Who do you call at that point...has to be Gretz

How ridiculous does Bridget Moynihan look here. Tha might be the sexiest photo I have ever seen. Always liked Brady's pick there.

Let's start off with some Datsyuk sneak compliments of Branis's eye.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93bpmaBmYPg&p=AEB1C2D63CFC884A&playnext=1&index=51

sorry couldn't get the embedding with my browser but watch sneaky pavel with some behind the backness, gettin the joints loosy-goosy.

So last night I saw Ovy do such a sneaky thing, that I never thought about. In the NHL as in men's league for all us idiots you can't make a change when you ice the puck. I like this rule because it forces teams to deal with a break-out or gives the other team a chance to capitalize on a tired line in their zone. Ovy stayed out for an entire powerplay last night and should have gotten off with 10 seconds left in it when they broke it out, however he did not and they got caught in their zone. They could not get it out so Ovy iced it because he was dead tired. Now in men's league when this happens, I am like shit I am so tired and now I have to deal with clearing it or breaking it out and I am so tired. Ovy used his brain and realized, hey we need some more rest so they won the next draw and Ovy iced it again to give him and the boys a bit more time to re-group. They wound up taking a penalty anyway but a smart heads up (capacity utilization move) by OV to by some rest time. Really thinking outside the box.

Artem he does look like a Russian Mig fighter jet pilot out there from Top Gun.
There was a back to back Kyle Brodziak goal situation in the Minnesota game and the San Jose box score had a back to back Joey Pavelski assists from Heater and Marlenis.

Dany Sedin keeps throwin ppg's into the kitty and Kelsey Grammar's new girlfriend already mis-carried on a child. I love that man.

Sean Bergenheim had a breakaway goal and Dp played it perfectly and than had a short-handed situation against DP that DP said no to thank god. That would be the last thing we need is a win streak stopped because Doug Weight keeps getting roasted on the powerplay blue-line and a guy that never did anything for us comes out and scores a shorthanded game winner in our eye.

If any of you have not heard about or seen the Isles finish last night in overtime. Matty Mouls-juice is just being Matty Mouls. He may have 37 goals this year. Yes I have Gloria Estefan on while I write so hold on.

The isles are......well.....ok....but please this Doug Weight thing at the point...I get it but he is just too slow to catch people that break the other way. Remember when DP bailed out Dougy when he pulled Gaborik down and gave him a penalty shot. Dp bailed him out once at least with Bergenheim last night. I mean come on now. I love Dougy but we need at least another speedy D man that can cover when this happens.

Matt Cullen is a mule deer right now. An absolute minotaur. Well maybe he's not Arnold of the NHL right now, that may go to Hossa or the Kid or Stamkos but Cullen may finally have a break out season with all those sneaky guys in Minnesota.

We added hits to our fantasy leagues this year. Really puts much more emphasis on players that previously had been discarded in the trash can or places more emphasis on bruisers like Downie and Morrow. OVY is almost unfair in a league with hits because he gets 200 hits on top of everything else he does. I thought he was going to score 20 game winners at one point this season but Boston put him and the Caps in their place. BErgeron missed an empty net short handed goal in the first game for me. Come on dude. I needed that one.

Which brings me to my final point. The Isles goal in overtime went to video review. The longest review ever. If you saw the goal...it trickled off Ellis's back and he swung his glove around and caught the puck shoving it out of the net. It never actually hit the ground but it crossed the goal line plane in mid-air. I think they were consulting the hockey grail as to whether or not this counts as crossing the line. Who should they call in the event that someone had to make that precedent right than if there wasn't one. Does it have to hit the floor or can it just cross the plane in air without touching net and be pulled out? You woudl have to theoretically call Gretz no? He would have to stamp it as the supreme court justice of the land. Right? Maybe a panel of Gretz, Mess and Yzerman with Roenick cooking food in the background adding a little say.

Stay long Clark MacT and give him a chance to fully squeeze out all short positions against him this season. Stevey Sulls was interesting but I just can't tell. I'm long a little Tommy Kopecky playing with Fuegas Hossa right now. Buy the Kesler dip and pile into the Dallas Stars this season...everyone from Lehtonen to Jamie Benn. I have Steve Downie in all three of my leagues. He is going to just add so much value to your squad this season playing with Stamkos and collecting pims like crazy. He will re-define the word Arabian for me this year.

Remember the end goal of life is to sell someone this hard at least one point.

Thats enough for now.

Barzelli

Crib Notes - Chicago Blackhawks

Chicago Blackhawks
Finished 2nd in the Central. Lost in the conf. finals to Detroit in 5 games.
Signed Marian Hossa to a 12 year deal
Signed defensive center John Madden via free agency
Resigned young forward Dave Bolland and was forced into signing Kris Versteeg
Let G Nikolai Khabibulin walk to Edmonton

Questions going into 2009-2010:
Why do people still think that the team that lands Marian Hossa is automatically the team to beat?
How will Hossa's shoulder injury affect his play? (At least he has 11 more years to heal)
Is anyone worried about salary cap restrictions when the Toews contract comes due?
Are Blackhawk fans kicking themselves for the money shelled out to Brian Campbell?
Is Cristobal Huet the answer here?
Will the team miss Adam Burish?
All jokes aside: How ridiculous was the Pat Kane/cabbie incident?

Poised for a breakout season:
I'm not sure if this guy even makes the squad but hopefully Danny Bois pronounces his name Danny Boy and lights up the league.

If you had to buy one Hawks sweater:
The Blackhawks jersey is one of the sickest in all of sports. You can't go wrong with any name on the back unless you wear a 46. Byfuglien won't fit on a 46.
If someone bought you a captain Dirk Graham would you not wear it everyday?

Player whose game you like but you could do without all the other stuff:
Adam Burish plays a nice salty game but his trash talk in last year's playoffs was a little much.

Reason why the Blackhawks are a class organization:
They resisted the dopey calls to make third jerseys with "Hawks" on the front like the Senators and Lightning have done. They know better to mess with an iconic patch.

Old guys:
John Madden is 36

Young guys:
Kane is 20
Toews is 21

Tough guys:
Ben Eager and Adam Burish fight but not very well.

Favorite old school Blackhawk:
Jeremy Roenick. Pencils down. We would have also accepted Chris Chelios but not without a fight.

Nostalgia:
Seeing guys get tossed from the old Chicago stadium and have to take the stairs off the ice.

Jersey that I'm buying Bressler for Hannukah:
Because he thought "Missundaztood" was one of the best albums of the decade along.



One time Bress actually told me that Aerosmith's "Honkin' on Bobo" was one of the best albums of all time. He was dead serious.

Goaltending coach:
Stephane Waite

Memories:
The 2006-07 Ice Girls Crew. If you have been following the Chicago Ice Girls Crew you know that 06-07 was a banner year for the organization.



Interesting?:
Jonathan Toews's wikipedia page notes that he is "fluently bilingual in both of Canada's official languages."
Why not just say that he also speaks French?

NHL 94 players:
Jeremy Roenick, Steve Larmer, Christian Ruutu up front.
Chris Chelios and Steve Smith on D with Ed Belfour in net.
Really strong team here. Christian Ruutu blew my mind.

Prediction?:
This team is young and exciting and it's great for hockey having strong teams in Chicago and Boston again but I think people are over rating how successful the Hawks will be this season.

YouTube:
One of my all-time favorite youtubes that doesn't involve a 17 year old girl dancing to her web cam.



- Nemmy

JR - another legend gone

You know you could find a 1000 different videos of JR both on and off the ice but I think these two will sum him up and his career more than amply.



Great music on both of these videos.



It's sad to see such a personality and American hockey star leave the nhl. A member of the 500 goal club...a man of integrity...a man of talent...a man of good old 80s grit and determination.

I don't know what happened because I wasn't there to verify but why is Alex Burrows hitting a 19 year old goaltender in the face in a summer mens league game. Alex just watch these videos and maybe you can get to half of what JR was about.

One of my athletic role models of all time. A personality I am similar too. A player I always tried to emulate. Thanks for the memories Jeremy. Wish you the best in life after hockey.



Yes!

- The 2man

Non-hockey hockey line

First off let me couch this post by saying that I'm not sure if I've written about this subject already. I did a quick search in the Blogger and couldn't find it so I guess I'm safe. My memory isn't great and my girlfriend frequently tells me that I use the same jokes over and over. She's heard me tell her about my cabbie with a ball cap over his turban 7,000 times - "What are you a Cleveland Indian?". Whoever I stole that joke from needs to be assaulted.

Wednesday was supposed to be question day but I want to start this a night early.

Let's say that you had to create a starting 5 from non hockey players, who would you pick? Assume that anyone you pick could actually skate and all that. Here's my made up hypothetical fantasy land lineup.

Starting Center - Allen Iverson

Why? In a perfect world my starting center would be the fearless, gritty playmaker who goes into the high traffic spots to make passes and create plays. AI is tough enough to go into corners and creative enough to set up his linemates. He's quick enough to dart in and out of trouble and has the court vision my team is looking for in a No. 1 center. Too many times AI gets criticized for being a shoot first guard but that could round out his effectiveness at the pivot. The guy can take bumps and still has a motor in his older age. Plus he's a total thug and I'm grabbing him before Brian Burke sends him an offer sheet. Consider AI a tougher tatted-up Pavel Datsyuk.

Right Wing - Face from the A-Team

Lieutenant Templeton "Face" Peck played by Dirk Benedict was a closer and a winner. He made everything happen for that A-Team squad and always got laid. When the team needed to up-armor the black van (like they did every 3rd episode) who finagled the parts? Yeah BA always straightened out the trash cans for metal sheeting but Face always managed to get the big ticket items using his charm. The guy was smooth enough to talk his way out of capture or into a woman's gaucho pants and badass enough to shoot a rocket to make a forest green Jeep full of Honduran military policemen flip on it's side. That combination of suave and grit with a side of pure finish makes him the perfect RW. Consider him Jeremy Roenick with slightly less cool hair.

Note: if Brad Pitt's character in Ocean's 13 could use a blowtorch like Face he might have made the starting lineup.

Left Wing - Pitt Bull

I'm looking for a left-handed Tochett or Neeley here. I need a guy on LW that goes north-south with a heavy shot and a pair of hands. This Spanish rapper Pitt Bull is gritty enough to be my left winger. Why? I saw a youtube video of this guy rapping on stage when some fan gets too close and he knocks the fan's ass out and keeps on rapping with the song. Let's see Eminem's pussy ass do that. I'm not a fan of his music but his name is Pitt Bull and he campaigned for John McCain last election so he skates onto my starting lineup right there. Consider him a Puerto Rican Milan Lucic.

Defense - Alexander Skarsgård

My first Dman needs to be the point man. Who knows what this guy is like in real life but Skarsgård plays the 2 coolest characters on HBO. He was Ice Man in Generation Kill (shame on you if you haven't seen this 300 times) and the Viking vampire on True Blood. Plus he's Swedish and I need a Lidstrom-type to man the point. Seriously, True Blood isn't all that great except for the vampire sex but what this guy did on Generation Kill was fantastic. His character was so badass and cool, such a leader. There were only 6 or so episodes of that series but I still feel like I owe this guy a beer. My girlfriend would set fire to my genitals for a chance to hug this guy and my lineup needs that calm killer on the point for the breakout passes and cutting off angles. Consider this guy Nik Lidstrom carrying an M4 with the night vision optics.

Defense - Matt Stairs
I need some muscle on D. NEED IT. Matt Stairs and his big mouth full o' chaw will keep opposing heads up and have guys looking over their shoulders. Stairs has been through it all. He's got scars and war stories and you're just hoping he doesn't have some violent flashback when you skate into his corner. God forbid he catches you at the foot of the crease or if he mistakes you for the family court judge that took away his kids in '98. And don't get in the way of the heavy shot from the point. He fires hard and often and is about as accurate as indiscriminate mortar fire. I can just imagine the presence Stairs would bring to my lineup when he's sitting on the bench during warmups smoking a Winston. Your boy's probably got a playoff beard started before the 2nd period and a water bottle full of stuff they used to power Sputnik. His teammates all know that he takes too many roughing calls but they put up with it because he makes his men feel 150 lbs bigger on the ice. Consider him a more muscular Marty McSorley with 10x more PTSD.

No one is fucking with that lineup.

- Nemmy

What you missed last night while you were trying to wrap your head around Kyle Okposo's move

In a scrimmage last night I tried doing the Okposo shoot-out move and failed miserably. I can't rap my head around that move.
Anyway, onto Friday's Hockey Haikus (sorry for the delay today, I had busy morning at the dayjob)

Devils shut-out the Avalanche, 4-0:
Parise's goal - WOW
Brodeur is back and got the
shut-out. Jers feels good.

Maple Leafs beat the Islanders in the shoot-out, 5-4:
Tambellini can
snipe, not in-game though. Blakes spin
is bush. Witts elbow - ouch.

Panthers come back to beat the Rangers, 2-1:
Shoulders hunched, arms crossed
that is the Tortorella
losing press meeting.

Hurricanes win over the Sabres in the shoot-out, 2-1:
For teams outside of
the playoffs, these three point games
must be killing them

Capitals beat the Thrashers, 4-3:
Ovy did not score
but tried to fight the wrong guy
when he got high sticked

Bruins shut-out and dominate the Ducks, 6-0:
Hard work always beats
skill. Example... Bitz outworks
Neidermayer, scores.

Sharks beat the Senators, 2-1:
Roenicks goal is hockey
Fake shot from point is pass to
Thornton, to slot, goal.

Predators beat the Coyotes, 4-1:
All of a sudden
the Predators can score or
maybe the Yotes suck

Blues win over the Stars, 3-1:
Steve Ott always does
something and contributes on
the scoresheet... sometimes.

Blues Jackets shut-out the Oilers, 1-0:
Big win for Jackets
and for Mason. He leads the
league in shut-outs, now.