Jumat, 13 Maret 2009

GUEST BLOG - Before you head to happy hour


The 2Man boys are all off getting ready for the weekend so Bressler asked me last night if I could pinch in with the blog. I'm not the biggest hockey fan in the world but I'm always up for the challenge. How does a bottle of Budweiser write a blog post? A: With plenty of help from spellcheck. Ru du doooo!

So before you head to happy hour here’s a short list of do’s and don’t’s to follow this weekend.

Do Get together with some buddies and watch the Columbus/Chicago game tonight at 8:30. Make sure to invite me and some friends.

Don’t stick around for the LA/Vancouver game.

Do clear your schedule for Saturday. The Islanders are in Boston at 1PM just in case you don’t want to watch the Rangers get crushed by Philly. Does Darius Kasparaitis, Sandis Ozolinsh or Theo Fleury still play for the Rangers? Those were some of my closest pals back in the day.

Don’t end up like this guy because you spent the day drinking in your retarded “Irish” getup at some rinky-dink St. Patrick’s parade.

Do go see a golf tournament down in Florida this weekend with your old man like Bressler is doing.

Don’t get dragged to a St. Patrick’s Day hockey tournament somewhere in Connecticut by some of Nemmy’s buddies like Scotty is doing.

Take it from me, a bottle of Budweiser: Take it easy this weekend. Don’t get all wasted tonight because you’ll forget every sick Rich Nash goal you see tonight. And be careful drinking before playing hockey because you may try to explode a moment and end up falling awkwardly or picking a fight with a guy who is stone sober and carved from granite. And don’t be that guy who puts up Mogilny numbers at the bar because his great great great great grandfather fucked an Irish lady on the boat over from Naples. If you want to enjoy St. Patrick’s day and get into 5th gear go ahead. But don’t claim it’s because you are 1/16th Irish. Real Irish folks would be sitting in church and you are American. Matter of fact, I AM AMERICAN. I was born in St, Louis, MO. Just because I now work for a European company doesn’t mean I’m not as red-blooded as Chuck Norris, apple pie and road head. Shit, Nemmy works for a European company and that kid is a God-dang American icon.

Don’t make a maniac out of me. Be sure to join up with the Friends of the 2 Man Advantage Facebook page and stay safe out there.

“'Cause the flag still stands for freedom and they can't take that away.”

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