What you missed last night while you were angrily watching Jim and Pam's wedding

Its Friday, so its back to Hockey Haikus. There were a ton of games last night.


Flames beat the Oilers in the shoot-out, 4-3:
Khabibulin has
problems late in the third. He
is probably drunk.

Sharks beat the BJs, 6-3:
Heatley got the trick.
Joe had four assists. The Sharks
need the same in May.

Senators beat the Islanders in OT, 3-2:
Okposo had a
sweet goal. Pascal Leclaire's pads are sweet.
Does anyone care?

Penguins beat the Flyers, 5-4:
Would you really be
surprised if Hartnell does like
the taste of humans?

Rangers beat the Capitals, 4-3:
After Henrik's brain
fart, Gabby scores. When will his
groin finally break?

Thrashers win over the Blues, 4-2:
The commentator
call Tkachuk, "Big Walt." That's the
Best. Nickname. Ever.

Red Wings beat the Hawks, 3-2:
This game wasn't close
to being sold out. Detroit
has mad problems, yo.

Devils beat the Lightning in the shoot-out, 4-3:
Stamkos will not have
a sophmore slump. His release
is "lightning" fast. HA!

Predators beat the Avalanche, 3-2:
Nashville has a real
sneaky home-ice advantage.
Duchene is mad fast.

Sabres win over the Coyotes, 2-1:
Is there anyone
outside of Buffalo that
cared about this game?

Ducks beat the Bruins, 7-1:
"Perry scored off his
head. Boston sucks,"says Nemmy
in text from last night.

Kings win over the Wild, 6-3:
So far this season,
the Kings get big leads, then lose
them, but win the game.

What you missed last night while you were learning the official rock of Alberta

(answer at the bottom)

Coyotes shut-out the Penguins, 3-0: I don't think anyone saw this coming. When it was 2-0 late in the 3rd, Scotty texted me, "Do they make it a game?" I replied, "they should get at least 1." I'm glad I left and didn't watch the rest. Someone on NHL on the Fly: Final said it best, "the coyotes played a text book away game." They got the first goal, took the crowd out of it and played some good D. Brent Johnson must have still been thinking about Nemmy's super questions, but he did make some nice saves.

Canucks wallop the Canadiens, 7-1: Yes, I used the word "wallop." There's no other way to describe it. Everybody in Vancouver can relax now. The first 2 goals from Raymond and Kessler were just awesome speed demon goals. Kessler with a sweet move on the breakaway and Kessler cutting in on the D-man for the eventual game winner. Price didn't even finish the game.


oh, and the official rock of Alberta is petrified wood.

What you missed last night while you were watching the Twins win

For this season, Wednesday recaps will be known as Mid-week Monsters. I'll pick the best player from each game and tell you why.

Senators beat the Maple Leafs, 2-1: Alfie - he got the game winner with a nice move in during a penalty shot. He didn't draw it, but finished it nicely, with a move that froze the new bad Leafs goalie and then roofed the backhand.

Flyers win over the Capitals in OT, 6-5: Capt. Mike - Richards had a 2nd period hat-trick. Enough said. His first goals was a bad angle snipe off a great slap-pass. The second was a little luck on a wrister and the third was him going hard to the net and roofing Varlemov's goof.

Flames beat the Canadiens, 4-3: Eric Nystrom - 2 goals and a fight. None of it was pretty, but it all looks the same on a scoresheet.

Oilers beat the Stars in the shoot-out, 5-4: This wasn't a pretty game. I guess I'll say Khabibulin, because he got the win.

Kings win over the Sharks, 6-4: Jack Johnson - His goal was special. Handzus gave me an awful waist high saucer pass and some how JJ batted it in. But when you're up 4-0 and give away the lead, its tough to give the MwM award to a d-man, but that goal was sneaky special.

Wild beat the Ducks in OT, 4-3: John Scott - How does Minnesota have another huge fighter besides Boogard. Anyway, Scott dominated his fight agains t2MA! favorite George Parros

So I'm sitting across the aisle from Brent Johnson

Bress mentioned our trip to the Isles home opener here.

Every time we've gone to film the tailgating we have a shitload of fun. Tons of hockey fans, food, booze and a few old friends. After the Vodka, some free beer and a ceremonial joint of medicinal dope I ended up seated by the Pittsburgh Penguins tunnel across from backup netminder Brent Johnson. So of course I was inappropriate and peppered him with questions. I tried to wait until tv timeouts and only asked after the 1st period when it looked like the Pens were fine game-wise but I was probably annoying.

All answers are from what I think Brent Said. I'm not a journalist, I'm an idiot who shouldn't be within 20 feet of another living person after being over served.

Q: Does the US team have any shot at Gold in Vancouver?
A: He thought so but said that the team needed to play it's best hockey.

Q: Which team is more talented from your experience during practice shootarounds: DC or PIT?
(Note: I think I may have asked which team lit you up more in practice.)
A: Washington

Q: Why does he wear gel in his hair when he may have to jump into net?
Q: Does the gel ever get into his eyes and distract him?
A: Apparently the gel doesn't bother him and he is always gelled up even before starts. A little water in the hair before he gets out there is fine. (Brent is starting to get annoyed so I started spacing questions out a little more.)

Q: Does he ever not shower after sitting through a game?
A: Always showers. One of the NHL crew guys standing around him laughs at the question. Brent didn't find the humor in it.

I asked him something about Billy Guerin I think but I can't really recall. I was just trying to pick his brain but I may have bugged this shit out of him.

- Nemmy

What you missed last night while you were talking about Brett Favre and then lighting yourself on fire

Rangers beat the Devils, 4-3: Ok, who picked up Michael del Zotto in fantasy? Obviously, I don't think he'll keep up this pace of goal scoring, but he runs the PP, so points are there. The Rangers were impressive last night. I wonder how much of that can be attributed to Tortorella's early game time-out and subsequent yell-fest. I thought that might come back to bite the Rangers in the ass when, late in the third, the same Ranger's line kept icing the puck. It didn't, because of a Lundquist's great blocker save into the stands.
I understand that Bryce Salvador needs to stand up for Paul Martin, but it actually cost the Devils. Instead of going on the PP, the Rangers win the face-off in the 4-on-4, and score to tie up the game. Oh, and Paul Martin was fine.

BJs beat the Canucks, 5-3: Canuck fans must be flipping out. Its not just the 3 losses, but Luongo got pulled last night and except for the 3rd period, the BJs kind of worked the Canucks. I don't understand how the Canucks gave up a 3-on-2 shorthanded goal while on the powerplay. Hey forwards, backcheck! It was a sweeting passing play though. Simple drop from Nash, who went to the side of the net, got the puck back and then fed a sweet cross-crease pass to Vermette. By the way, Nash had a playmaker last night.

Weekend Wrap Up OR What I missed because my DVR failed to record any NHL: On the Fly

So even though I should have been able to see highlights from the 20 or so games this weekend, I only caught 2 full games instead. I watched the Hawks embarrass the Panthers in front of a less than capacity crowd of Finlanders. And The 2 Man went to the Islanders home opener and chatted with Brent Johnson (not on film), while the Islanders lost in the shoot-out.

For the Islander game, we lucked out with the weather. It was pouring as we crawled along in traffic on the LIE, but just as pulled into the parking lot, it cleared up (relatively) and we got some great footage.

Some thoughts from the game:

Sidney Crosby is great and again just wants to put his team on his back. He scored twice on Rolosson (once in the shoot out), by going five-hole.

Tim Jackman knows when to fight. This happened shortly after Crosby put the Pens up 1-0.



Tavares got is first goal. I'm sure he'll have many more from that about area. Watch Trent Hunter get the puck for him.




So thats all I really got for this first weekend wrap-up. Yea I saw Khabibulin's fuck up. And I learned you never, ever fight Milan Lucic.





Tell me what I missed.

-Bress

What you missed you last night because you have DirectTV

Every game had great energy last night. Usually, Friday is reserved for hockey haikus, but since its the first night of games, I'm just going to bullet point the best parts of each game.

Capitals beat the Bruins, 4-1:

• Ovechkin had quite the game, 2 goals and an assist
• His assist started off that pretty passing play for the first goal
• His second goal was pure STRENGTH as he beat Lucic's stick check in front and somehow converted the pass.

Canadiens beat the Leafs in OT, 4-3:

• What the hell was Ron Wilson wearing?
• Great fights in this game. Is Jay Rosehill a Jew? He sure doesn't fight like one.
• Both Stajan's and Metropolit's goals were super sweet tips. Stajans was more the result of a great slap pass from Kaberle. Metropolit's was pure coolness, through his legs
• It was weird to see Gomez with number 91

Avalanche beat the Sharks, 5-2:

• Take the C off Marleau and he responds with 2 goals. They should have done that during the play-offs

Flames win over the Canucks, 5-3:

• Those throwback jerseys look awesome
• The Calgary D is probably the best in the League. No one talks about Mark Giordano made a sweet move on point and scored the first goal of the game and later had an assist.
• Kiprusoff should always, always have a beard