What you missed last night because you had money on the Dolphin game

Scotty and I don't know how to write a haiku so we need to do something different this week. Instead of the regular recaps we're going to give a quick and appropriate response if by chance a coworker comes up to your desk talk about the game.

Q: Did you see the Canes came back to beat the Leafs 6-5 in the shootout?
A: Holy shit what a game! By the time Tim Gleason scored his 2nd of the night I was already on my 4th diaper.

Side note: Lee Stempniak's goal was everything that's good in this world.



Q: Did you see that Boston held off Atlanta 4-3 last night?
A: It was good to see Ryder get it going and Bergeron's SO move shook Scotty off his bar stool.



Q: How about Nashville beating Jersey 3-2 in the shootout?
A: That game was basically Parise vs. Arnott. Why can't we get any Nashville games in HD?

Side note: Scotty, how about the fact that Erat got the winner? Martin Erat.

Q: Did you see the beating Pittsburgh took? They lost to Ottawa last night 6-2.
A: Rough 3rd period for the Pens but how about Chris Neil? He is officially the 2009 beastmaster. Who else stands in there like that??????



Q: How about St. Louis beating the Coyotes in OT?
A: Tkachuk's goal was scary. When he goes to net like that it's like standing in traffic at the Port Authority. Johnson's OT winner was very Brian Leetch. Very Brian Leetch.



Q: Did you see the BJs beatup on the Stars 4-1?
A: Turco was terrible last night but didn't get much help. Huselius with a shorty and a PPG - HEAVY BIKE.

Q: Chicago whooped the Flames 7-1. Blowout in Calgary huh?
A: Last night we were talking about how Jokinen needs to pick up the scoring pace. He had a PPG last night. Let's see who else gets into a shouting match in Calgary.

Q: I heard the Ducks won 4-3 in OT vs. Tampa Bay.
A: For the Ducks to make up for their shit goaltending they need games like this where Getzlaf, Ryan, Selanne and Niedemayer all contribute. Stamkos is the real deal. Sophomore heavy bike.

- Nemmy

Happy Friday

I'm just going to see where this one takes me.

I know many people are against the shootout to determine regular season winners. BUT if you spent money to go watch the Boston Bruins and Florida Panthers battle to a 0-0tie at the end of regulation I think you deserve to see a little show at the end. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy defensive battles and scoring chances and goalie duels. But to think that some parent spent $200+ bucks to take their kids to an ice hockey game without Savvy and Black Booth and didn't see one tally makes the shootout okay with me.

So my boss and I were partners in a company-sponsored beer pong tourney for all the credit trading guys. Everyone else was in suits and ties at Down the Hatch - yeah. Negative 1,000. Anyways since they made us partner up and sign up we thought there would be a structure and brackets and maybe a trophy. Wrong! We might as well have been drinking in Somalia. So my boss and I dominate and lose one game to 2 guys who didn't use the whole pitcher to fill their cups. I'm still salty about it. Here's my point/question:

We were down 2 cups to 1 at our final game and my boss and I go back to back hitting the final 2 cups. Now the team across from us had one cup to hit and they took their turn and one hit the final cup thinking they forced OT. Shouldn't we have gotten something for hitting back to back on the final 2 cups? I thought we should have gone again because we brought it back and if we hit a cup it would have been a walk off. It really doesn't matter because we were ossified and looking to go home. Don't get me started on people leaning over the table. If your tie is in your beer you need to step back. Why are you still wearing a tie????

Chris Neil has 60 PIM already. With some luck he'll go 250+ this season. That's why I have him on my fantasy roster. Look at his steak head. He wants to fight your mother. Every roster needs a PIM machine like Neil. You know what the difference between you and Chris Neil is? If Neil was in your seat he'd have a casein/whey mix in in that file cabinet. He wouldn't be excited for the premiere of Lopez Tonight and he wouldn't be wasting his day reading shitty hockey blogs.

I just got this email from my fiance:

"i just remembered that i really liked this song in high school. do you still want to marry me?"


Yikes

Scotty told me that the rumor floating around is that Kovy, Ovy, Gonchar, Malkin, etc. are all taking their time with injuries because they are saving themselves for Vancouver 2010. I'm sure there's nothing to it but the fact that team Russia may be up to shady ish makes this rumor awesome.

I was going to make a big deal that 2Man buddy, Vinny Bruiser picked up Jeff "the Truth" Tambellini in our fantasy league because the truth is a 2Man favorite. Vinny dropped him 4 hours after picking him up.

Who will be the first NHLer with a leaked sex tape?

92.3 used to be an awesome station in the New York area. They used to play rock music and have Howard Stern in the morning. Now it's top 40 no guitar Long Island girls with platform sandals BarNone bouncers and guys with gel drinking Corona shit. I'm at the gym from 8-9:30 a few days a week and some guy named Chunky on "92.3 Now" plays the same shit over and over. I'm sure Chunky is a good guy but every time I hear the Black Eyed Peas and Britney Spears back to back I want to break my face open.

So this kid DuckDude8 has a ton of videos on youtube where he's scoring on some goalie that is probably his little brother. The video is short and there's not much going on but I love how the goalie gets beat and stays on the ground the whole time.



Look at our current goalie options for Vancouver:
Ryan Miller leading in Save % and GAA. Timmy Thomas is tied for the lead in shutouts and Craig Anderson is tied for the lead in wins. Anderson is making everyone forget about John Quick.

Can someone explain that bear pong issue to me?

- Nemmy

Crib Notes - Ottawa Senators

Ottawa Senators
Finished 4th in the Northeast. Did not make the playoffs
Signed Alexei Kovalev via free agency
Signed Martin St. Pierre - the guy who uses the Chara-sized stick
Resigned Brian Elliott and muscle Chris Neil
Traded unhappy Dany Heatley and a 5th round pick to San Jose for Jonathan Cheechoo, Milan Michalek and a 2nd rounder.
Grizzled dman Jason Smith retired before training camp

Questions going into 2009-2010:
Did the team do enough to replace Heatley's 50 goal potential?
How much will an unhappy teammate's absence help team spirit?
Can Pascal Leclaire regain that 2007-08 mojo?
Is his ankle healed?
Is he even good enough to be a #1 goaltender?
Did anyone else look at this roster and see goaltender M. Broudeur and do a double take?
Can the Senators rely on 36 year old Alex Kovalev to carry a big offensive burden?
When your top Dmen are Chris Phillips and Anton Volchenkov are your team in huge trouble?
Is a change of scenery and some time with Jason Spezza enough to make Cheecho start scoring again?
Is it unrealistic to expect him to get near 56 goals again? 37 goals again?
Has Cory Clouston lost the lockerroom already?

Poised for a breakout season:
Tough call here. I'm not sure any player will really breakout this season but I'm rooting for Chris Campoli to make the leap.



If you had to buy one Senators sweater:
If are reading this crib note, for this team, on this blog then you are a big enough steakhead to pull off wearing a Chris Neil in public.
Just make sure it's not the terrible "Sens" 3rd jersey.

Player whose game you sneaky like:
Jarkko Ruutu, like many annoying players, would be a fan favorite on any team.

I'll look for any excuse to show this video:
The time we crashed Ryan Shannon's Cup party.

Old guys:
Daniel Alfredsson and Alex Kovalev are 36
Shean Donovan and Jarkko Ruutu are 34

Young guys:
Nick Foligno is 21
Brian Lee is 22
Erik Karlsson (last year's 1st Round pick) is 19

Tough guys:
Chris Neil and Cody Bass provide the muscle. That's pretty much it.

Favorite old school Senator:
Tie: Bob Kudelski and Robert Byrd



Goaltending coach:
Eli Wilson

What I had for lunch today:
Italian Combo on white bread

Nostalgia:
A picture of Alexei Yashin wearing the turtle neck off the ice.


Interesting?:
Assistant GM Tim Murray is the nephew of GM Bryan Murray.

NHL 94 players:
Bob Kudelski, Sylvain Turgeon, Jamie Baker up front.
Norm Maciver, Brad Shaw on D with Peter Sidorkiewicz in net - warm up the bus.

YouTube:
There was no way I was getting through this preview without a Carrie Underwood mention.


- Nemmy