Mucus

This is the first idiot cartoon I ever made. what a joke. Clean up your mucus people. Please!


Zellius

Why Danielle should stick with the Islanders and forget the Habs

Last week the Active Stick posted the reasons that my girlfriend should become a Habs fan (you can read that post here). While there is much I don't agree with in that post, I can agree that Danielle is gorgeous and that any team would be lucky to have her fandom. However, I will not be posting a picture of Danielle to confirm said gorgeousness, so if thats what you came for, I'm sorry to disappoint.

Anyway, here are the reasons that Danielle should stick with the Islanders:

• Notice that I didn't say choose the Islanders, but instead, stick with them. Thats because the only hockey game that Danielle has every been to was an Islanders game. Why would she choose to be a fan of a team she has never even seen live? I could understand more if she wanted to be an Avalanche fan, but thats neither here nor there. If Montreal is such a great hockey city and has such terrific fans, how come not one of them ever invited Danielle to game when she was living there for 6 years!?

• Orange is a great color and with the throwback royal blue look terrific on Danielle. Granted, she's so hot, that she would look smoking in a burlap sack, but the point is that Islander's orange looks great on her

• If speaking French is the only qualification you need to be a coach in Montreal, no wonder they've struggled lately. The Islanders have plenty of french-speaking players for Danielle to converse with. Plus she can teach the non-french speakers how to trash talk their Quebecois opponents

• Islander fans are just as passionate as Canadien fans, but you know, without the rioting or occasional racism.

• Following the Canadiens means that there are super-high expectations every year followed by massive disappointment. Danielle has a high stress job, she doesn't need much more to worry about. Following the Islanders means low expectations, so any success is a bonus!
  

• The Islanders will continue to get high draft picks, so she won't have to stay up too late to find out who they draft in the first round.

• Finally, since Danielle lives in New York now, its important that she choose the right side of the New York rivalry, and being a Rangers fan might be even worse than being a Habs fan.

-Bress

Weekend Warrior

Mike Delisi once called me a weekend warrior one time when I attempted to make my drinking habits seem ok. This weekend required the warrior in me. It started off with Justin McDizzle knocking at my door around 1:30 Thursday AM. Two greasssyyyy spider monkeys and an Abe Lincoln later and Friday night was upon us. Nemy's wedding night.
wow what a photo of Nem there huh?
A splendid affair which featured the best Clark Kent rendition by Mac. Camille had quite a strong impression on his person as well. Together they operated machinery that had not been in use in quite some time.

Yes Dance got hitched Friday and it was a glorious affair overlooking Lady Liberty Harbor in New York. I sang Lazy Mary by Lou Monte in token to my friendship. I said Yes. Just say Yes!

The wedding night saw many old friendships come back together. Many gestures came out that we hold so high here at the 2man heart. Why just yesterday, James Wisniewski new member to the Islander D-core exemplified to Sean Avery some remnants from the Wedding.

Perhaps our best group rendition of the photo at the Piers displaying the Rangers in 94 after they won their last stanley cup. Notice how I use the word Last!

Then there is Brian Kinahan doing his best impression of everything in this photo.What about me snaking Brad Boyes in the 15th plus round of every single draft I had this year. Come on dude. Buying on a pullback year. The man will have a 30 and 30 at the worst.

Ovy's game winner last night and all is back and right with the world as it should be.

My weekend continued the following night at another great friends wedding out on Long Island whose highlights included my Pops in a fire red tie, Sternberg head butting me after many drinks and the calming presence of Geno Malkin on a powerplay in mid-February. My neck and knees are sooo soar from dancing that I am just sitting out of life this week. I am on the verge of either leaving my job or getting fired and I figure thats fine because as Nemy always said the Josef Vasicek show we did is pulling in a ton of royalities from the networks so I got that going for me.

I met up with Leonard the Cat recently and he tried to make me remember to look at bright side of everything. He wasn't always a billionaire. He didn't always have the largest emerald mine in the world or the largest collection of subterranean bug faces but what he did always have was his integrity, beliefs and good nature. He and Camille recently ventured to the Falkland Islands to one of Leonards many summer retreats to discuss business ethics and the crisis in the Middle East. They bought the only liquor store on the main island and locked themselves in the house for a week. It ended with a Matt Moulson hat-trick, a goal, assist and a snot rocket before Camille boarded his space ship and headed for the hedge.

This Saturday the 2man crew will head to the Coliseum for a cancer night against the powerful Avalanche army. We go in rememberance of a fallen comrade. A great man whose spirit is strong and steady in the after life. A man who would always cheer me up after a college game that I felt I hadn't played well in. He would always help me get over it with a smile or a laugh. Well this Saturday we shall pour some out for him and maybe eat one too many brownies in honor of him. When I think of the Islander team in my lifetime I think of a few select memories. Pat Lafontaine, Trottier, Nystrom, Tambellini, Bruno, Dan Bressler and his old school mesh jerz, my grandma bathing me in her sink during games when I was a pup so I could see the tv and Al Bressler with his jolly old smile and good nature. Travis Green is in there too with maybe Mic Vukota or Rich Pilon...weird.

Well until next time...fight the trend and FUCK the haters!

Barbone

3D Hockey

I haven't seen Avatar but when I was a kid I took in a Captain Eo show in Epcot Center. That being said I think it's pretty sick that tonight's Rangers/Isles game will be broadcast in 3D. If you pay $20 you can sit in the Theater next door to the Garden or if you own a pair of glasses I think Cablevision will broadcast into your living room. Tonight Michal Rozsival's defensive errors will really seem like they jump off the screen. Ba dum bum.

Here's how to top the 3D game:

1) Broadcast the game in 3D from a camera located in Henrik's contacts. The league tried this years ago with Tomas Vokoun in an ASG wearing a huge camera on top of his helmet and it wasn't that great. But a Lundquist contact cam would really blow people's minds. Picture Being John Malkovich if he spent his evenings screened by Redden and staring at tits in the stands.

2) Mic up Sean Avery and let him go uncensored. If the NHL put this On Demand and charged a fee I would be a better buyer. Kovalchuk hears one thing out of Avery's mouth and he loses control so I have to hear what kind of smack he comes up with. Also the Rangers should take every opportunity to mute Joe Micheletti.

3) Here are the top 5 Girl Scout Cookies because it's GSC season and I got bored with writing about the Rangers and only wrote this post because I went on the site and saw that no one else wrote anything:

1) Thin Mints - chocolate and mint and so good frozen. These are easily #1 in my book because I rank these in the number of cookies I can eat in one sitting. Thin Mints are easily a 4 or 5 sleever.

Trefoils - Shortbread is sneaky amazing. Plus it's in a cool shape that when you hold one in your hand you can imagine that you won a challenge from the Vh1's the Pickup Artist.

Tagalongs - aka Peanut butter 1000s. They melt so quickly that you are forced to put them down in one bite. Not a bad thing.

Thanks-A-Lots - I've never eaten one but the description says shortbread and chocolate. They say thanks on the cookie so you don't feel bad about crushing a box or two. You're doing a good thing!

Samoas - I think toasted coconut is gross but I could still put down a half sleeve easily.

That's it.

- Nemmy

Vito Barbaralis & Tony Muskrat

This is fluidity 101 compliments of Adam Weinbranis. Adam sat behind Neil Smith at the Ranger game last night. What a 2man throwback. If you see us on tv again this season, you can thank that man.



Landon Donovan and Jeff Woywitka.

Dany Heatley is playing on the second unit for San Jose's powerplay. Interesting. Thank god the Rangers win streak ended because that was just getting too out of hand. I mean the islanders haven't even one a game yet...let's just take it a little slower ok. A little more homeostasis in the league to start. Let's calm down...prospal is centering your first unit on the PP. Yes he's doing well and yes I have him on a squad but please...calm down.

Sue Sung and hanging on to it all

Jeff Woywitka!

Crib Notes - New York Rangers

New York Rangers
Last season - 4th in the Atlantic, Collapsed in round 1 vs. the Capitals
Lost tough guy Colton Orr to Toronto via free agency
Lost Freddy Sjostrom to Calgary via free agency
Lost rentals Derek Morris and Nik Antropov to Boston and Atlanta, respectively. Not sure the Rangers even wanted these guys back.
Lost Paul Mara to Montreal via free agency
Traded Scott Gomez and some cats and dogs for Chris Higgins and change
Signed Donald Brashear to replace Colton Orr
Signed Ales Kotalik to replace Nik Zherdev (who was let go and has yet to sign with a team)
Signed Vinny Prospal and re-signed Ryan Callahan
Signed Marian Gaborik with the money saved from trading Scott Gomez.
Let Markus Naslund and Lauri Korpikoski go.

Questions going into 2009-2010:
How many games will oft-injured Marian Gaborik play?
Can Henrik Lundquist's keep this team in playoff contention even with a weak defense?
How will the team respond to a full season under John Tortorella?
Does the rest of the league realize that they can torch Hank Lundquist's glove hand by now?
Will Hobey winner Matt Gilroy and former 1st rounder Bobby Sanguinetti help the thin defense? What will happen to Brandon Dubinsky? Is he singed for 2009-10?
Which high-priced player gets booed in MSG first - Kotalik, Rosival, Redden, Drury or Gaborik?

Poised for a breakout season:
Chris Higgins. He's a Long Island native and NYC will love his game. 30 goals this year.

I'm sure he's a great guy but:
Joe Micheletti is a dreadful color analyst. Keeping him around is the worst mistake MSG has made since they stopped serving Bud Ice.

If you had to buy one Ranger sweater:
Blue Drury. It tells people that you are pretty reliable and always in a position to win.
I think Scotty found a white, misspelled, Straka jersey in his apartment this summer. I may have dreamed this.
I know his gf's parents bought him an Avery jersey for Christmas because they knew that he was a big hockey fan. They're from Kentucky so it was a good try and a nice thought.

Is this former Ranger Ron Duguay or rocker Jon Bon Jovi?



Player whose game you sneaky like:
Donald Brashear has a pretty good shot when he gets it off and has more a better stick than your typical tough guy. Plus he's a top 3 heavyweight.

Something that only interests me and a few others:
Roster hopeful Dane Byers is cousins with former Bruin badass Lyndon Byers

Old guys:
Brashear is 37
Prospal is 34
Drury is 33
Redden is 32
The "Potvin Sucks" cheer should have died 15 years ago.

Young guys:
Dubi is 23
Marc Staal is 22

Tough guys:
Avery plays tough, Higgins and Callahan finish checks, Voros is scrappy and Brashear is a beast.

Interesting:
The Rangers practice facility keeps cups full of cough drops on the bench because Jagr used to like to eat them while skating.

Nostalgia:
Either chubby Chris Drury pitching Trumbell, CT to a LLWS title or the 2Man interviewing Patty Riss in a bathroom.

NHL 94 players:
Messier, Gartner and Tikkanen starting up front. Beezer in net.
Brian Leetch rated 76 was a crime.

YouTube:
Our Penguin Ulf tries to steal a broken Lundquist stick and gets in trouble with Aaron Voros.


- Nemmy

Sahner Oil

Vancouver Spartans stats - 30 games in (Video Game Hockey)

Brad McGann - 75 goals, 35 assists - 110 points
John Giardino - 58 goals, 52 assists - 110 points
Matt Weindel - 75 goals, 70 assists - 145 points
Nemy - 5 goals, 65 assists - 70 points
Scotty - 8 goals, 56 assists - 64 points

Heals (goalie) - 30 wins 0.99 save percentage with 7 shutouts

Things have gotten wildly out of control.

I'd like to say something about the Washington-NYR series. To be honest I would like nothing more than the Rangers to lose, as an avid Islander fan it becomes just a natural part of the game rivalry to hate the opposing New York team. In this situation, you can't be a Mets fan and still not mind the Yankees. Hatred for the other side. Good fan friendly hatred not literally fighting or drunken abuse over it though.

However if the Rangers win, I actually would not mind it so much because it just keeps the playoff NHL spirit around NYC. Guys in my office that really could give a left testicle about the sport are all about it right now. I went to dinner with my girl and some friends last night and bumped into Paul Lenti (our college/men's league goalie) at Penn Station in his blueshirt. The energy is high...the team is poopy but it works and I get it so I officially cover my Ranger short in praise of the spirit around me for at least another series. If they go to the conference finals I may get a little over it but for now its ok.

I still think no one has a chance against the wings in 7 games. But hey stranger things have happened. The Bruins and the Wings look sharp as they should. Getting rid of those first round match-ups the way they did was very very professional.


This guy is me today.
He is also sneaky the opposite of everything.


On a different note but following the same theme...maybe


Does anyone even understand this?
Is it the ghost of Christmas Past?

Do you guys really think the Ducks will beat the Sharks? I think Jumbo Joe inflates and they open this thing up.

- Barnabus