3D Hockey

I haven't seen Avatar but when I was a kid I took in a Captain Eo show in Epcot Center. That being said I think it's pretty sick that tonight's Rangers/Isles game will be broadcast in 3D. If you pay $20 you can sit in the Theater next door to the Garden or if you own a pair of glasses I think Cablevision will broadcast into your living room. Tonight Michal Rozsival's defensive errors will really seem like they jump off the screen. Ba dum bum.

Here's how to top the 3D game:

1) Broadcast the game in 3D from a camera located in Henrik's contacts. The league tried this years ago with Tomas Vokoun in an ASG wearing a huge camera on top of his helmet and it wasn't that great. But a Lundquist contact cam would really blow people's minds. Picture Being John Malkovich if he spent his evenings screened by Redden and staring at tits in the stands.

2) Mic up Sean Avery and let him go uncensored. If the NHL put this On Demand and charged a fee I would be a better buyer. Kovalchuk hears one thing out of Avery's mouth and he loses control so I have to hear what kind of smack he comes up with. Also the Rangers should take every opportunity to mute Joe Micheletti.

3) Here are the top 5 Girl Scout Cookies because it's GSC season and I got bored with writing about the Rangers and only wrote this post because I went on the site and saw that no one else wrote anything:

1) Thin Mints - chocolate and mint and so good frozen. These are easily #1 in my book because I rank these in the number of cookies I can eat in one sitting. Thin Mints are easily a 4 or 5 sleever.

Trefoils - Shortbread is sneaky amazing. Plus it's in a cool shape that when you hold one in your hand you can imagine that you won a challenge from the Vh1's the Pickup Artist.

Tagalongs - aka Peanut butter 1000s. They melt so quickly that you are forced to put them down in one bite. Not a bad thing.

Thanks-A-Lots - I've never eaten one but the description says shortbread and chocolate. They say thanks on the cookie so you don't feel bad about crushing a box or two. You're doing a good thing!

Samoas - I think toasted coconut is gross but I could still put down a half sleeve easily.

That's it.

- Nemmy

What you missed last night while you were watching Sean Avery in Avatar

One is the star of Avatar, Sam Worthington. One is former Dallas Star, Sean Avery.


Flyers beat the Leafs, 6-2: Dan Carcillo hadfought in this game. Ray Ferraro referred to him as "sideshow" Carcillo after the fight. I think thats a great nickname, Dan "Sideshow" Carcillo. During Carcillo's fight against Jamal Mayers (mayer's second of the night), the camera cut to Aaron Asham looking upset that he wasn't involved in the melee. It was endearing.

Wild beat the Flames, 4-1: Belanger had 2 goals. His first one was a super-duper change up. He one-timed a bouncing puck, that if he hit clean should have been a no joke easy goal, but instead it fluttered just past the outstretched Kipper leg.

Rangers win over the Stars, 5-2: Sean Avery/Sam Worthington had a four point night, but considering that both teams actually pay his salary, shouldn't two of those points go to the Stars. We'll give them 2 assists, so its still a win for the Rangers.

Sharks beat the Blues, in OT, 2-1: Is Dany Heatly fast? He looked speedy as he pulled in away in OT on a breakaway. Nice finish too, high blocker, for the game winner.

Sabres beat the Lightning, 5-3: Are the Sabres underrated, overrated or rated? They are top of their division, but no one talks about them, so underrated?

Islanders win over the Avalanche, 3-2: This is better than Hossa's goal -

Weekend Wrap Up OR Who knew getting beat up could rally your team?

I was in Atlantic City for most of the weekend, so I missed a lot of hockey -I can't believe the Borgata didn't have the Center Ice Package! Anyway, as I was bleeding money at the black jack table I saw Daniel Carcillo pounce on a Penguin. I didn't catch who was until the replay and was surprised that Max Talbot was the other combatant. Even though Max got his ass handed to him (and black eye), that woke up his team who scored 5 unanswered goals to win the series. So the next time that some douchebag questions why fighting is in the game, use that example.

One last thing from that game - Sidney Crosby's first goal was great hand-eye coordination to knock it out of mid-air. However, he never gets that opportunity if he doesn't stop and go back to the front of the net. How many lazy players would have just glided around to the other side?



There were a lot of mid-air knock ins this weekend. Whitney had one last night. Someone else had one, I think in the San Jose game. Like I said, I missed a lot

I missed why Tortorella got all pissy. Because some one said that Staal likes to fuck Girardi? Way to preach discipline, Torts. Avery can really learn something from you. Some more questions from the Rangers/Caps series:

• How come it took so long for Washington to figure out that Lundqvist has a weak glove?
• Did Colton Orr get flagged for a horst collar tackle in Sunday's game?
• Where is Nik Zherdev?
• Who sat so Voros could play on Sunday?

Can someone please fill me on the Western Conference games from the weekend?

-Bress
.

What you missed last night while you were icing your knees afer running the Boston Marathon

Bruins beat the Canadiens, 4-2 (lead series 3-0): Carey Price controls rebounds the way I do when playing roller hockey goalie. The puck (in my case, the ball) goes off to side, but its still in front and a professional hockey player can easily still finish - see goal, Ryder. A couple of years ago the Sabres beat the Senators with a game winning short-handed goal. I believe it was JP Dumont walking around captain Daniel Aflredsson. I lost respect for Alfie after that. Thats kind of how I felt when Chuck Kobasew beat Koivu to the loose puck last night to get the game clinching empty netter.

Capitals shut-out the Rangers, 4-0 (NYR leads series 2-1): Is Simeon Varlamov in the Rangers' heads now? He's pitched 5+ periods of shut-out hockey. I like his helmet also. Its like he told the designer, "I'll probably be in Hershey, but just in case make half the helmet a Caps helmet." Avery was typical bush-league at the end. I wonder if he'll get suspended? It was a head shot (see Lucic, Milan) and a message-send (see Carcillo, Daniel). The precendent is there Colin. Ovechkin hasn't scored yet, but he did have a nice primary assist. And when did Nick Backstrom get strong? Thursday's game is going to be a good one.

Flames beat the Blackhawks, 4-2 (CHI leads series 2-1): This is the series. I guess its just my man-crush on Jarome Iginla. Some of the goals this game were pretty. Like the Hawks first one. A win in the face-off - move the puck from d-to-d. down the wall to Toews, cross-crease pass to Sharp. And that equals a power play goal. Eric Nystrom then tied it up with a nice high glove snipe off a cross zone pass from Curtis Glencross. Then the goals got a bit uglier along with the game. There was some scrumming and hitting and everything that makes play-off hockey great. Stay up for these games, east-coasters!

Avery, Thomas and JP Nuzzo

As much as I love Timmy Thomas, the Boston Bruins and the rules of our sport I can't seem to get worked up over Sean Avery's 'accidental' stick incident last Saturday.



It would be hypocritical for me to get up in arms when I pulled the same shit when I was playing.

Warning: we're starting story time now. JJ Putz just came in to protect the Mets 2-1 lead in the 8th and this story could really get away from me and turn into an hour long tale that goes nowhere. I'll start writing but there's no telling where we may end up. You've been warned.

In high school Heals and I played for a Catholic school that drew kids from the neighboring towns. Every team we faced was considered a rival because, for the most part, we would be playing against the home squad of at least 2 or 3 guys on our team.

Most of the time there were friendly rivalries where guys would battle on the ice and share a laugh after the game. You grew up in that town and played youth hockey with many of the guys we faced in high school so it never got too heated or too friendly most of the time.

Heals's hometown was different; Hamden, Connecticut hated Healey. I don't know where it got ugly but some of the kids that Heals used to call friends were part of the group that threw jars of spaghetti sauce threw his windows in high school. Some of the mothers that Heals's mom used to sit next to when watching their mites bump around the ice were the same mothers who would taunt and jeer her at the local grocery. Shit was so weird and personal when we played Hamden and, being his friend and teammate, it was impossible not to get caught up in some of it.

Playing in that Hamden rink was always an adventure for us. We knew going in that the crowd would be hostile not just because they hated Heals but because it seemed like the whole town had nothing else in their lives other than high school hockey. The parents who had kids took these games as seriously as their sons did and the people who didn't have skin in the game seemed even more invested in the outcome. The environment was awesome and completely frightening all the same time.

Anyways, while playing in Hamden's barn late senior year the crowd was getting on Heals during the warm ups. It wasn't anything out of line or anything we hadn't heard before but in a must win game for both teams this crowd was gaining an edge before the puck was dropped. Again, they were awesome and positively terrifying all at the same time.

We were used to big audiences and the venom didn't really bother us that much but since they were making it tough for my goalie to start the game I tried to turn things around on their guy. We had an ice cut after warm ups and when the doors opened to start the 1st I skated the length of the ice and slashed their netminder in the head as head stretched atop his crease.

I did it to shake things up. I wanted to pull the kid off of his focus and I wanted the crowd to get all fired up that some dirty scumbag slashed their goalie and the refs didn't see it. Most importantly I wanted my teammates to see that I was not going to let some energized parents and fans dictate the tone of the game. They paid the $5 to get into the door but they came to see my show. Any physical tone would be set by me.

Truth being told I actually liked the other goalie. We went to school together and he was one of the nicest kids you'd ever meet. I had nothing against him off the ice but I'd do almost anything to win including cheap shots and dick moves to give my team the advantage. That's why I can't fault Avery for slapping Thomas the Tank Engine's helmet the other day. He didn't go out to injure him, he simply wanted to shake up the goalie who was stoning his team back into the 8th playoff spot. If Thomas went apeshit, lost his focus and gave up a soft goal after the game you would all crown Avery as a master pest. Instead he did his job and it didn't work.

If Avery gets suspended it would be a joke on par with when the league punished him for a stupid press conference. Avery hits Thomas, Thomas goes after Avery they both get 2 mins and hockey is back to normal. They'll see each other again. Hockey has a great way of evening things out.

As for Avery's intent, I can't fault him. A dbag tried to stir things up with a dick move and it didn't work. This dbag sees nothing wrong with that.

-Nemmy

Putz, KRod = Yes. See you tomorrow.

Weekend Wrap-Up

Not sure if we are purposely holding off with the weekend wrap up but it might be a good time to get something up on the blog today.

Here's where we stand right now:

1 - Boston - 112 - locked and loaded

2 - DC - 104 - same

3 - NJD - 102 - about to wrap up the division

4 - Philly - 95 - Carter is still going crazy

5 - Carolina - 95 - playing out of their minds right now

6 - Pitt - 93 - post season bound; not playing great hockey

7 - Mon - 92 - wouldn't like to face them in the opener. OTT, NYR, BOS, PITT to end things

8 - NYR - 89 - 3 games before pencils down. MTL, PHILLY (2x) to end things

Florida - 89 - 3 games: at Philly, at ATL, DC = not impossible

Buf - 85 - 4 games left: DET, at TOR, at CAR, BOS = good luck with allll that.

1 - SJ - 115 - locked and loaded

2 - DET - 109 - same but with a 'different' Osgood than last season

3 - CGY - 94 - So many moving parts in the west. Great logjam in the middle here

4 - CHI - 97 - Nice to see Chicago back in the post season

5 - VAN - 94

6 - CBJ - 90 - Really rooting for this team

7 - ANA - 88

8 - NSH - 86 - This team too

St. Louis - 86 - feel good story of hockey right now. Last 3: at PHO, CBJ, at COL

Minnesota and Edmonton have 86 points, 3 games left and a chance to ruin the playoffs if they get in.

We'll do the whole playoff match up preview needfull when the dust settles this weekend. We'll do some half ass analysis, makes awful picks and maybe even include a video or two. Who knows?

Games tonight:

Det at Buffalo - Make or break for the Sabres.

Ott at Montreal - a few weeks ago I was talking about how great it would be if Montreal missed the playoffs in it's indulgent 100 year anniversary. Crazy.

LA at Calgary - I'll be asleep.

What else happened? Avery was a dick (on the ice), Crosby stuck up for Malkin, Tim Thomas still will make less then Lundquist, Turco etc, Ron Wilson will coach us in Vancouver, and the Isles look like they can secure that last spot in the league despite the sick play of Yann Danis (for real).

I was away all week so I missed a shitload. Apparently I had today off from work too but only found out when I saw my boss at 7am.

Help fill me in.

- Nemmy

Really, NHL? Really?

You're going to use Sean Avery in your marketing campaigns? Really sends the right message. Maybe its NBC's copy, but the email was sent to me from NHL@news.nhl.com. Also check out the subject line: Watch Sean Avery, Henrik Lundqvist and the Rangers continue their fight for the playoffs against the Flyers this Sunday on NBC! Lundqvist gets second billing behind a guy who just joined there team? Really? Maybe they went in alphabetical order. I guess the really sad thing is that on the NHL's marquee franchise there isn't another marketable player. If only Mission didn't get bought, we would have taken Scott Gomez to the top!

What you missed last night while you were smelling Marc Savard

Its, Friday, so its Hockey Haikus!

Blackhawks beat the Flames, 5-2:
Phaneuf scored a top
shelf goal, but forgot to play defense.
therefore, the hawks win.

Bruins beat the Senators in the shoot-0ut, 4-3:
Scotty screamed out YYEEEAAAAHHHHHHH!
at the exact right moment
to scare the whole bar.

Oilers beat the Blues in the shoot-out, 2-1:
Two teams who will miss
the playoffs, decide their game
via a skills comp.

Hurricanes beat the Sharks in the shoot-out, 4-3:
Seriously, does
Nabakov even practice
facing breakaways?

Kings beat the Capitals, 5-4:
The Kings scored a lot
of bar and in. but they let
the Caps make it close.

Predators win over the Ducks, 4-2:
I hope neither of
these teams make the playoffs. Their
games have bad lighting.

Avalanche beat the Stars, 3-2:
The Rangers want Sean.
Too bad the Stars have no pull
Its all on waivers.

Panthers win over the Islanders, 3-2:
Zednick beat one man
at the blue line, then jumped Witt
and scored for great goal!