What you missed last night while you were preparing for the Master

Rangers beat the Leafs, 5-1: This was probably the Rangers best 60 minute effort of the entire season and definitely their best effort recently. When all 4 lines are rolling and Lundquist is in Sandman mode, they are a scary team.


Oilers beat the Avalanche in OT, 5-4: The Avs are most likley going to play the 1st seed in the play-offs. Will they just be happy to be there and pull a BJs and get swept.

Coyotes beat the Predators, 5-2: I just hope the Coyotes avoid the Red Wings in the first round... speaking of the wings...

Red Wings beat the BJs, 4-3: Remember when people thought the Olympic break would be bad for the Wings?

Hawks beat the Blues, 6-5: Its a win, but the Hawks were up 6-1. That type of defense and goaltending doesn't bode well for the play-offs.

3D Hockey

I haven't seen Avatar but when I was a kid I took in a Captain Eo show in Epcot Center. That being said I think it's pretty sick that tonight's Rangers/Isles game will be broadcast in 3D. If you pay $20 you can sit in the Theater next door to the Garden or if you own a pair of glasses I think Cablevision will broadcast into your living room. Tonight Michal Rozsival's defensive errors will really seem like they jump off the screen. Ba dum bum.

Here's how to top the 3D game:

1) Broadcast the game in 3D from a camera located in Henrik's contacts. The league tried this years ago with Tomas Vokoun in an ASG wearing a huge camera on top of his helmet and it wasn't that great. But a Lundquist contact cam would really blow people's minds. Picture Being John Malkovich if he spent his evenings screened by Redden and staring at tits in the stands.

2) Mic up Sean Avery and let him go uncensored. If the NHL put this On Demand and charged a fee I would be a better buyer. Kovalchuk hears one thing out of Avery's mouth and he loses control so I have to hear what kind of smack he comes up with. Also the Rangers should take every opportunity to mute Joe Micheletti.

3) Here are the top 5 Girl Scout Cookies because it's GSC season and I got bored with writing about the Rangers and only wrote this post because I went on the site and saw that no one else wrote anything:

1) Thin Mints - chocolate and mint and so good frozen. These are easily #1 in my book because I rank these in the number of cookies I can eat in one sitting. Thin Mints are easily a 4 or 5 sleever.

Trefoils - Shortbread is sneaky amazing. Plus it's in a cool shape that when you hold one in your hand you can imagine that you won a challenge from the Vh1's the Pickup Artist.

Tagalongs - aka Peanut butter 1000s. They melt so quickly that you are forced to put them down in one bite. Not a bad thing.

Thanks-A-Lots - I've never eaten one but the description says shortbread and chocolate. They say thanks on the cookie so you don't feel bad about crushing a box or two. You're doing a good thing!

Samoas - I think toasted coconut is gross but I could still put down a half sleeve easily.

That's it.

- Nemmy

What you missed last night while you were trying to mediate the Jersey Shore-MTV salary negotiations

Canucks beat the Blues, 3-2: The Canucks start a thousand game road trip because of the Olympics soon. They are playing extremely well right now. The Canucks showed some depth, that Kesler and Raymond scored.

Stars beat the Flames in the shoot-out, 4-3: Iginla wanted to fight in the first period but Ott wouldn't oblige. Later Nystrom somehow picked a fight with Frist. And then the Flames lost again.

Lightning shut-out the Canadiens, 3-0: How did all of Victor Hedman's equipment come off?

Hurricanes beat the Rangers, 5-1: Good news for the Rangers, they scored! Bad news for the Rangers, Lundqvist is looking terrible.

Capitals beat the Ducks, 5-1: The Caps offense was flying the entire game, so Giggy actually played well for 2 periods. There were so many good goals: Ovy walking around Niedermayer, Backstrom's sick pass and then shot from Semin on the last goal.

Wild beat the Red Wings, 5-2: There were 3 goals in like 2 minutes in the 2nd period. Osgood was not looking too good last night either. Does Annti Mietinnen have a brother named Prroe?

Sabres beat the Devils in the shoot-out, 2-1: I like how in the shoot-out Americans went against Miller. However, Parise and Langenbrunner were stopped by their February teammate.

Chalk Talk

Pretty sick way to finish off the Rangers in OT, right? Let's break down the goal (because I have nothing to write about) and parse what happened in this play. Keep in mind I can't spell Dustin's last name without Google's help so I'll refer to him as "Buff".



So we're in OT with plenty of skating room and Marc Staal find himself with some pressure from Andy Ladd (at least I think it's Ladd). Staal does his best to use the net and get's some space from the aggressive forecheck and hoofs it out of the zone up the right side.



Rozsival (at the end of his shift) offers a very weak outlet for Staal considering it's a 4-4, right? I think he was just looking to have the puck carried out so he could get a blow. Anyways Staal gets to the nuetral zone and hits Gabby cross ice who is waiting at the blueline.

Rozsival goes for a line change and Gilroy hits the ice. This is important but in the grand scheme of things might not have changed the end result. So I guess it isn't important but noteworthy. Roll the film.



Gabby steps into the zone unmolested and sets up camp. Staal, being the Dman he is, goes right to the net as Gabby looks for an outlet pass.



Since Rozsival changed Gabby doesn't yet have defenseman at the top of the zone to he feigns making a cross ice pass (unless I imagined this) and sends it to Staal down low.

Now Staal is a defenseman and most Dmen think that their offensive roles when not on the point is to get some traffic and look for a tip. No way another forward makes that play. Dmen are mostly meaty folks who try for steak and potato jobs. Gabby's pass wasn't nearly hard enough for Staal to try a between the legs tip but by chance the puck squirts to Vinny Prospal.



Prospal has a chance here. He's lefty and has been lucky enough that everytime Gabby has breathed on him he's been scoring. So even though Staal tried his hardest to end this play the puck gets on his stick.

When you look at the picture above you think Vinny could easily throw something on net for a Staal rebound or slide it to Staal for the finish. Wrong. Duncan Keith doesn't freak out and kicks Prospal's pass attempt out of the reach of Prospal.



Now Gilroy still isn't in this play. I thought he was an ultra-mobile dman? How slow was Rozsival getting to the bench? Buff is looking at the puck like he stares at a Sonic commericial and Gabby doesn't know whether to engage or let Gilroy play his man. Gabby gives a half-hearted sweep and it's a race to the bottom.



Buff turns on the jets. Not only that but in the above picture Buff pulls a little toey and catches Gilroy flat footed. Once Gilroy tries to pokecheck he is finished. Buff is churning and Gilroy should have got on his horse and forced Buff wide. Instead he made a play for the puck and gets sent down to the AHL.



Gilroy does his best Mike Green impression and reaches for his inhaler when physical defensive play is involed. He lunges one last time like a hipster running after a Brooklyn bound L leaving 3rd avenue. Now if Gabby were a dman he would have beaten Buff to the post to make the stop. Instead he acts like anyone would if they saw a sofa flying past them and maintains his distance. Buff gets in on Henrik who has a dog collar shock him if he steps out of his crease.



Henrik does 35% of a poke and Buff slides the puck through his legs. It's tough for Hank with Buff coming left to right with all that speed but Hank still wishes he had committed to the poke check.



It's a walkoff.

In hindsight Gabby should have tried to skate through 4 Blackhawks and get a quality shot on net. That's really all the Rangers have right now.

- Nemmy - horseshit since 1981

What you missed last night while you were coming up with bad top 10 lists

Penguins beat the Hurricanes in the shoot-out 3-2: 2 best young goalies in the NHL + 2 fast, skilled teams = GREAT hockey game. This highlight sums it up:


Rangers beat the Kings, 4-2: Are these really the 2 hottest teams in the NHL right now? I smell a conspiracy - NY and LA, come on! It was an entertaining game. Gabby scored with his patented no-release snipe. Lundqvist is the Ranger's D.

Blackhawks beat the Oilers, 4-3: Khabibulin played well against his old teammates, but just couldn't get it done. Chicago's offense is a well-oiled machine. When they aren't scoring pretty goals, they get gritty a la Jack Skille's goal.

Stars shut-out the Predators, 6-0: Marty Turco uses the 2 pad slide very liberally.

Ducks beat the Wild, 3-2: Corey Perry scored 2 really really nice goals. The backhand, reachback move on his first was great invention. The snipe for goal 2 is just really really good skill.

What you missed last night while you were angrily watching Jim and Pam's wedding

Its Friday, so its back to Hockey Haikus. There were a ton of games last night.


Flames beat the Oilers in the shoot-out, 4-3:
Khabibulin has
problems late in the third. He
is probably drunk.

Sharks beat the BJs, 6-3:
Heatley got the trick.
Joe had four assists. The Sharks
need the same in May.

Senators beat the Islanders in OT, 3-2:
Okposo had a
sweet goal. Pascal Leclaire's pads are sweet.
Does anyone care?

Penguins beat the Flyers, 5-4:
Would you really be
surprised if Hartnell does like
the taste of humans?

Rangers beat the Capitals, 4-3:
After Henrik's brain
fart, Gabby scores. When will his
groin finally break?

Thrashers win over the Blues, 4-2:
The commentator
call Tkachuk, "Big Walt." That's the
Best. Nickname. Ever.

Red Wings beat the Hawks, 3-2:
This game wasn't close
to being sold out. Detroit
has mad problems, yo.

Devils beat the Lightning in the shoot-out, 4-3:
Stamkos will not have
a sophmore slump. His release
is "lightning" fast. HA!

Predators beat the Avalanche, 3-2:
Nashville has a real
sneaky home-ice advantage.
Duchene is mad fast.

Sabres win over the Coyotes, 2-1:
Is there anyone
outside of Buffalo that
cared about this game?

Ducks beat the Bruins, 7-1:
"Perry scored off his
head. Boston sucks,"says Nemmy
in text from last night.

Kings win over the Wild, 6-3:
So far this season,
the Kings get big leads, then lose
them, but win the game.

What you missed last night while you were talking about Brett Favre and then lighting yourself on fire

Rangers beat the Devils, 4-3: Ok, who picked up Michael del Zotto in fantasy? Obviously, I don't think he'll keep up this pace of goal scoring, but he runs the PP, so points are there. The Rangers were impressive last night. I wonder how much of that can be attributed to Tortorella's early game time-out and subsequent yell-fest. I thought that might come back to bite the Rangers in the ass when, late in the third, the same Ranger's line kept icing the puck. It didn't, because of a Lundquist's great blocker save into the stands.
I understand that Bryce Salvador needs to stand up for Paul Martin, but it actually cost the Devils. Instead of going on the PP, the Rangers win the face-off in the 4-on-4, and score to tie up the game. Oh, and Paul Martin was fine.

BJs beat the Canucks, 5-3: Canuck fans must be flipping out. Its not just the 3 losses, but Luongo got pulled last night and except for the 3rd period, the BJs kind of worked the Canucks. I don't understand how the Canucks gave up a 3-on-2 shorthanded goal while on the powerplay. Hey forwards, backcheck! It was a sweeting passing play though. Simple drop from Nash, who went to the side of the net, got the puck back and then fed a sweet cross-crease pass to Vermette. By the way, Nash had a playmaker last night.

Weekend Wrap Up OR Who knew getting beat up could rally your team?

I was in Atlantic City for most of the weekend, so I missed a lot of hockey -I can't believe the Borgata didn't have the Center Ice Package! Anyway, as I was bleeding money at the black jack table I saw Daniel Carcillo pounce on a Penguin. I didn't catch who was until the replay and was surprised that Max Talbot was the other combatant. Even though Max got his ass handed to him (and black eye), that woke up his team who scored 5 unanswered goals to win the series. So the next time that some douchebag questions why fighting is in the game, use that example.

One last thing from that game - Sidney Crosby's first goal was great hand-eye coordination to knock it out of mid-air. However, he never gets that opportunity if he doesn't stop and go back to the front of the net. How many lazy players would have just glided around to the other side?



There were a lot of mid-air knock ins this weekend. Whitney had one last night. Someone else had one, I think in the San Jose game. Like I said, I missed a lot

I missed why Tortorella got all pissy. Because some one said that Staal likes to fuck Girardi? Way to preach discipline, Torts. Avery can really learn something from you. Some more questions from the Rangers/Caps series:

• How come it took so long for Washington to figure out that Lundqvist has a weak glove?
• Did Colton Orr get flagged for a horst collar tackle in Sunday's game?
• Where is Nik Zherdev?
• Who sat so Voros could play on Sunday?

Can someone please fill me on the Western Conference games from the weekend?

-Bress
.

What you missed last night while you were looking up words in the dictionary

Bruins beat the Canadiens 4-1 (BOS wins series 4-0): A few games ago, the perfect example of the Bruins "wanting it more" was Chuck Kobasew beating captain Saku Koivu to a puck for an empty net goal. Last night it was David Krejci (who gives the worst in-between-period interview), bouncing off a Chris Higgins check, giving the puck to Ryder, and going to the net for the easy give-and-go goal. Boston was the best team in the east going into play-offs and it still looks like the road to the Finals will go through bean town.

Rangers beat the Capitals, 2-1 (NYR leads series 3-1): I've never seen a guy so tired when taking the "3 stars of the game" skate as Henrik Lundqvist. Not surprising as he stopped 38 of 39 shots. The one he missed was an absolute rocket from Alex Ovechkin (finally) that went bar-and-in. Captian Chris Drury scored on quite possibly the worst rebound give up, but was a little slow to take the mouth piece out and celebrate - I'll blame that on the hand injury.

Flames beat the Blackhawks, 6-4 (series tied 2-2): You had to stay up a little late to watch it, but it was worth it. If you look up the definition of "quick release" you'll find a video of Jarome Iginla's first goal last night. Some of the other goals were pretty, like Patrick Sharp's move then backhand no-look pass to Pat Kane for the games first goal. Some were not so pretty, like the turnover that led to Olli Jokinen's first goal. Most of them were of the go to the net hard variety. Saturday night is the next game. Watch it!

Weekend Wrap Up OR Twitter makes me look like a fool

So a little background, ever since I can remember when a play-off game goes into overtime, everyone who I am with picks a winner from each team. If you follow The2Man twitter, you can see a time line of Bress' incorrect picks.

Anyway, the first weekend of playoff hockey was a great one. I'm not sure if its obvious to everyone, but you can just feel the players turning it up, tightening the D, and its only the first round!

Here are some surprises from the first round:

• The Rangers - seriously. Look everyone knew that only shot they had was Lundqvist, but I don't htink anyone expected him to pitch a shut-out on the road and have the Rangers be up 2-0 going back to the garden.
• Claude Giroux - kid had 51 points in 19 play-off games in the Q play-offs last year. And then with the big boys does plays like this:

that, my friends, is a penalty kill

• Chris Osgood - look, its not like he's the reason the Wings are up 2-0, but come on, he's doing what he needs to do and didn't Theodore a game. (yes, Theodore is now a verb).
• John Toews - Yes, he's the captain, doing what a captain should do in the play-offs. But my god, he's only 19 in his first play-offs ever (I don't count the frozen 4, those are single eliminations games)
• 
  

Its a sick pass, but Toews knows to put it upstairs.

Not Surprises:

• The Red Wings dominating
• 
  

If you can not hit Holmstrom, you'll score.

• The Canadiens/Bruins and Philly/Pitt series being all out wars.
  
• The Devils/Canes series being very low scoring.
• St.Louis about to get swept
• The Sharks getting upset. Jonas Hiller is not Swiss cheese.

What did I miss?

-bress

What you missed last night because the Versus feed was like the Playboy channel growing up

I missed the Vancouver/St. Louis game last night because my Versus feed was scrambled like my eggs. This morning I saw 2 people wearing Rangers jerseys on my walk to the subway. That is way more than the usual zero I see.

Canucks beat the Blues, 2-1(lead series 1-o): As I said above, I couldn't watch this game. I did see the high-lights (twice) on NHL: On the Fly this morning. The slap pass from Demitra to Sedin for the first goal is true beauty. Its an obvious pass, because of the angle, but its got to be a slap to get enough speed on it to beat a goalie five-hole. Also, when Matt Barnaby was analyzing the play on ESPN this morning he said, "you can't give Demitra that much time and space." Well Matty, it was pretty much a power play for Vancouver as Lunogo had gone to the bench on a delayed power play. Thats why he had so much time and space to pick out Sedin in the slot. Oh yea, and Luongo has give up 2 goals in his last 4 or so games. Thats not grease in his hair, thats him exuding confidence.

Penguins beat the Flyers, 4-1 (lead series 1-0): If was writing a New York Times trendwatching piece about the NHL play-offs, it would be about face-offs. See everyone knows how important face-offs are, but I would make it a times trendwatch piece, by just talking about it now and only using limited evidence - like last nights Penguins game. The Penguins won almost 65% of the draws. And with the 9 power plays they had, thats a lot of time where Philly didn't have the puck. It wasn't complete domination, but the numbers make it seem that way. Also, somehow Daniel Carcillo got in trouble. He was more invisible than Chevy Chase in that move.....

Devils beat the Hurricanes, 4-1 (lead series 1-0): This game was complete domination by the home team. Cam "hot in march" Ward was not great, but also took on more shots than a Mr. W at a high school keg party. The Devils played like an efficient machine last night. The little plays they make are so fundamentally sound. For example on Elias' snipe - he doesn't get that puck if Gionta doesn't take the right angle to get body positioning on the Canes defenseman. Also, Parise went low stick side from the goal line - how is that possible!?

Rangers win over the Capitals, 4-3 (lead series 1-0): Jose Theodore made the Rangers an offensively gifted team. Well, so did Jeff Shultz. Henrik Lundqvist plays so deep in his net, it makes me think that he never learned his angles. I've always admired the Rangers penalty kill, its seems to me the most logical and ferocious way to be a man down. Lastly, Blair Betts broke his stick sliding to block Ovy's last second shot. Thats play-off hockey.

Weekend Wrap Up OR The return of the confusing t2MA! playoff pick game!

First of all, for Islander, King, Thrasher, Lightning, and Avalanche fans, your one-day play-off is tomorrow for the 1st overall pick. Here is my guess - the Kings get the #1 pick, then Isles, Lightning, Avs, Thrashers.

In other news, The 2 Man Advantage will be participating in a Sportsnet.ca play-off fantasy game, thing with some bloggers. We were invited by The Battle of Western Canada, so follow it there. We'll update you as well.


Heres the simple truth about the playoffs right now based on the past weekends games (in bullet format):

• Washington looks like it could be the top seed to go down. Theodore is playing worse than a blind man in a poker game. Even though the Rangers couldn't score on midget in a soccer goal, Lundqvist is on fire and hot goalies rule all in the universe known as play-off hockey.

• Speaking of hot goalies, the Flyers don't have one. Thusly, they will be beaten by the Penguins in the first round. And even if Philly somehow makes it a series, they'll regret losing that home ice advantage on the last day of the season.

• If the Montreal/Boston series could be won by getting more penalty minutes, then the Canadiens might win. Tim Thomas is a beast while Carey Price will make 2 great saves, but still give up a softie.
  
  
• Does anyone care about the Devils/Hurricanes series?

• Sharks and Ducks series will be a bruiser. In nature, the Sharks would win easily.
  
• The Red Wings looked prime for an upset if they faced any other team then the currently awfully playing BJs. Only Steve Mason can save them now.... well and Rick Nash

• Will the Flames be able to have a full roster? Do cap issues affect the post season?
  
• The St.Louis Blues are the feel-good story of the league. Unfortunately, they are facing the shut-out robot 2000 aka Roberto Luongo.
  

Finally, we will be having our own game again this year. You pick the winner of each series and how many games it will take. You get 7 points if you pick the right team and games. Its a one point deduction for each game off you are. And you are awarded zero points if you pick the wrong team. Does that make sense? Put your picks in the comments. The winner will get a t-shirt!

Here are Bress' picks:

Boston in 5
Washington in 6
New Jersey in 7
Pittsburgh in 7

San Jose in 7
Detroit in 5
Vancouver in 6
Calgary in 7

What you missed last night while you were trying to get the last piece of apple pie

Rangers shut-out the Devils, 3-0: Avery was a good boy last night. I hope people paid attention to Henrik Lundqvist. Lundqvist is an odd-style goalie. He plays super deep in his net and covers almost the complete bottom third. He is almost always beaten up high. Last night, however, Lundqvist made some nice glove saves. And when he does that and holds onto the puck, he's damn near unbeatable. Avery is important, but Lundqvist is the guy that makes or breaks the Rangers.

Coyotes beat the Stars, 6-5: Of the 11 goals scored in this game, I would estimate that 9 of them were of the ugly variety. I mean really ugly. Ugh. I can't believe that Versus chose this game over the Sharks/Flames. Seriously, why are you even reading a bad recap about 2 teams who will miss the playoffs. Move on...

Sharks beat the Flames, 2-1: Joe Thornton found Dan Boyle on the power play to get the sharks out to a 1-0 lead. Boyle put the one-timer high glove, back from where the pass came from. A very very very good shot. Later Jarome Iginla did a stop move that froze the D and Nabakov and then he ripped a wrist shot through both sets of legs. Great innovative skill. Cheechoo got the game winner. Simple, hard hitting, playoff-type game.

Really, NHL? Really?

You're going to use Sean Avery in your marketing campaigns? Really sends the right message. Maybe its NBC's copy, but the email was sent to me from NHL@news.nhl.com. Also check out the subject line: Watch Sean Avery, Henrik Lundqvist and the Rangers continue their fight for the playoffs against the Flyers this Sunday on NBC! Lundqvist gets second billing behind a guy who just joined there team? Really? Maybe they went in alphabetical order. I guess the really sad thing is that on the NHL's marquee franchise there isn't another marketable player. If only Mission didn't get bought, we would have taken Scott Gomez to the top!

What you missed last night while you were convincing Carla not to make sou-anything

Maple Leafs beat the Rangers in the shoot-out, 2-1: Tort's debut did not go as well as possible. Worst case for him - he can't even blame the goalie. If only Lundquist had let in the soft backhand by Blake that waltzed (Joe Betinati!) along the goal line. Anyway, TSN already has a poll up about what player will be in Tort's doghouse first. I vote for Dubinsky.

Red Wings beat the Sharks, 4-1: Hossa had a great goal. He protected the not-yet-his puck, with a nice post up move and then the quick shot beat Nabakov through the legs. He later got crushed by the guy he beat (Doug Murray) and left the game. Ville Leino (yes, another Scandinavian stud) scored a beaut by knocking the puck out of mid-air. And of course Zetterberg was so Zberg by scoring a spin shorty far side. Will the Sharks face the Wings in the playoffs? And if so can they beat them? Find out this May!

Penguins shut out the Islanders, 1-0: The chant "You are awful" could have applied to both teams. To the Islanders for the Jayvee style they played. And to the Penguins for only scoring once.

Flyers shut-out the Kings, 1-0: Ways in which the Flyers should determine their starting goaltender:

• % of owners who have the keeper in Yahoo! Fantasy leagues
• coin flip
• GAA during warmups
• open net shoot-out

Blog Survey

A little while ago ESPN conducted an NHL player survey and blah blah blah you've probably read it already.

The only question that was really interesting was Question 3: IF YOU COULD CHANGE LIVES WITH ANOTHER PLAYER, WHO WOULD IT BE?

The NHL players surveyed picked Ovy. We are more interested in what our 6 readers have to say.

Below are the results of the ESPN survey in order of number of votes. We've included a short description of the players to get the thought process started. Don't feel limited by the players on this list. The entire league roster is up for debate.

Ovechkin - best player in the league

Lecavalier - set for life, 6'4 220lbs.

Sakic - unquestioned leader, Cup champion

Lidstrom - 4 Cups, bunch of Norris trophies, Swedish girls

Thornton - 6'4 230lbs+, gets to play in San Jose

Crosby - face of the NHL, really good at hockey

Mike Fisher - dates Carrie Underwood

Modano - American hero, married to Willa Ford

Chelios - still alive

Comrie - dates Hillary Duff

Iginla - probably has a bigger dick than you

Kovalev - "most talented", flies planes

Lundquist - cleans up in NYC, probably kills in Sweden

S. Niedermayer - 4 time Cup winner (?), perma-playoff beard

I don't know how to post an actual poll so leave a comment if you want to opine.

-Nemmy