Jumat, 06 Maret 2009

GUEST BLOG - Before you head to happy hour

Hey, homos. It’s me, Luke Richardson. Nemmy is busy with shit at work and asked me to “guest blog” and wrap up all the shit that happened during the week. Normally I don’t do all this sissy computer stuff but I owe Nemmy a few favors ever since he posted my bail when I bit the face of that police horse. So here I am blogging. I figured I have nothing else to do today because fucking Netflix sent me the Scorpion King and I already own it.

I guess a bunch of trades went down the other day. My old buddy Mark Recchi went to Boston. It must have been great to get the hell out of Tampa Bay. That fucking city is a dog track. Also Olli Jokinen got sent to Calgary. I’m not a big fan of Jokinen. I guess he’s a good player but he’s overpaid and soft. Also, I’ve never seen a white guy with a Pat Ewing nose like he’s got. He’ll love it in Calgary though. Great city with great fans. Have you ever been to that rink? You should go. Have you ever humped a one-eyed chick in the back of the Saddledome? Tits bigger than a coconut crab. Ask Craig Berube about that one. Chief tells that story better than I can. HA

Some other teams made moves but nothing important. Since I retired I’ve been missing the game and was hoping one of these teams needed a stay-at-home D man for the playoff push. Unfortunately the only person who called my cell was some guy to tell me I left my credit card at the HipHugger.

Did I see that Ryan Shannon is playing the point man on Ottawa’s powerplay? I could fire a puck with my meast harder than that punk. I bet those homos miss me back there.

Have you losers joined up with the 2Man’s facebook thing? I’m not into the whole facebook thing. I only have a computer to watch Lady Sonia movies and let my kids do their studies. But if you live in your parent’s basement I bet it’s really cool. HA

Did I just hear that Dan Briere is injured again? What a pussy. The only times I missed games was when coach scratched me or that one time a Chinese guy sneezed on me while on line at a Wawa. But seriously what a pussy. I’ve seen babies get pulled out of wells in better shape than that guy.

Some good games are on tonight. Hopefully I can get Gus to put the Dallas – Anaheim game one of the sets at the OTB. Tomorrow there’s a bunch of day games and NBC is showing the Rangers – Bruins on Sunday. The Bruins are limping into that game, eh? Nemmy and his old man are going so I hope the Bs win for him. BTW you had to see the size of this fish sandwich Nemmy pulled in for lunch. This thing was big, flaky and covered in tartar sauce. It reminded me of that old lady I brought home from Von Stueben’s the other night. HA

Anyway enjoy kissing men and shaving your legs or whatever you jerkoffs do this weekend. I got an end piece meatloaf smmy in the icebox so I’ll see you around.

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