Rabu, 23 September 2009

Crib Notes - Tampa Bay Lightning

Tampa bay Lightning
Finished last in the Southeast. Did not make the playoffs
Signed crafty F Alex Tanguay via free agency after it appeared every other team in the league passed on this guy.
Signed D Kurtis Foster and F Stephane Veilleux, both formerly of the Wild
Signed tough guy Todd Fedoruk
Made a sneaky splash signing D Mattias Ohlund.
Signed backup G Antero Nittymaki
Bought out Vinny Prospal who was signed by the Rangers
Radim Vrbata was traded back to Pheonix for David Hale.

Questions going into 2009-2010:
What is going on with the ownership?
Will we hear Vinny Lecavalier's name on the trading block again?
Will the team regret not moving Vinny to Montreal last season?
How is Mike Smith's concussion issues? (So far he's played well in 2 preseason games)
How much of an impact will Alex Tanguay have?

Poised for a breakout season:
Steve Stamkos had a strong 2nd half last season. I bet he blows up this year.

If you had to buy one Lightning sweater:
1) Do not buy a some ridiculous "Bolts" jersey
2) Try to spell Lecavalier correctly

Customized jersey I will buy Bressler for Hannukah:
Because NHL.com wouldn't let me put "Anal Beads" on the back.

Player whose game you like but are not sure why:
I am a Brandon Bochenski fan. For some reason I think he could be a legit player.

Rumor that I read on some website:
That Martin St. Louis was hung like a donkey. I can't find the source and I can't search for "Martin St. Louis cock" at work.

Old guys:
Marty St. Louis is 34
Jeff Halpern is 33

Young guys:
Last year's #2 pick Victor Hedman is 18
2008's #1 pick Steven Stamkos is 19

Tough guys:
Todd Fedoruk found a home in Tampa. Steve Downie is a thug and Ryan Malone is a salty irish guy.

Favorite old school Lightning:
Rob Zamuner

Favorite Lightning ice Girl:
Crystal is a 1st grade teacher. Imagine going to meet your kid's teacher and seeing this chick.

Goaltending coach:
Former Clarkson coach Cap Raeder

Look at the garbage Tampa bay drafted in 1992.
Roman Hamrlik, Drew Bannister, Brent Gretzky, Aaron Gavey, Brantt Myhres, Martin Tanguay, Derek Wilkinson, Dennis Maxwell, Andrew Kemper, Marc Tardif and Tom MacDonald.
Way to hit the ground running.

Co-owners Len Barrie and Oren Koules can't get along and are both trying to buy each other out. Ridiculous situation in Tampa Bay.

NHL 94 players:
Brian Bradley, Chris Kontos and Mikael Andersson up front.
Bob Beers and Roman Hamrlik on D with Webdell Young in net.
Easily the worst roster in the league.

Another ugly season.

Scotty describes St. Louis's skating as "water bugging". It's perfect.

- Nemmy

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