What you missed last night while you were preparing for the snowstorm's rereturn

Senators beat the Flames, 3-2: Niklas Hagman's goal for the Flames was pure quick release SNIPE. Iginla fed it to him in the slot and a shortback swing later, the puck was high glove and in.

Lightning beat the Canucks, 3-1: Stamkos and St. Louis have creepy good chemistry. I imagine there are awkward moments in the shower where Stamkos just puts out his hand and St. Louis no look tosses him the shampoo.

Hawks beat the Stars in the shoot-out, 4-3: I bet Marty Turco leads the league in sliding 2 pad stacks.

Blues beat the Wings in the shoot-out, 4-3: Is St. Louis the Wings regional rival or is it Chicago?

Bruins beat the Sabres in the shoot-out, 3-2: Damn, there were a lot of shoot-outs last night.

Hurricanes beat the Panthers, 4-1: All I can remember from this game are the 2 fights.

Islanders beat the Predators in the shoot-out, 4-3: I definitely was resigned for the Islanders to lose this game last night. I did not expect the last second goal at all. Mark Streit looked more relieved than excited after tying the game with 11 seconds.

What you missed last night because you had money on the Dolphin game

Scotty and I don't know how to write a haiku so we need to do something different this week. Instead of the regular recaps we're going to give a quick and appropriate response if by chance a coworker comes up to your desk talk about the game.

Q: Did you see the Canes came back to beat the Leafs 6-5 in the shootout?
A: Holy shit what a game! By the time Tim Gleason scored his 2nd of the night I was already on my 4th diaper.

Side note: Lee Stempniak's goal was everything that's good in this world.



Q: Did you see that Boston held off Atlanta 4-3 last night?
A: It was good to see Ryder get it going and Bergeron's SO move shook Scotty off his bar stool.



Q: How about Nashville beating Jersey 3-2 in the shootout?
A: That game was basically Parise vs. Arnott. Why can't we get any Nashville games in HD?

Side note: Scotty, how about the fact that Erat got the winner? Martin Erat.

Q: Did you see the beating Pittsburgh took? They lost to Ottawa last night 6-2.
A: Rough 3rd period for the Pens but how about Chris Neil? He is officially the 2009 beastmaster. Who else stands in there like that??????



Q: How about St. Louis beating the Coyotes in OT?
A: Tkachuk's goal was scary. When he goes to net like that it's like standing in traffic at the Port Authority. Johnson's OT winner was very Brian Leetch. Very Brian Leetch.



Q: Did you see the BJs beatup on the Stars 4-1?
A: Turco was terrible last night but didn't get much help. Huselius with a shorty and a PPG - HEAVY BIKE.

Q: Chicago whooped the Flames 7-1. Blowout in Calgary huh?
A: Last night we were talking about how Jokinen needs to pick up the scoring pace. He had a PPG last night. Let's see who else gets into a shouting match in Calgary.

Q: I heard the Ducks won 4-3 in OT vs. Tampa Bay.
A: For the Ducks to make up for their shit goaltending they need games like this where Getzlaf, Ryan, Selanne and Niedemayer all contribute. Stamkos is the real deal. Sophomore heavy bike.

- Nemmy

What you missed last night while you waiting for the Afghanistan elections to settle

Islanders beat the Oilers, 3-1: Brendan Witt had 2 goals in this game. Brendan Witt! While Witt was tearing it up offensively, Andy Sutton was laying down the law in the neutral and d-zone. Even after he had to fight after hitting Gagner or Cogliano he didn't shy away from hits later in the game. I'd mention that Khabibulin wasn't sharp, but if Brendan Witt scores, you know thats the case.

Kings beat the Coyotes, 5-3: Both the Coyotes and the Islanders were at home last night. I'd say the Vegas line on combined attendance was 12,498. I would have taken the under. Anyway, Jason LaBarbara got the start against his old team and let up the kind of goals that probably led to the Kings trading him away. Kopitar scored from a bad angle, however Doughty's game winner was the result of a super screen. Why isn't SLG (screens that lead to goals) a stat yet?

Flyers win over the Lightning, 6-2: This game was a 5 o'clock start because of the World Series. I watched the third when I got home from work and the crowd looked solid. I wonder if Mr. W made that double header. The Flyers dominated. No surprise. Stamkos is on a sneaky scoring streak. He sniped far post last night.

What you missed last night while you were making last minute adjustments to your halloween costume

Oilers beat the Red Wings in the shoot-out, 6-5:
I can't believe that
Howard didn't get pulled. I
guess Osgood ain't good.

Canucks beat the Kings in the shoot-out, 2-1:
Kopitar did all
he could, but couldn't score. Nucks,
do fine with guys hurt.

Lightning beat the Senators, 5-2:
No sophomore slump for
Stamkos. Can we call it a
Sophomore step up? Slam?

Capitals beat the Thrashers, 4-3:
As long as Ovy
keeps on pace, I am happy.
50 in 50!

Coyotes shut-out the Blues, 2-o:
If the Coyotes
make the play-offs and no one
comes. Does it still count?

Devils beat the Bruins, 2-1:
Both of the Devils'
goals literally slipped through
Tim Thomas' legs

Predators shut-out the Blackhawks, 1-0:
This is a score you
hardly ever see at all
anymore. I'm done!

What you missed last night while you were watching some unknown bands at a CMJ show

Friday, haikus, you know the drill.

Canadiens beat the Islanders, 5-1:
Islanders got their
first win and then go right back
to their losing ways.

Oilers beat the BJs, 6-4:
Best game of the night
and not just because of the
sweet Oiler jerseys.

Predators beat the Senators in OT, 6-5:
A back and forth game
with tons of goals ends with a
Weber game-winner.

Kings beat the Stars, 5-4:
Kopitar's hat trick
had 3 good goals, but the first
was pure skill and stretch.

Coyotes beat the Red Wings in OT, 3-2:
Every year I
am down on Osgood, but come
on! What a soft goal!

Capitals beat the Thrashers, 5-4:
How can the Caps score
5 and Ovy has zero?
He needs to keep pace!

Lightning win over the Sharks, 5-2:
Mike Smith always wants
to play the puck. Stamkos scored
again. Worst haiku?

Devils beat the Rangers, 4-2:
Nemmy texted me,
"I love when the rangers lose
at home." Me too, Nem.

Flyers beat the Bruins in the shoot-out, 5-4:
When will we get to
see the Bruins third jerseys?
Not till the Classic?

What you missed last night while you were angrily watching Jim and Pam's wedding

Its Friday, so its back to Hockey Haikus. There were a ton of games last night.


Flames beat the Oilers in the shoot-out, 4-3:
Khabibulin has
problems late in the third. He
is probably drunk.

Sharks beat the BJs, 6-3:
Heatley got the trick.
Joe had four assists. The Sharks
need the same in May.

Senators beat the Islanders in OT, 3-2:
Okposo had a
sweet goal. Pascal Leclaire's pads are sweet.
Does anyone care?

Penguins beat the Flyers, 5-4:
Would you really be
surprised if Hartnell does like
the taste of humans?

Rangers beat the Capitals, 4-3:
After Henrik's brain
fart, Gabby scores. When will his
groin finally break?

Thrashers win over the Blues, 4-2:
The commentator
call Tkachuk, "Big Walt." That's the
Best. Nickname. Ever.

Red Wings beat the Hawks, 3-2:
This game wasn't close
to being sold out. Detroit
has mad problems, yo.

Devils beat the Lightning in the shoot-out, 4-3:
Stamkos will not have
a sophmore slump. His release
is "lightning" fast. HA!

Predators beat the Avalanche, 3-2:
Nashville has a real
sneaky home-ice advantage.
Duchene is mad fast.

Sabres win over the Coyotes, 2-1:
Is there anyone
outside of Buffalo that
cared about this game?

Ducks beat the Bruins, 7-1:
"Perry scored off his
head. Boston sucks,"says Nemmy
in text from last night.

Kings win over the Wild, 6-3:
So far this season,
the Kings get big leads, then lose
them, but win the game.

What you missed last night while you were learning to sweep the leg

Its high-light of the night... day:

Canadiens beat the Thrashers, 6-3: Tanguay's night - 2 goals and three assists. He did have some sweet sauce passes, but his first goal was patience, hands, and a little bit of luck. He deked by 2 sliding Thrashers d-men, and another sort of took out goaltender Kari Lehtonen. Still, he had to control the puck in tight and tuck it far side.

Canucks beat the Stars, 5-2: The 2nd period - Ott was sent to the box for something and his time ran out just as Canuck D-man Kevin Bieska was rushing up the ice with the puck. A well timed hip check from Ott led to a skirmash. After that, Darcy Hordichuk put a pretty good body on Marty Turco and Trevor Daly decked him. Finally, late in the period Ott got laid out on an after the whistle hit by Willie Mitchell. I expected this all to escalate in the third, but the Canucks scored and ran away with the game. Did anyone else see the talent behind Dave Tippet? WOW

Maple Leafs beat the Capitals in the shoot-out, 3-2: Ovy's 51st - Recipe Ovechkin. Take the nice saucer pass down the wing. Cut in with speed (no one can catch you). Beat the goalie. Tuck in puck on the wide side.

Rangers win over the Wild, 2-1: Zherdev's goal - He had no angle and had to get it upstairs. One sitck handle and then the puck finds the little bit of available twine. Pretty play in an ugly game.

Ducks beat the Predators, in the shoot-out, 2-1: Shea Weber's game tying goal: Weber is a right-handed defensemen, playing the right side. He time his cut perfectly and recieved the pass in between the top of the circle and the dot and some how one timed the puck to the far side. That is difficult. I've only seen a few other super shots like that beating a goal wide, when you are on your strong side. If you play hockey, I'm pretty sure you get what I'm saying.

Red Wings beat the Oilers, 3-2: Hossa's GWG: The finish was nice a one-timer wrister that beat Rolosson low, but it was Franzen's work in the neutral zone and pass that made the play happen.

Lightning win over the BJs in OT, 2-1: St. Louis' GWG: Great pass from Stamkos through the neutral zone to a speeding St. Louis started the play. Now, Marty is cutting across opens up for the snap shot, but a tricky release fools Mason and he is beaten back on the far side. It defined sneaky.

Blues beat the Kings, 2-0: No highlight worth typing

What you missed last night because you were visiting The Rock for the first time

Last night was my first visit to the Prudential Center, the Devils new home arena. That place is gorgeous. I don't know how I'll ever be able to go back to the Coliseum. Everything is awesome, except for one weird mural where there no heads on the players.



Islanders beat the Canadiens in OT, 3-2:
Okposo will be
playing for USA in
World Championships

Flames beat the Red Wings in the shoot-out, 6-5:
Quite a game. First the
Flames come back and take the lead,
but the Wings don't die.

Devils beat the Coyotes, 5-2:
Parise got goal
number 40. Marty is
one win from Roy's mark.

Thrashers beat the Oilers in OT, 4-3:
Here's the game winner:
It was a hail mary flip pass
tipped to breakaway

Bruins beat the Senators, 5-3:
I love slap shot goals
on breakaways. I also
love glove high snipes, Phil.

Lightning win over the Maple Leafs, 4-1:
Stamkos seems to have
developed great chemistry
with Marty. Don't trade?

Capitals win over the Flyers, 2-1:
Ovechkins stats were:
One game winner, one assist
and EIGHT freaking hits!

Rangers beat the Predators, 4-2:
Guess what everyone?
The Rangers are on TV,
AGAIN, fucking great.

Avalanche beat the Wild in the shoot-out, 2-1:
The Wild play great games
against great teams and shitty
games versus bad ones.

Blues beat the Sharks, 3-1:
On my men's league bench
someone said the Blues were the
hottest team in league.

BJs beat the Penguins in the shoot-out, 4-3:
Great comeback by the
Penguins to get at least a
point. Mason stood tall.

Stars beat the Hurricanes, 3-2:
Carolina was
hot until they lost to the
coldest team - Dallas.

Sabres win over the Panthers, 3-1:
The Sabres have no
leadership. I don't like them.
Vokoun robbed Vanek.

What you missed last night while you were resting your sprained ankle

In honor of "Brian Burke" being outed on twitter, all recaps will be 140 characters or less.

Flames beat the Blue Jackets, 4-1: when Iginla and Cammalleri both score the Flames are probably unbeatable

Canadiens shut-out the Canucks, 3-0: not only did Halak get the shut-out, he also should get credit for starting a goalie controversy reminiscent of any flyers team

Oiler beat the Lightning, 5-3: Stamkos' snipe was really really nice. Also I hope Vinny isn't hurt after taking that shot off the ankle.

Senators win over the Hurricanes, 4-2: Spezza must have taught Comrie the ol' fake slap shot down the wing freeze the goalie go wide and score move

Flyers beat the Capitals, 4-2: Carter had a goal and an assist, but he really had two assists if you count the pass he put on Ovy's tape in the first

Kings beat the Wild in the shoot-out, 2-1: not a real deserving win as the kings goal went in off a Wild player and then Doughty lost the puck five-hole in the shoot-out

Ducks beat the Sabres, 3-2: Even though the promos said otherwise, Ryan Miller did not play

Bruins win over the Panthers, 6-1: Byron Bitz... what a name!

Thrashers beat the Avalanche, 4-3: 2 of the 3 worst teams in the league in an empty arena. on ice that was ruined by the circus. no i did not watch

Blues beat the Coyotes, 2-1: Holy crap there were so many games on last night

Predators beat the Hawks, 5-3: is this the last one?

What you missed last night because you got drunk and fell asleep

Canucks beat the Flames in the shoot-out, 4-3: Did anyone see Pavol Demitra's shoot out goal? It was like Kipper was a street hockey goalie. It also reminded me of Roman Checkmanek.

Sharks beat the Oilers, 4-2: Patrick Marleau leads by example. Stick down hard to the net.Boom. Score a goal.

Avalanche beat the Senators in OT, 3-2: Both awful teams. Both with poor goaltending.

Sabres win over the Maple Leafs, 4-1: Everytime the Leafs call up Justin Pogge, they get killed. I was going to blame the defense, but time after time after time, maybe Pogge ain't a savior.

Blackhawks beat the Lightning, 5-3: Steve Stamkos gets his first hat trick and can't even enjoy it. Also, how bad is the crowd in Tampa? I couldn't even tell if this was a Lightning home game or not.

Bruins beat the Hurricanes. 5-1: There is no way 3 teams are making the playoffs from the SE, so enjoy your golf season, Hurricanes.

Panthers shut-out the Devils, 4-0: I didn't see that coming. Perfect time for Marty's return.