What you missed last night because it was the first seder

I watched NHL on the Fly: Final this morning. I don't understand when they have game highlights, but without commentary. And why did they have the radio guy only for the Panthers game. At least I got to hear some of his awesome pop-culture goal calls.

Hurricanes beat the Thrashers, 4-1: In short, Cam Ward is back and played well.

Sabres beat the Bruins, 3-2: Its a good thing Nemmy is on vacation.

Predators beat the Panthers in OT, 3-2: Randy Moller called one goal by saying, "but look at his hair!" I don't get it either.

Ducks beat the Stars, 3-1: Selanne got a cool plaque for goal 600.

Wild beat the Kings, 3-2: That sound you hear is everyone jumping off the Kings bandwagon.

What you missed last night while you were coming up with bad top 10 lists

Penguins beat the Hurricanes in the shoot-out 3-2: 2 best young goalies in the NHL + 2 fast, skilled teams = GREAT hockey game. This highlight sums it up:


Rangers beat the Kings, 4-2: Are these really the 2 hottest teams in the NHL right now? I smell a conspiracy - NY and LA, come on! It was an entertaining game. Gabby scored with his patented no-release snipe. Lundqvist is the Ranger's D.

Blackhawks beat the Oilers, 4-3: Khabibulin played well against his old teammates, but just couldn't get it done. Chicago's offense is a well-oiled machine. When they aren't scoring pretty goals, they get gritty a la Jack Skille's goal.

Stars shut-out the Predators, 6-0: Marty Turco uses the 2 pad slide very liberally.

Ducks beat the Wild, 3-2: Corey Perry scored 2 really really nice goals. The backhand, reachback move on his first was great invention. The snipe for goal 2 is just really really good skill.

Crib Notes - Carolina Hurricanes

Carolina Hurricanes
Finished 2nd in the Southeast. Beat NJ and BOS in 7 games a piece. Swept by PIT in the conference finals.
Signed F Tom Kostopoulos and D Andrew Alberts via free agency
Signed veteran C Stephane Yelle vie free agency
Traded Pat Eaves for steady D and all-around great person Aaron Ward
Resigned Chad LaRose and Erik Cole
Bought out Frank Kaberle, let Anton Babchuk and Dennis Sidenberg go unsigned

Questions going into 2009-2010:
Isn't this the same team from last season?
If Cam Ward is healthy should we pencil them into the conference finals again?
What happens is Cam Ward goes down? (You can say the same for every team losing a starting G but there is almost nothing behind Ward in the lineup)
Will Eric Staal get to 50 this season?
Does anyone care that Versus won't show a Hurricanes game on tv this season?
Will any fantasy owners get fooled into giving Serg Samsonov a roster spot after his 32 helpers last season?

Poised for a breakout season:
Matt Cullen was solid last season. I'm not sure he has a "breakout" season this year but he'll make a case for himself.

If you had to buy one Canes sweater:
A Brind'Amour jersey would be the way to go but I can't advocate anyone going out to buy a Hurricane sweater. This might be the worst jersey in the league.

Player whose game you like:
You have to respect Cam Ward's game. Big time goalie, great playoff beard and he gives you a chance to win games every time he's out.

Player whose game you despise:
Scott Walker. He can suck my ass.

Best thing about last night:
Tie: Larry Tynes and his GW field goal and Blake Lively's breasts

Old guys:
Rod the Bod is 39
Ray Whitney is 37
Aaron Ward is 36

Young guys:
Eric Staal is 24. Hasn't he been in the league for 10 years?

Tough guys:
Tim Gleason isn't the greatest fighter but is willing.
Scott Walker punches people in the face but isn't necessarily a fighter.

Favorite old school Hurricane:
Let's go all the way back to Whaler legend Kevin Dineen.
Cue the music!

Good idea for a goalie pads design from a member of the Hurricane Storm Squad:

Ashley - I think I would design a lovely plexiglass box that had holes for my arms and legs to poke out of, kind of like Sponge Bob Square Pants. I would also have a snorkel-like contraption so I could breathe. This design would keep me safe from the pucks, and I think the fans would enjoy the new look. The only flaw in my design would be if I fall over, someone would have to come pick me up, like when a turtle gets stuck on its back.

Better answer:

Maggie - Pads are for wimps.

Interesting thought from a Storm Crew member:
The Hurricanes just got a new alternative jersey. If you had the opportunity to design an alternative jersey for the Eye Care Associates Storm Squad, what would it look like?

Anna - If I could design an alternative jersey I would definitely put our nicknames on the uniform. That way all the fans could get an idea of everyone’s personality!

Maybe too XFL for purists but this could work.


Goaltending coach:
Tom Barrasso

The case for Sean Burke being wildly underrated:
324 career wins, over .900 save percentage on some really terrible teams during his 22 year career.

Nostalgia:
Former Cane Bret Hedican recently hung up his skates.

Interesting?:
Ray Whitney was an Edmonton Oiler stick boy along with his brother Dean and Ryan Smyth.

NHL 94 players:
Pat Verbeek Geoff Sanderson and Andrew Cassels up front.
Zarley Zalapski and Eric Weinrich on D with Sean Burke
Remember Robert Kron?

Prediction?
Ron Francis gets names head coach halfway through the season during a rough patch.

YouTube:
One of my most painful recent memories. Why couldn't this have been anyone but Scott Walker?



- Nemmy

Final 4... teams that is

Penguins vs Hurricanes

I hate the Hurricanes for winning that series and ruining what would have been a salty match up. The Hurricanes were awful for most of the year and got hot at the right time to make the playoffs. But do the right thing (like the Ducks did) and bow out after round 2. Their only hope is for Cam Ward to be hotter than an SI swimsuit cover model.

I'm taking the Pens in 6.


Red Wings vs Blackhawks

I fucking love this series the way I love the snooze button. I love this series the way I love snack packs. I love this series so much that I want to take it home to meet my parents. I love this series so much that I want to introduce Artem to its sister. Patrick Kane fucking impresses me. He's tiny, but an absolute stud. That backhand off the bar and in in game 6. Watch it from this angle-even better



I know I might be wrong, but I'm going to be rooting for them anyway, so Hawks in 7



Here are the leaders after 2 rounds. Give your picks in the comments.


Bress – 48

Cornelius– 40

Nemmy – 30

Mr. W – 27

Moe –38

Heals – 40

Brando – 35

Alex – 63

Mac – 43

Nice Work, Dick

Way to go, Nemmy. Way to praise the Bruins for their effort. You didn't jinx the team or anything. Quick angry thoughts before I go to bed and/or assault a random stranger.

- Hard to tell the difference between the promos for the MTV Steve O drug addiction melt-down special and Andrew Ference's game highlights. Rusty players shouldn't get big minutes in this game.

- Stop freaking out about Eric Staal. The stats line doesn't show the whole story. I want to eat my own hand.

- Not one tape to tape pass from Chara tonight. Not one. I'm halfway out the window.

- Cam Ward was fantastic.

- In that ridiculous Enterprise rent-a-car commercial, why does the idiot dad rent a pickup truck to get supplies from the lumber yard? GET THE LUMBER DELIVERED. Watching the Bruins try to force soft passes through the neutral zone and watching some jackass rent a truck for the sole purpose of picking up some 2x4s is making my brain itch. I wish his daughter nails him with the hammer at the end.

- Thank Jesus the Family Guy we dvr'd was funny.

- And thank goodness it didn't take them 3 overtimes to lose.

- I'm not writing about the Bruins again until the season is over.

- Nemmy

The Final 4... series that is

Bruins vs Hurricanes:

• Besides the Rangers, this is the best match-up the Bruins could have asked for. Cam Ward might be able to steal a game, but Eric Staal is going to face Zdeno Chara every freaking game, so who knows how much Carolina will be able to score.
• Bruins in 6

Capitals vs Penguins:

• The only guarantee besides Pierre Maguire creaming himself while being between these benches is that you will see some great hockey.
• The key to this series is Simeon Varlamav - Is he to dumb to realize where he is or will the pressure get to him. Caps fans, if you see Theodore in net, the series is over.
• Penguins in 7

Red Wings vs Ducks

• This series has all the makings for an upset for the Wings
• Hot goalie, physical team, and superhot scoring line on the Ducks might chase Osgood.
• I'm going to follow Scotty's logic though (I know) - In seven games can anyone beat the best?
• Red Wings in 7

Canucks vs Blackhawks

• Probably the best goaltending match up of the 4 series
• I like the youth and scoring of the Hawks over the experience and grit of the Canucks
• Blackhawks in 7

Here is the leaderboard after the 1st round (put your 2nd round picks in the comments)

Bress – 28

Cornelius– 40

Nemmy – 24

Mr. W – 22

Moe -31

Heals – 27 (swept the east)

Brando – 17

Lars – 16

Alex – 51

Mac – 24

Hark -31

What you missed last night while you were looking for sudafed you know you still have somewhere

Penguins shut-out the Flames, 2-0: It should have been 3-0, but Matt Cooke can't hit an empty net. I'm not really sure what he's doing out there anyway, protecting a lead. Malkin ran shit in this game. He was a beast, hitting, skating, etc. My favorite play was his end to end rush and when he made a move around a Calgary d-man, he high sticked him, just for good measure. Also, Pierre Maguire, described Crosby owning the end boards as "vintage" The kids 20, relax.

Hurricanes beat the Senators, 2-1: Is this the end of the Senators play-off run? Is Anton Babchuck the best-worst name in the NHL? Is Cam Ward a real goalie again? Lots of questions from this game.

Blackhawks win over the Sharks in the shoot-out, 6-5: This game was SICK. Early lead by the Hawks. Some nice goals in there. Comeback by the Sharks, capped by Jumbo Joe going hard to the net and tucking the puck somewhere. I don't think I've ever seen Joe put the shoulder down and drive to the net. Could this be a foreshadowing for the playoffs? If yes, and Joe turns up his game, the Sharks are scary.

Sabres beat the Panthers, 5-3: I feel for the Panthers. I want them to make the play-offs, but holy wow, they are playing awful the past 2 weeks. The Sabres get Miller, back so maybe they make a run.

Ducks killed the Avalanche and the Wild won big over the Islanders. Race to the bottom.

What you missed last night while you were looking for a new head coach to inspire your hair style

Hurricanes shut-out the Rangers, 2-0: The Hurricanes are the hottest team in the NHL right now. Its that simple. They are fucking fast, exploded for goals, and Cam Ward can still show that Conn Smythe form. They also probably have the sneakiest hottest fanbase in the league and definitely the hottest ice girls/cheerleaders/whatevers. As Nemmy said last night, "the talent [the girls in the stands] behind Tortorella [was] so much better than the talent in front of him." Is Joe Corvo on the 2010 US team? He's got a rocket of a one-timer and skate damn well and knows when to jump up in the play.

Senators beat the Maple Leafs, 2-1: CuJo played really well in this game. I mean acrobactic saves, saving his own ass off poor rebound control (thats my inner Maguire), but it wasn't enough. Here are some thoughts/questions about Spezza's illegal stick:

• How does having the toe in a point like that give him an advantage?
• If there is only one measurement a season or so, why even have the rule?
• Here the "toe" of Spezza's stick:

Kings beat the Canucks, 3-2: I wish I lived on the west coast and had some job/gig that ended at by 3pm. Then I could get home and watch the east coast games on the center ice package, watch the local games and not be going to bed so darn late. That. Would. Be. Awesome.