Avery, Thomas and JP Nuzzo

As much as I love Timmy Thomas, the Boston Bruins and the rules of our sport I can't seem to get worked up over Sean Avery's 'accidental' stick incident last Saturday.



It would be hypocritical for me to get up in arms when I pulled the same shit when I was playing.

Warning: we're starting story time now. JJ Putz just came in to protect the Mets 2-1 lead in the 8th and this story could really get away from me and turn into an hour long tale that goes nowhere. I'll start writing but there's no telling where we may end up. You've been warned.

In high school Heals and I played for a Catholic school that drew kids from the neighboring towns. Every team we faced was considered a rival because, for the most part, we would be playing against the home squad of at least 2 or 3 guys on our team.

Most of the time there were friendly rivalries where guys would battle on the ice and share a laugh after the game. You grew up in that town and played youth hockey with many of the guys we faced in high school so it never got too heated or too friendly most of the time.

Heals's hometown was different; Hamden, Connecticut hated Healey. I don't know where it got ugly but some of the kids that Heals used to call friends were part of the group that threw jars of spaghetti sauce threw his windows in high school. Some of the mothers that Heals's mom used to sit next to when watching their mites bump around the ice were the same mothers who would taunt and jeer her at the local grocery. Shit was so weird and personal when we played Hamden and, being his friend and teammate, it was impossible not to get caught up in some of it.

Playing in that Hamden rink was always an adventure for us. We knew going in that the crowd would be hostile not just because they hated Heals but because it seemed like the whole town had nothing else in their lives other than high school hockey. The parents who had kids took these games as seriously as their sons did and the people who didn't have skin in the game seemed even more invested in the outcome. The environment was awesome and completely frightening all the same time.

Anyways, while playing in Hamden's barn late senior year the crowd was getting on Heals during the warm ups. It wasn't anything out of line or anything we hadn't heard before but in a must win game for both teams this crowd was gaining an edge before the puck was dropped. Again, they were awesome and positively terrifying all at the same time.

We were used to big audiences and the venom didn't really bother us that much but since they were making it tough for my goalie to start the game I tried to turn things around on their guy. We had an ice cut after warm ups and when the doors opened to start the 1st I skated the length of the ice and slashed their netminder in the head as head stretched atop his crease.

I did it to shake things up. I wanted to pull the kid off of his focus and I wanted the crowd to get all fired up that some dirty scumbag slashed their goalie and the refs didn't see it. Most importantly I wanted my teammates to see that I was not going to let some energized parents and fans dictate the tone of the game. They paid the $5 to get into the door but they came to see my show. Any physical tone would be set by me.

Truth being told I actually liked the other goalie. We went to school together and he was one of the nicest kids you'd ever meet. I had nothing against him off the ice but I'd do almost anything to win including cheap shots and dick moves to give my team the advantage. That's why I can't fault Avery for slapping Thomas the Tank Engine's helmet the other day. He didn't go out to injure him, he simply wanted to shake up the goalie who was stoning his team back into the 8th playoff spot. If Thomas went apeshit, lost his focus and gave up a soft goal after the game you would all crown Avery as a master pest. Instead he did his job and it didn't work.

If Avery gets suspended it would be a joke on par with when the league punished him for a stupid press conference. Avery hits Thomas, Thomas goes after Avery they both get 2 mins and hockey is back to normal. They'll see each other again. Hockey has a great way of evening things out.

As for Avery's intent, I can't fault him. A dbag tried to stir things up with a dick move and it didn't work. This dbag sees nothing wrong with that.

-Nemmy

Putz, KRod = Yes. See you tomorrow.

Weekend Wrap-Up

Not sure if we are purposely holding off with the weekend wrap up but it might be a good time to get something up on the blog today.

Here's where we stand right now:

1 - Boston - 112 - locked and loaded

2 - DC - 104 - same

3 - NJD - 102 - about to wrap up the division

4 - Philly - 95 - Carter is still going crazy

5 - Carolina - 95 - playing out of their minds right now

6 - Pitt - 93 - post season bound; not playing great hockey

7 - Mon - 92 - wouldn't like to face them in the opener. OTT, NYR, BOS, PITT to end things

8 - NYR - 89 - 3 games before pencils down. MTL, PHILLY (2x) to end things

Florida - 89 - 3 games: at Philly, at ATL, DC = not impossible

Buf - 85 - 4 games left: DET, at TOR, at CAR, BOS = good luck with allll that.

1 - SJ - 115 - locked and loaded

2 - DET - 109 - same but with a 'different' Osgood than last season

3 - CGY - 94 - So many moving parts in the west. Great logjam in the middle here

4 - CHI - 97 - Nice to see Chicago back in the post season

5 - VAN - 94

6 - CBJ - 90 - Really rooting for this team

7 - ANA - 88

8 - NSH - 86 - This team too

St. Louis - 86 - feel good story of hockey right now. Last 3: at PHO, CBJ, at COL

Minnesota and Edmonton have 86 points, 3 games left and a chance to ruin the playoffs if they get in.

We'll do the whole playoff match up preview needfull when the dust settles this weekend. We'll do some half ass analysis, makes awful picks and maybe even include a video or two. Who knows?

Games tonight:

Det at Buffalo - Make or break for the Sabres.

Ott at Montreal - a few weeks ago I was talking about how great it would be if Montreal missed the playoffs in it's indulgent 100 year anniversary. Crazy.

LA at Calgary - I'll be asleep.

What else happened? Avery was a dick (on the ice), Crosby stuck up for Malkin, Tim Thomas still will make less then Lundquist, Turco etc, Ron Wilson will coach us in Vancouver, and the Isles look like they can secure that last spot in the league despite the sick play of Yann Danis (for real).

I was away all week so I missed a shitload. Apparently I had today off from work too but only found out when I saw my boss at 7am.

Help fill me in.

- Nemmy

Value?

You wanna talk about value? David Backes. Big Backes! He had 4 goals last night? LOL!!!!

30 goals, 21 assists with a man size 163 pim factor. Those numbers are respective of late 80s Joel Otto on the Flames with the helmut and the action. Laith work.

Even Willem Dafoe as a Vampire is even perplexed at those Backes Boards!

- Scott

What you missed last night while you were incorrectly identifying Julianne Moore while getting banana pudding

Its Friday. Its hockey haikus. You know the drill

Flames beat the Stars, 2-1:
I want Calgary
to face Columbus in the
first round of play-offs.

Ducks win over the Canucks in the shoot-out, 6-5:
This was one crazy
game of hockey. Comeback by
the ducks and the win.

Canadiens beat the Islanders, 5-1:
This loss will help both
teams. Isles get closer to top
pick and Tavares (?)

Sharks beat the Oilers, 2-1:
Oilers are closer
to "vortex of death."MacT
is closer to fired.

Bruins beat the Senators, 2-1:
Who will overpay
for Tim Thomas in July?
My bet is Toronto.

Blues win over the Red Wings, 5-4:
David Backes is
a fantasy playoff stud.
4 goals equals yes

Hurricanes beat the Rangers, 4-2:
Paul Maurice, coach
of the year? How did this team
get to fourth in East.

Coyotes beat the Kings, 2-1:
Al Montoya has
given up only one goal
in 2 games. Nice start!

So last night...

You knew the Capitals were going to come back last night versus the Islanders but you didn't know how and in what time span. I tuned in and out, but the last time I tuned in before the Mike Green overhaul was when the Isles had a 3-2 lead. The powerplay started and you knew a good team which the Capitals are, would probably be able with 10 minutes to go, to find a way to at least tie this up versus the last place team. The powerplay started and it was over before it began. I tuned back in about 5 minutes later to find that the Isles were down again and before I could even let out a Bressler groan which many of his friends know all too well, Mike Green's hands were in the air with another PPG. The man has 30 goals and over 40 assists and he missed 10 games. What!!!!! This is ridiculous. Howie Rose was saying how he couldn't imagine how any one else would win the Norris. Billy Jaffe than said Chara and Boyle would get high mention....yes they would but are you serious this year Mike Green? If he doesn't win the Norris, than the 2man Advantage ceases to exist...my goodness!

Of course Nikolai Khabibulin lost the shut-out bid for my fantasy squad with 2 seconds left on the clock. Are you joking dude? They took a penalty and the freakin wheels fell off. I would have rather he lost the game at this point. Go home!

On to other news. Last night, I created a new NHL 09 squad. Wow! The name of the created team is the St. Paul Spartans. The jerseys...well lets just say that they resemble the team colors of the Miami Dolphins from the first tecmo bowl nintendo game.

Obviously the team on the right.

Like a metallic sky blue with greens and dark blues throughout. So Sexy! Ridiculous but sexy! The squad is 5 men and a goalie like the King and his court. Matty Weindel centers the unit with Brad Mcgan on the left side and John Giardino on the right. What's really great is that they make you choose a name that the announcers call you by. Obviously they don't have Weindel but they have many other W's. I chose Winchester as the nickname for Matty, Maclean for Brad because I loved John Maclean from the Devils and more from Die Hard and Gianolla for Gio which is utterly ridiculous. The D-unit is comprised of Nemy and Scotty. Last night there was a great moment between the two D-men. The following video is Scott Stevens top 10 hits and # 3 when Niedermayer is tracking the opponent and curling up to hip him when Stevens comes freighting in to haul the trash out resembles best what happened last night.


Scotty Barbonus has Iginla in his sights and just as I was about to take him out, I switched over to Dance and Nemy laid him out.

Our netminder is none other than avid 2man blogger Mikey Heals playing with one hell of a color coordination. Undefeated in his first 5 starts with 2 shutouts and is looking strong. Mcgan is slightly in the points lead out of the gate with 17 in 5 games with Wendel 1 behind. It's a strong unit.

Man I hope Kovalchuk has 100 points. What a game winner last night. So good at hockey. Has everyone seen this because damn!




- Barbonus

What you missed last night while you were learning that apple pie is not a great pre-game meal

Penguins beat the Devils, 6-1: If this game happened when I could write a haiku about it, it would be about how Sutter will get fired. Lou loves the late season firing, even though its only worked once (Robinson replacing Ftorek in 2000). I guess its a good thing that I can't write that haiku, because that would be overlooking how well the Penguins are playing.

Maple Leafs beat the Flyers, 3-2: Biron was pulled in this game. How is it possible that goaltending is consistently inconsistent in Philly?

Capitals win over the Islanders, 5-3: Mike Green got goals 29 and 30 last night. WOW. He never had more than 14 in junior. Un-real.

Blackhawks beat the Blues, 3-1: John Toews had a great goal where he cut in the slot with the puck and as he was tripped up by 2 Blues, he tucked the puck in far side. It will be nice to see him in the play-offs.

Thrashers beat the Sabres in OT, 3-2: I can't think of anything notable from this game besides Kovy's game winner. I have no idea how he beat Miller five-hole.

Coyotes shut-out the Avalance, 3-0: I get it Colorado, you really want Tavares (or Hedman), but isn't getting shut-out by the Phoenix Coyotes a little too obvious?

What you missed last night while taking the best naps ever on LIRR

As always on Wednesdays, I'll pick one thing from each game you needed not to miss.

Ducks beat the Oilers, 5-3: MacT's bonehead move - Taking a page from Ron Wilson's book, MacT tried to get a late power play by getting Teemu Selanne's stick measured. Yea, it was legal. MacT's move put the Oilers down a man, when they were already down a goal. Maybe Wilson will hire him as an assistant in Toronto.

Canucks beat the Wild in OT, 2-1: Henrik's GWG - Daniel led the rush and went parrallel to the blue line to make the drop pass to his brother. It seemed like the other two Canucks were crashing the net, so its a good thing the shot got through. I don't know where it beat Backstrom, but it did and the Nucks won.

Canadiens win over the Hawks, 4-1: Kovalev's first goal - It was an egregious give away by the Hawks d-man, but there was no hesitation from Kovalev when he put the puck in far side on the tight angle.

Panthers beat the Senators, 5-2: Cory Stillman's backhand sauce - It led to the first Florida goal, so its important. Stillman was on what appeared to be a solo rush down the wing, but with great vision comes great responsibility and when he saw Nathan Horton cruising the slot alone, he knew he need to get him the puck. And thats when the little flick of wrists caused the puck to jump and then land flatly for Horton.

Bruins beat the Lightning 4-1: Bergeron's pass to Chara - I know its a set play, but to find that seem so quickly is impressive. Also, Chara has to time it well. I also like how Chara has to get into a squat position to celebrate with Patrice.

BJs beat the Predators, 2-1: Nash's power move - He didn't score, but he consistently beats the d-man and gets a shot on net. Every d-man in the league thinks he has the angle on Nash, but then that big left leg comes about and you are done.

Stars beat the Kings, 3-2: No reason to watch this game.