What you missed last night while you were taking in all that Le Parker Meridien has to offer

Last Friday Hockey Haikus for a while

Senators beat the Capitals, 6-5:
Semin's hat-trick goals
were all high glove snipes. Has that
been done before? Wow!

Canucks shut out the Panthers, 3-0:
Alex Burrows knows
to go to the front of the
net with his stick down.

Oilers beat the Kings in the shoot-out, 3-2:
Why was Quick resting?
He's going to have 2 weeks
of rest in B.C.

Stars beat the Flames, 3-1:
Turco leads the league
in agressive poke checks. Flames
will have the most trades.

Sharks beat the Red Wings in the shoot-out, 3-2:
Jason Williams toe-
drag and snipe were pure sauce. The
Mules release is prompt.

Bruins beat the Lightning, 5-4:
Steve Downie is the
new Claude Lemieux. No, thats
not a compliment.

Hurricanes beat the Sabres in OT, 5-4:
I feel like these two
teams have a rivalry. Why?
Did they meet in spring?

What you missed last night while you were trying to mediate the Jersey Shore-MTV salary negotiations

Canucks beat the Blues, 3-2: The Canucks start a thousand game road trip because of the Olympics soon. They are playing extremely well right now. The Canucks showed some depth, that Kesler and Raymond scored.

Stars beat the Flames in the shoot-out, 4-3: Iginla wanted to fight in the first period but Ott wouldn't oblige. Later Nystrom somehow picked a fight with Frist. And then the Flames lost again.

Lightning shut-out the Canadiens, 3-0: How did all of Victor Hedman's equipment come off?

Hurricanes beat the Rangers, 5-1: Good news for the Rangers, they scored! Bad news for the Rangers, Lundqvist is looking terrible.

Capitals beat the Ducks, 5-1: The Caps offense was flying the entire game, so Giggy actually played well for 2 periods. There were so many good goals: Ovy walking around Niedermayer, Backstrom's sick pass and then shot from Semin on the last goal.

Wild beat the Red Wings, 5-2: There were 3 goals in like 2 minutes in the 2nd period. Osgood was not looking too good last night either. Does Annti Mietinnen have a brother named Prroe?

Sabres beat the Devils in the shoot-out, 2-1: I like how in the shoot-out Americans went against Miller. However, Parise and Langenbrunner were stopped by their February teammate.

If you haven't...

Seen Alexander Semin's goal from his knees last night with no time left in the period please do so now.



Been a part of this internet ridiculousness please do so now. One of the sneakiest, greatest things I have ever seen in my life. Comedic timing and all. Please! These guys are about to move as a unit into a battle in a video game and the hilarity that ensues.


"What do you think Abdul? Can you give us a number crunch real quick?"
"Oh my god he just ran in!"

Taken Patty Bergeron's broad side shot deep into your head, please try.




Put Datsyuk, Crosby, Ovechkin, Phaneuf and Barbonus on a video game line...let it happen and don't fight it. In order to obtain my own made up player, Scotty Barbonus, whom I thought I had deleted, I had to give up Staal, Rafalski and a 1st round pick. Get some!

Seen this in your lifetime and have absolutely NOTHING on the horizon right now, I mean George Costanza had the paper he liked to read. You have to have nothing going on. Eeeery and funny with Dorn in it.



Part II


Yes I know. Never again. But I had to get it out of me. Happy Wednesday! And a happy Newmark/Ess Express Merger first game later against Goldman Sachs.

Barzell