Sharking in Vancouver

http://www.ctvolympics.ca/news-centre/newsid=14258.html?cid=rsstsn

Read this article and then hit the gym immediately. If you're not ready for 50 sets of closed-grip pullups after reading this article then you are a soulless individual - much like Michael Vick.

The best part:

New Leafs defenceman Mike Komisarek was looking forward to becoming acquainted with his potential Olympic teammates. Off-ice plans for the week include a trip to a Chicago White Sox game, a players' dinner and daily contact with members of the U.S. Navy Seals who were involved in fighting in Afghanistan. ''A lot of us play against each other and to come to camp and build some camaraderie, build some trust, get to know each other off the ice, '' he said. ''That will help us tremendously in Vancouver.''

Dude, daily contact with U.S. Navy SEALS. Yzerman better hope his boys have their heads up.

Thanks to Mr. W with the tip.

- Nemmy

Bad People

Here are the top 5 bad people for the week:

1) Guys who say things are "epic":
I overheard three guys talk about a buddy of theirs in Martha's Vineyard. Everything was "epic". Tanner banged the girl he met at the beach - EPIC. Tanner passed out on the beach and had to be driven home by the cops - EPIC. Tanner showed up to the bar wearing the same exact outfit as his buddy - DOUBLE EPIC. The whole douchebag weekend was EPIC, Brah! Seriously, unless you are retelling scenes from the fucking ODYSSEY let's try to leave the word "epic" alone.

2) The guy in my locker room who wears head-to-toe UnderArmor:
This guy is easily the worst hockey player on the planet. Thankfully he let us all know how the refs screwed him as he peeled off 14 layers of sweaty spandex. I really need to either stay in my apt or come to the games homemade.



3) The guys who ring the opening bell at the NASDAQ:
The only semi-amusing part of watching CNBC all day is when a group of clowns stand in front of a giant screen and open trading for the NASDAQ. Ringing the bell and sending the trading pit into action at the NYSE is a tradition. Standing in front of a television screen and clapping is dopey.

4) People who talk about how much better Mexican food and sushi is on the West Coast:
I know someone originally from San Francisco who loves to talk about how she eats sushi every day when she goes back home. She'll say "You have no idea how much better the sushi is on the West Coast. I almost feel bad for people in NYC because of the sushi that you guys have to eat". Apparently where she eats sushi in San Fran the chef walks out of the ocean with a net, wipes the ass of a crab and rolls it in rice on her plate. She tells me about the "amazing" sushi at every opportunity. I had no idea what I was missing by living here. I very briefly had a relationship with a girl who grew up in Denver and swore that the Mexican food in NYC was terrible compared to Denver. Why did she think this? Because Denver is closer to Mexico, silly! She said this seriously. Hearing her going on and on about how we don't have real guacamole (or real Mexicans) on the East Coast was not worth the flaky handjob she gave me after the Giants won the Super Bowl.



5) Anyone in the NHL without a mustache
Tell me your first order of business after making a big league roster wouldn't be growing a mustache.

Close 6)
Guys like me who blog about this shit. I should be assaulted.

-Nemmy

We're Back

Sorry for disappearing. The last few weeks have been tough for the greater 2man family. Long story and one that I can't really explore in the blog space. Just know that we're back to posting and hanging tough through the NYC humidity.

I just read that Vinny Prospal signed with the Rangers, the same team that brought Mark Messier back to be a "special assistant". That's it, that's your news. Fantastic.

Does anyone want to send us updates from the Olympic training camps? Does anyone want to wager on who the first Olympic training camp injury will be? I'll take Marty, there's no way that guy is in any shape right now. Does anyone want to comment on the fact that I went 5/5 last week with roast beef/melted mozz and brown gravy on rolls?

We have to clear some cobwebs from the 2Man studio right now. Bear with us while we get back into full blog form. Until then enjoy some sick passes in this clip from Rock 'Em Sock 'Em 15. If you are a Jason Arnott fan make room in your work slacks for a future erection.



- Nemmy

JR - another legend gone

You know you could find a 1000 different videos of JR both on and off the ice but I think these two will sum him up and his career more than amply.



Great music on both of these videos.



It's sad to see such a personality and American hockey star leave the nhl. A member of the 500 goal club...a man of integrity...a man of talent...a man of good old 80s grit and determination.

I don't know what happened because I wasn't there to verify but why is Alex Burrows hitting a 19 year old goaltender in the face in a summer mens league game. Alex just watch these videos and maybe you can get to half of what JR was about.

One of my athletic role models of all time. A personality I am similar too. A player I always tried to emulate. Thanks for the memories Jeremy. Wish you the best in life after hockey.



Yes!

- The 2man

?

Harry Connick Jr. and Super Joe?

If you had any interest in Seinfeld...this video was made well. Real creative. Despite the incident, the amount of physical comedy I took in from Michael Richards is unfathomable.

It's Tiger Tuesday so don't hesitate at all.

- Zelli

Weekend spillover

You know how in some video games, as you progress throughout the game, you can unlock teams...like in MLB you can unlock the Polo Grounds and an Old Athletic's jersey as you complete tasks like hitting 1.000 with a player in a game or getting two homers or pitching a shutout. I will unlock some things for you 2man readers that occurred this weekend.

Nemy left my house around 11am and headed back to NYC to take care of some passport related things and than proceeded to the East Village Tavern where my girlfriend Amber has been working a few shifts a week for some extra cash. He sat down and had one Dogfish Ale. I believe it is the Dogfish but if it isn't, it is the same composition and color but the one he was drinking is almost 15% alcohol by volume so 18,000. One dogfish turned into almost 10 Amber said. WOW! By the way if I'm not with you, don't ever have that many Dogs...just not street smart. Massive unruly bowl movements at the bar turned into explosive vomit and a few phone calls that really communicated 10 Dog imbibement to me over the phone. He was calling me and I was having a peaceful dinner with my mom and brother.

The song is great but the reason it's here is 4minutes to 4:30...watch. Note the reference. Emilio? Take that D! You know what he really means.

























Than I received a phone call not but a few hours later from Camille. He was out shotgunning beers down in Philly with Riley Cote and Jeff the assailiant Carter. Imagine drinking with scary freaky Riley Cote? Jeff Carter, yes...a peaceful but uplifiting partier as I've seen him in his party environment. Cote? I hope Matty is ok. The last message I got from him was that he just shotgunned a beer with Cote. Great little unlocking stories for you.

Turn me on...turn me on!

- Ak 27

Weekend In Review

Scotty's parent's live out on LI and have a heated pool. Since his folks were away Scotty and I got a few 18 racks and looked to go swimming on Friday night in the country. It rained all night so we settled for beer pingus and some chicken rolls.

We paired up against his two local pals and we were getting smoked early on. It was just like Tiger's front 9 at the Buick. After we shake off the cobwebs from some train beers and some other spooky stuff we come roaring back. It was just like Tiger's weekend at the Buick. John Senden melted from the lava and Scotty and I rattled off 2 in a row (after losing the first 6!) by 5 cups lengths. By this time we were both unconscious and speaking in a language that twins teach each other. The other side gets winded and decides to bag it. Scott showed why he had the home court advantage and took over. Matt Bettencourt and YE Yang can't bang with Tiger at his tourney.

Anyways the point of my story is that in the same basement as the pingus table Scotty has a tiled room with two floor hockey nets. See, Scotty has a little brother who is just growing pubes so he's got an assortment of sticks and pucks and fun. To walk from the stairs to the table you have to pass the area where he keeps the nets up. Let me tell you this: It is impossible to walk by that area without firing some pucks down range. I spent the better part of the night playing floor hockey and imagining that I'm Scott Neidermayer sneaking in from the point for a one-timer. So much fun.

We followed up with a men's league win last night with a borrowed goalie. All good things.

Who gets moved first: Kessel or Heatley?

When is the last time you saw a caterpillar?

- Nemmy