What you missed last night while you helped out the girl across the hall who got locked out her apartment

Senators beat the Sabres, 4-2: The Senators are playing very well and their best players are lighting it up. Spezza scored 2 ridiculous goals. The first was short side on barely any release and the second was sick shot to the top corner. And Alfie scored the other 2. Meanwhile, Brian Elliot is coming into form nicely. Ottawa has escaped that clusterfuck of teams all battling for the 3 play-off spots.

Flames beat the Hurricanes, 4-1: Eric Staal got his face beaten up this game - a high stick and then his own man's skate after Mark Giordano dumped the cane into the bench. If Curtis Glenncross scores a hat trick, you should be winning.

Oilers shut-out the Flyers, 1-0: Oilers scored with 16 seconds left - heartbreaking. Also, because the Flyers had like 17 on-the-doorstep opportunities that they missed.

Blues beat the Hawks, 3-2: The Hawks goal were beauties. Kane went top shelf on the backhand on a breakaway and the pass from Toews to Hossa for the 2nd was pure filth.

Ducks beat the Wings, 3-1: Who's the starter and who's the back up in Detroit?

What you missed last night while you were making sure all your relatives in Haiti were safe

Hurricanes beat the Leafs, 4-2: Eric Staal scored a sweet backhand five-hole goal. Where have you been all season? Nikolei Kulemein scored the goal of the game cutting between, maybe 3, Canes defenders and beating Cam Ward.

Predators beat the Oilers, 5-3: All the Oilers have to do for the rest of the season is get rid of cap hits (Souray) and decide whether to draft, Hall, Seguin, or Fowler. (When in doubt take the western canadien kid).

Thrashers beat the Senators, 6-1: Somehow, Ottawa is still in play-off contention. The only game I remember them winning is when Kovalev had 4 goals.

Sharks beat the Coyotes, 3-1: Marleau is stil the man in San Jose.

Islanders shut-out the Red Wings, 6-0: As an Islanders fan, that was fun to watch.

Devils shut-out and beat the Rangers in the shoot-out, 2-1: A lot of olympians were involved in this game. And then there was the shoot-out - just like the olympics! None of the Americans could score on the Swede, but the Czech did.

Lightning roll over the Capitals, 7-4: Downie and Ovechkin wanted to fight. Both took off there helmets because they wear half-shields and then Matt Bradley came in and ruined everything. I get it, you don't want your best scorer hurting his hands, but come on, he's the captain. Let him fight.

Flyers beat the Stars, 6-3: Turco sucks.

Blues beat the BJs, 4-1: Good game, good fights.

Crib Notes - Carolina Hurricanes

Carolina Hurricanes
Finished 2nd in the Southeast. Beat NJ and BOS in 7 games a piece. Swept by PIT in the conference finals.
Signed F Tom Kostopoulos and D Andrew Alberts via free agency
Signed veteran C Stephane Yelle vie free agency
Traded Pat Eaves for steady D and all-around great person Aaron Ward
Resigned Chad LaRose and Erik Cole
Bought out Frank Kaberle, let Anton Babchuk and Dennis Sidenberg go unsigned

Questions going into 2009-2010:
Isn't this the same team from last season?
If Cam Ward is healthy should we pencil them into the conference finals again?
What happens is Cam Ward goes down? (You can say the same for every team losing a starting G but there is almost nothing behind Ward in the lineup)
Will Eric Staal get to 50 this season?
Does anyone care that Versus won't show a Hurricanes game on tv this season?
Will any fantasy owners get fooled into giving Serg Samsonov a roster spot after his 32 helpers last season?

Poised for a breakout season:
Matt Cullen was solid last season. I'm not sure he has a "breakout" season this year but he'll make a case for himself.

If you had to buy one Canes sweater:
A Brind'Amour jersey would be the way to go but I can't advocate anyone going out to buy a Hurricane sweater. This might be the worst jersey in the league.

Player whose game you like:
You have to respect Cam Ward's game. Big time goalie, great playoff beard and he gives you a chance to win games every time he's out.

Player whose game you despise:
Scott Walker. He can suck my ass.

Best thing about last night:
Tie: Larry Tynes and his GW field goal and Blake Lively's breasts

Old guys:
Rod the Bod is 39
Ray Whitney is 37
Aaron Ward is 36

Young guys:
Eric Staal is 24. Hasn't he been in the league for 10 years?

Tough guys:
Tim Gleason isn't the greatest fighter but is willing.
Scott Walker punches people in the face but isn't necessarily a fighter.

Favorite old school Hurricane:
Let's go all the way back to Whaler legend Kevin Dineen.
Cue the music!

Good idea for a goalie pads design from a member of the Hurricane Storm Squad:

Ashley - I think I would design a lovely plexiglass box that had holes for my arms and legs to poke out of, kind of like Sponge Bob Square Pants. I would also have a snorkel-like contraption so I could breathe. This design would keep me safe from the pucks, and I think the fans would enjoy the new look. The only flaw in my design would be if I fall over, someone would have to come pick me up, like when a turtle gets stuck on its back.

Better answer:

Maggie - Pads are for wimps.

Interesting thought from a Storm Crew member:
The Hurricanes just got a new alternative jersey. If you had the opportunity to design an alternative jersey for the Eye Care Associates Storm Squad, what would it look like?

Anna - If I could design an alternative jersey I would definitely put our nicknames on the uniform. That way all the fans could get an idea of everyone’s personality!

Maybe too XFL for purists but this could work.


Goaltending coach:
Tom Barrasso

The case for Sean Burke being wildly underrated:
324 career wins, over .900 save percentage on some really terrible teams during his 22 year career.

Nostalgia:
Former Cane Bret Hedican recently hung up his skates.

Interesting?:
Ray Whitney was an Edmonton Oiler stick boy along with his brother Dean and Ryan Smyth.

NHL 94 players:
Pat Verbeek Geoff Sanderson and Andrew Cassels up front.
Zarley Zalapski and Eric Weinrich on D with Sean Burke
Remember Robert Kron?

Prediction?
Ron Francis gets names head coach halfway through the season during a rough patch.

YouTube:
One of my most painful recent memories. Why couldn't this have been anyone but Scott Walker?



- Nemmy

What you missed last night while you were trying to catch up on Lost-season 3 in one night

Penguins beat the Hurricanes, 4-1 (PIT wins series 4-0): I thought Eric Staal's opening goal wrap around was awesome. Full power/reach sweep. But that was it for the Hurricanes. Yea, they had some more pressure, but the Penguins were almost surgical in the win. Things might go wrong, but they successfully complete the operation. As soon as that 2-on-1 developed with Sid and Black, you knew the puck would be in the net. I loved how Sid grabbed the Prince of Wales Trophy, and then explained that he didn't touch it last year and look how that worked out. Just awesome. Lets get the rematch!

What you missed last night because your girlfriend was controlling the remote

Penguins beat the Hurricanes 3-2, (lead series 1-0): This game might have a different result if Rod the Bod doesn't pass puck so darn hard. It hurt li'l Eric's hands and he couldn't put that sweet pass in an open net. Actually there were a lot of opportunities for the Canes to score, but MAF played really really well.

What you missed last night because you were at the ER until 4:30 AM

More on the 2Man's adventure to the emergency room in the next post.

Washington 2, Pittsburgh 3 (OT)
What a game! I think Malkin shut up a good number of people who were complaining about his output in the first two games of this series. The guy took control of Game 3. The game started with Ovy putting home a loose puck after a strange carom off of a dump in that fooled MAF. Tenk scored next with a little AND-1 playground move where he got the puck right back to his stick after trying to nutmeg the D in front of him. My girlfriend thinks he scored that way on purpose. Yeah, in your bra! Malkin scored a PPG the in 3rd by muscling a wrister over Varlamov's shoulder. Billy Black Guerin was parked in front of the net screening the bejeebus out of the rookie goalie. Nice veteran snake on that play. The Igloo went nuts and I thought the game was over until Backstrom, Ovy and Semin connected late in the 3rd to send it to OT. Amazingness.

In the OT Kris Letang put a pool shot past Varlamov to end things. What a series.

Boston 2, Carolina 3 (OT)
This one hurts to talk about. Carolina owned the 2nd period with Staal scoring on the PP off of a broken play and fucking Samsonov has to go and just ruin my night like 2 seconds later. The interference call on Ryder to set up the Staal goal was some real horseshit. Savard's penalty was dumb as hell but credit Cam Ward for setting that one up. I can't even get into this game. It's like falling in love with the girl of your dreams then finding out that she once spent a weekend with Lenny Kravitz. I don't even recognize this Bruins team right now. They kinda look like my favorite team that controlled the tempo and played disciplined hockey but they just smell like incense, sweat and sing ridiculous lyrics like "We've got to stand up if we're gonna be free YEAH"

Next game is Friday so help me God.

-Nemmy

Seriously at this point....

First off...hats off to a godly Monday night game from the two superstars of the NHL. Caps off to the both of them. Steckel was the difference. Nice goal by him though too! To be honest I really don't understand how OVY drills those shots right in the zone from way out. Puts it on the net hard with that natural Russian Force. It's really quite remarkable...Federov hesitation, Kozlov banging his stick he wants it, even though it's a tight fit...grabs it and slaps it over to OVY and BANG! Than the 4th goal with the swerve in at the line, get the d's feet moving the other way along with Fleury looking the other way than Ovy, toewy snap, hop right, toewy in wrister wide jesus christ! Fleury was like, "Really?" Than the best part of the whole game. 1000!


You can't see it clearly here but you can see the makes of it. Right after he scores, OVY jumps so hard and far into the boards that I thought they were going to shatter all over those poor caps fans. One day...seriously, mark my words in his career, he will smash the glass, and I just hope no one including him gets hurt. So much energy is Alex Ovechkin.

The 2man is in a playoff fantasy grouping in which you choose a line from the east and one from the west. From the east, we have Thomas in net with Green and Gonchar at the points and Crosby, Staal and Ovy up front. We got like 10 points from that game alone last night. Just juicing. Out of the west we went with Bobby Lu in net, Lidstrom and Niedermayer at the point and Getzlaf, Franzen and Zetterberg up front. We were torn between Staal and Savard and we basically flipped a coin if you will but I think Staal is scrapping this playoff and will take this to at least 6 games so he serves as a beautiful hedge against Bruin drought as we saw in game 2. He pumped out a goal and an assist so call Staal your ultrashort. For example while long a certain number of us equities, I am long a little TWM and SDS which go up when the market moves down. Don't ask me why these things exist. Don't ask m e why Nemy won't watch a Bruins game with us. Don't ask me why Sue Sung is in fact Sue Sung. Just listen to Billy and get pumped for Tuesday nights games.


Why is it still raining in New York? I feel like I'm with Frasier in Seattle.

And dude if your going to swing your stick in anger please watch your goalie.

- Scotty

The Final 4... series that is

Bruins vs Hurricanes:

• Besides the Rangers, this is the best match-up the Bruins could have asked for. Cam Ward might be able to steal a game, but Eric Staal is going to face Zdeno Chara every freaking game, so who knows how much Carolina will be able to score.
• Bruins in 6

Capitals vs Penguins:

• The only guarantee besides Pierre Maguire creaming himself while being between these benches is that you will see some great hockey.
• The key to this series is Simeon Varlamav - Is he to dumb to realize where he is or will the pressure get to him. Caps fans, if you see Theodore in net, the series is over.
• Penguins in 7

Red Wings vs Ducks

• This series has all the makings for an upset for the Wings
• Hot goalie, physical team, and superhot scoring line on the Ducks might chase Osgood.
• I'm going to follow Scotty's logic though (I know) - In seven games can anyone beat the best?
• Red Wings in 7

Canucks vs Blackhawks

• Probably the best goaltending match up of the 4 series
• I like the youth and scoring of the Hawks over the experience and grit of the Canucks
• Blackhawks in 7

Here is the leaderboard after the 1st round (put your 2nd round picks in the comments)

Bress – 28

Cornelius– 40

Nemmy – 24

Mr. W – 22

Moe -31

Heals – 27 (swept the east)

Brando – 17

Lars – 16

Alex – 51

Mac – 24

Hark -31

What you missed last night because you were still at work (only valid for west coasters)

Hurricanes comeback and beat the Devils, 4-3 (CAR wins series 4-3): Both the first goal of the game and the final goal were eerily similar. Maybe both times Brodeur got screened by his defenseman, maybe the shots got slightly deflected. In any case you expect the all-time wins leader to make at least one of those saves. This great game did not get as much attention as the other game7, but there were some terrific passes:
- Parise's look to Langenbruner for the Devils first goal
- Gionta's wrist shot of a pass cross ice and off the board for Rolston to one-time for the Devils third goal
-The pass to Pandolfo, who perfectly deflected it on his backhand for the Devils second goal
- Joni Pitkanen's cross zone pass to Jussi Jokinen for the one-timer to tie the game up.
Carolina has a lot to handle in a well-rested Bruins team in round 2. I'll get to my predictions and the leaders of the2Man play-off game later today.


Capitals beat the Rangers, 2-1 (WAS wins series 4-3): With that game-winning goal, Sergei Federov will recieve an honory PhD from Snipe City U. It don't know if its more or less impressive that he didn't really look up when he shot. Did he just know where he was on the ice and no the spot to put the puck?
Caps and Penguins in round 2, expect these games on NBC.

The Writ of Habeus Corpus

So the 2man head to head league is heading into the homestretch in the final matchup with Bradly's team edging a slight advantage. I spoke with his opponent, team Spin-O-Rama and Trefo is upset over Bradly's consistent add/drop during the gentlemens weak of the finals. Me and Tanella laughed because he has no idea who he is up against. It is close, being tied through the first week and 6-5 currently going into the last weekend. Good luck to the both of you clowns.
In the video game parlor, the Spartans continue their seige on the league. 15-0. Mikey Heals has 8 shutouts and a 4 game streak going right now. Wendel has edged in points with 68 in 15 games with Bradly trailing by 5 or so. Nemy is leading the D pairing in points but Barbonus is crushing people. The best part is watching the computer try and even things out intra-division. Allow me to elaborate. I am in the southeast division so the computer sees my ranking based on the 5 starting players and how we have not lost. By the way to fill the roster, the rest of my team are players from the Japanese national squad. The computer gets frustrated and tries to cheat by stacking the other rosters in the southeast, which I don't mind because it fosters equality and competition. However, Carolina is running Ovy, Crosby, Datsyuk, Nash, Staal and Ray Whitney and couldn't even get a goal on Heals. We had a home and home with them yesterday and they grabbed a cloned version of Wendel to center the first line. Taking him fromt he free agent list, not obeying the laws of reality just in desperation. Our team is unstoppable. The king and his court. THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!!

I really think Detroit will win the cup. 7 games...no one beats that team. Barring poopyshawn from Osgood which may very well happen. Conklin isn't too bad either, so there isn't TOO bad of a last option for them.

After watching the Rangers game yesterday, I have decided that Montreal is neagtive. Not flat, negative. And Sean Avery is a major positive for New York when he plays like he can and did. Nemy kinda liked the move on Tim Thomas but thats just silly too me. If anything say stuff to him like Paul Newman did in Slapshot. She's a dike.....I know! I know! That's good stuff. I can't wait to see Thomas in net for the U.S. next winter. Nemy won't live it down that I built up a massive short position in Thomas a few years back only to cover for a murderous loss late last season. I made back a little of the loss going long T. Thomas this season. Accept the loss and move on. He plays a tight game. I enjoy tight and succinct.

Does everyone clearly remember Al Iafrate's hair? I mean really?
Just refresh yourselves.

Sometime the shark go away....sometime he wouldn't go away.
Get some...have some cuz its awesome. The island of what? Which ever it is, thats where you can find me and Nemy on Friday afternoon with a bottle of Sark. It's like the island of Tinney and Delahee.

This is a picture of OVY just juicing. We were discussing who is the best (equipment wise) looking player in the league. Who do you think? Is it boaty Tkachuk or Andrew Cuomo?

Remember to get that glow this weekend and explode when necessary.

- Zell

Weekend Wrap Up OR Who didn't have a hat-trick?

A quick rundown of players that had a hat-tricks this weekend:

Ray Whitney - I loved all 3 of his goals, the great pass on this one...



But the walk in slapper top shelf. It doesn't get better than that


Eric Staal - the very next night! and he had 4. But in a 9-3 win, you don't get the video highlights

Sean Bergenhiem - 2 against Brodeur and 1 (the prettiest) against an empty net

Rick Nash - All unassisted

David Booth - Just got it done.


Some more questions about the past weekend?

How bad was Calgary this weekend?
Gave up 11 total goals to Atlanta and Carolina and only scored 3. 2 of those were from Iggy.

Will Scotty's little brother be in love with Bobby Ryan the way Scotty loves Mikey Mo?


Is this the nicest saucer pass you've ever seen?


I wish they showed the end-zone view.


Does Pierre Maguire fawn over everything?


How Guerin doing in Pitt?
Pretty darn well. He and Crosby have some chemistry:

And old-school billy black showed up as well:


This isn't a question, but Steve Ott is awesome. The Stars lost in spite of him yesterday. He drew 3 penalties... in the first period alone. And lets not forget about the offensive skills he has (from Fridays game):

AND



So, what did I forget?

-Bress