Bruins beat the Canadiens, 4-2 (lead series 3-0): Carey Price controls rebounds the way I do when playing roller hockey goalie. The puck (in my case, the ball) goes off to side, but its still in front and a professional hockey player can easily still finish - see goal, Ryder. A couple of years ago the Sabres beat the Senators with a game winning short-handed goal. I believe it was JP Dumont walking around captain Daniel Aflredsson. I lost respect for Alfie after that. Thats kind of how I felt when Chuck Kobasew beat Koivu to the loose puck last night to get the game clinching empty netter.

Capitals shut-out the Rangers, 4-0 (NYR leads series 2-1): Is Simeon Varlamov in the Rangers' heads now? He's pitched 5+ periods of shut-out hockey. I like his helmet also. Its like he told the designer, "I'll probably be in Hershey, but just in case make half the helmet a Caps helmet." Avery was typical bush-league at the end. I wonder if he'll get suspended? It was a head shot (see Lucic, Milan) and a message-send (see Carcillo, Daniel). The precendent is there Colin. Ovechkin hasn't scored yet, but he did have a nice primary assist. And when did Nick Backstrom get strong? Thursday's game is going to be a good one.

Flames beat the Blackhawks, 4-2 (CHI leads series 2-1): This is the series. I guess its just my man-crush on Jarome Iginla. Some of the goals this game were pretty. Like the Hawks first one. A win in the face-off - move the puck from d-to-d. down the wall to Toews, cross-crease pass to Sharp. And that equals a power play goal. Eric Nystrom then tied it up with a nice high glove snipe off a cross zone pass from Curtis Glencross. Then the goals got a bit uglier along with the game. There was some scrumming and hitting and everything that makes play-off hockey great. Stay up for these games, east-coasters!

What you missed last night because you were taken hostage by Somali pirates

Senators beat the Bruins, 3-2: Dany Heatleys rush that hit the post - Heater, cut and jumped in between 2 Boston d-men. When he was on his back he managed to lift the puck over Manny Fernandez's shoulder only to be denied by the cross bar. Also Sen's coach Clouston got extended for 2 years - so he'll be fired next January?

Rangers beat the Canadiens, 3-1: Drury's 1st goal - It was kind of a broken play and Drury just turned and fired it on net and the puck went by Carey Price. Price's reaction was priceless (sorry) as he couldn't believe Drury found room. It wasn't a snipe, but it just shows pure skill and instinct.

Canucks beat the Flames, 4-1: Iginla's goal - All the Nuck goals were of the ugly, bouncy variety. Jarome was behind the net, practically, got the puck off his skate and onto his stick and in the net in the time it takes to look at cleavage and then look away.

Kings beat the Oilers, 2-1: The fights - Super tall rookie Brian Boyle had a nice scrap with much shorter Theo Peckham. Penner fought Johnson - meh. Later Zach Stortini fought Ratis Ivanis.

Wild beat the Stars, 3-1: Gaborik's goal - Overall, Marian had a great game, adding 2 assists to his goal. But the goal was nice, because of the patience and pass of Andrew Brunnette.

Blues beat the Coyotes, 5-1: Tkachuk's goal - Honestly, Bryzgalov was brutal and he gave the puck away to Tkachuk. But Tkachuk didn't just fire it on net. He waited, found the room and fired it upstairs. It was Mr. W-esque.

Maple Leafs win over the Devils, 4-1: Taylor Hanson's first goal - Li'l Hanson drove to the net and got his first ever NHL goal. Got to love that.

Blackhawks beat the Predators, 4-2: Toews snipe - First of all it was bar-and-in. I love that. Second of all there are few players who if you give room coming over the blue line can beat a keeper with a wrist shot. I hope Toews turns into one of those players.

Penguins win over the Lightning, 5-3: Crosby's first goal - There was a great camera angle for this goal. Crosby's one-time were perfectly placed, just inside the post. Rammo had no shot.

Sharks win over the Avalanche in the shoot-0ut, 1-0: Peter Budaj - His best save was the one he had where he robbed JR. He moved across and then got the glove up enough to beat JR one-timer attempt in front.

Capitals beat the Thrashers, 4-2: Caps backhand goals - Both Kozlov and Semin had sweet backhand goals. Kozlov's was in tight and Semin's was on a breakaway.

Hurricanes shut-out the Islanders 9-0: Its not even fair to talk about this game, but Staal did have a hat trick.

Flyers beat the Panthers, 2-1: Hartnell's cross-check - Carter got the goal, but it doesn't happen with out the ref missing that call.

What you missed last night while you were dreaming about Doug Weight

Senators beat the Canadiens, 3-2: Alexei Kovalev is the mayor of Snipe City. He beat Gerber saturday night with a sick shot on the power play. And his quick release beat Auld to the far side last night. If Kovalev's the mayor, then Heatley must be the deputy sheriff of Snipe City. He walked into the wrister that was the game winner. Halak never had a chance. Tonight the Canadiens need the win versus the Rangers. Anyone know what channel that game is on?

Red Wings beat the Sabres, 4-1: Hossa got 39 and 40 last night. He is just having a superb year and should probably win the Selke. Osgood played very solidly last night except on the one goal he gave up, he kind of pulled the ol' statue of liberty hold up the glove, but I don't have the puck move. Reminds me of Pat Roy in the playoffs years ago.

Flames win over the Kings, 4-1: The Flames really, just kind of dominated the game last night. It was like they knew they were better and just played that way. A nice ugly goal from poor-man's Owen Nolan, Craig Conroy. Then a sweet one-timer from Iggy and a nice pass from Conroy to Moss who finished. When Calgary plays this well they will dominate.

What you missed last night while you were trying to get the last piece of apple pie

Rangers shut-out the Devils, 3-0: Avery was a good boy last night. I hope people paid attention to Henrik Lundqvist. Lundqvist is an odd-style goalie. He plays super deep in his net and covers almost the complete bottom third. He is almost always beaten up high. Last night, however, Lundqvist made some nice glove saves. And when he does that and holds onto the puck, he's damn near unbeatable. Avery is important, but Lundqvist is the guy that makes or breaks the Rangers.

Coyotes beat the Stars, 6-5: Of the 11 goals scored in this game, I would estimate that 9 of them were of the ugly variety. I mean really ugly. Ugh. I can't believe that Versus chose this game over the Sharks/Flames. Seriously, why are you even reading a bad recap about 2 teams who will miss the playoffs. Move on...

Sharks beat the Flames, 2-1: Joe Thornton found Dan Boyle on the power play to get the sharks out to a 1-0 lead. Boyle put the one-timer high glove, back from where the pass came from. A very very very good shot. Later Jarome Iginla did a stop move that froze the D and Nabakov and then he ripped a wrist shot through both sets of legs. Great innovative skill. Cheechoo got the game winner. Simple, hard hitting, playoff-type game.

Weekend Wrap Up OR Who didn't have a hat-trick?

A quick rundown of players that had a hat-tricks this weekend:

Ray Whitney - I loved all 3 of his goals, the great pass on this one...



But the walk in slapper top shelf. It doesn't get better than that


Eric Staal - the very next night! and he had 4. But in a 9-3 win, you don't get the video highlights

Sean Bergenhiem - 2 against Brodeur and 1 (the prettiest) against an empty net

Rick Nash - All unassisted

David Booth - Just got it done.


Some more questions about the past weekend?

How bad was Calgary this weekend?
Gave up 11 total goals to Atlanta and Carolina and only scored 3. 2 of those were from Iggy.

Will Scotty's little brother be in love with Bobby Ryan the way Scotty loves Mikey Mo?


Is this the nicest saucer pass you've ever seen?


I wish they showed the end-zone view.


Does Pierre Maguire fawn over everything?


How Guerin doing in Pitt?
Pretty darn well. He and Crosby have some chemistry:

And old-school billy black showed up as well:


This isn't a question, but Steve Ott is awesome. The Stars lost in spite of him yesterday. He drew 3 penalties... in the first period alone. And lets not forget about the offensive skills he has (from Fridays game):

AND



So, what did I forget?

-Bress

What a game to fall asleep to in a snowstorm

Kiprusoff took the night off last night and gave up at the very least a game that should have been an overtime point. Got my fantasy team some much needed (Negative) points. Thanks Miika! Ahh ya can't get salty, he's put up an impressive '09 campaign thus far. Iginla with 5 points, recchi with 5 assists, Mikey Camma with a bunch along with Vinny and Marty St. Aggrippa chewin' up the line as well. You could just feel that game building with offensive energy as it went along.

When I see a box score like that one and you have most of the stars in one league or another from both teams involved, it's simply marvelloso. I see this when I see a box score like that one.

So the Dow Jones broke 7,000 and upside looks like me after a bottle of Cutty Sark so what we will do is take it slow out there because its wet and snowy here in NYC. So go home, get a quick pump in, crul up by the fire and watch the one game on tonight-bottom racing.com, Isles vs Avs and sip some hot cocoa.


Ahh...those were the days.
Great video find from 2man consultant Feign.

- Narnia

Blog Survey

A little while ago ESPN conducted an NHL player survey and blah blah blah you've probably read it already.

The only question that was really interesting was Question 3: IF YOU COULD CHANGE LIVES WITH ANOTHER PLAYER, WHO WOULD IT BE?

The NHL players surveyed picked Ovy. We are more interested in what our 6 readers have to say.

Below are the results of the ESPN survey in order of number of votes. We've included a short description of the players to get the thought process started. Don't feel limited by the players on this list. The entire league roster is up for debate.

Ovechkin - best player in the league

Lecavalier - set for life, 6'4 220lbs.

Sakic - unquestioned leader, Cup champion

Lidstrom - 4 Cups, bunch of Norris trophies, Swedish girls

Thornton - 6'4 230lbs+, gets to play in San Jose

Crosby - face of the NHL, really good at hockey

Mike Fisher - dates Carrie Underwood

Modano - American hero, married to Willa Ford

Chelios - still alive

Comrie - dates Hillary Duff

Iginla - probably has a bigger dick than you

Kovalev - "most talented", flies planes

Lundquist - cleans up in NYC, probably kills in Sweden

S. Niedermayer - 4 time Cup winner (?), perma-playoff beard

I don't know how to post an actual poll so leave a comment if you want to opine.

-Nemmy