What you missed last night while you had the Versus game on mute because you can't listen to Joe Beninati or you will light yourself on fire

Instead of awful play-by-play is listened to the new Black Keys album, "Blakroc" Its solid.

Anyway, I've been away for a while. First I was here:
That the Perrito Moreno glacier in Argentina. I know, I took a early winter vacation to see more ice. After my South American jaunt, I flew back for my cousin's wedding. So it was pretty much 2 weeks without hockey. It was weird.

Anyway, onto last nights games:

Leafs shut-out the Canadiens, 3-0: Joey MacDonald and The Monster combined for the shut-out. Gustavsson had to leave after the first because of an elevated hear-rate. Ok. The Canadiens stink and to shake up their line up they traded Kyle Chipchura to the Ducks for a 4th round pick. Here's what you need to do Gainey, trade Price.

Sharks beat the Senators, 5-2: Its not the same when you face your old team at your new team's barn. This game should have been about the return of Milan Milchalek - he was studdly last night. 2 goals to Heatley's zero. Did Cheechoo even play?

Hawks beat the BJs in the shoot-out, 4-3: The thousand round shoot-out was boring. The best move/goal of the night went to Versteeg. On the first goal he had not one, but two toe drags to beat Jackets' d-men and then slid the puck past Mason.

Kings win over the Ducks, 4-3: Correy Perry had a sick tip-in goal and now has a 19 game point streak. The first goal of the Kings featured the sickest backhand sauce pass and subsequent knock down I have ever seen

What you missed last night while you were coming up with bad top 10 lists

Penguins beat the Hurricanes in the shoot-out 3-2: 2 best young goalies in the NHL + 2 fast, skilled teams = GREAT hockey game. This highlight sums it up:


Rangers beat the Kings, 4-2: Are these really the 2 hottest teams in the NHL right now? I smell a conspiracy - NY and LA, come on! It was an entertaining game. Gabby scored with his patented no-release snipe. Lundqvist is the Ranger's D.

Blackhawks beat the Oilers, 4-3: Khabibulin played well against his old teammates, but just couldn't get it done. Chicago's offense is a well-oiled machine. When they aren't scoring pretty goals, they get gritty a la Jack Skille's goal.

Stars shut-out the Predators, 6-0: Marty Turco uses the 2 pad slide very liberally.

Ducks beat the Wild, 3-2: Corey Perry scored 2 really really nice goals. The backhand, reachback move on his first was great invention. The snipe for goal 2 is just really really good skill.

What you missed last night while you were angrily watching Jim and Pam's wedding

Its Friday, so its back to Hockey Haikus. There were a ton of games last night.


Flames beat the Oilers in the shoot-out, 4-3:
Khabibulin has
problems late in the third. He
is probably drunk.

Sharks beat the BJs, 6-3:
Heatley got the trick.
Joe had four assists. The Sharks
need the same in May.

Senators beat the Islanders in OT, 3-2:
Okposo had a
sweet goal. Pascal Leclaire's pads are sweet.
Does anyone care?

Penguins beat the Flyers, 5-4:
Would you really be
surprised if Hartnell does like
the taste of humans?

Rangers beat the Capitals, 4-3:
After Henrik's brain
fart, Gabby scores. When will his
groin finally break?

Thrashers win over the Blues, 4-2:
The commentator
call Tkachuk, "Big Walt." That's the
Best. Nickname. Ever.

Red Wings beat the Hawks, 3-2:
This game wasn't close
to being sold out. Detroit
has mad problems, yo.

Devils beat the Lightning in the shoot-out, 4-3:
Stamkos will not have
a sophmore slump. His release
is "lightning" fast. HA!

Predators beat the Avalanche, 3-2:
Nashville has a real
sneaky home-ice advantage.
Duchene is mad fast.

Sabres win over the Coyotes, 2-1:
Is there anyone
outside of Buffalo that
cared about this game?

Ducks beat the Bruins, 7-1:
"Perry scored off his
head. Boston sucks,"says Nemmy
in text from last night.

Kings win over the Wild, 6-3:
So far this season,
the Kings get big leads, then lose
them, but win the game.

The Final 4... series that is

Bruins vs Hurricanes:

• Besides the Rangers, this is the best match-up the Bruins could have asked for. Cam Ward might be able to steal a game, but Eric Staal is going to face Zdeno Chara every freaking game, so who knows how much Carolina will be able to score.
• Bruins in 6

Capitals vs Penguins:

• The only guarantee besides Pierre Maguire creaming himself while being between these benches is that you will see some great hockey.
• The key to this series is Simeon Varlamav - Is he to dumb to realize where he is or will the pressure get to him. Caps fans, if you see Theodore in net, the series is over.
• Penguins in 7

Red Wings vs Ducks

• This series has all the makings for an upset for the Wings
• Hot goalie, physical team, and superhot scoring line on the Ducks might chase Osgood.
• I'm going to follow Scotty's logic though (I know) - In seven games can anyone beat the best?
• Red Wings in 7

Canucks vs Blackhawks

• Probably the best goaltending match up of the 4 series
• I like the youth and scoring of the Hawks over the experience and grit of the Canucks
• Blackhawks in 7

Here is the leaderboard after the 1st round (put your 2nd round picks in the comments)

Bress – 28

Cornelius– 40

Nemmy – 24

Mr. W – 22

Moe -31

Heals – 27 (swept the east)

Brando – 17

Lars – 16

Alex – 51

Mac – 24

Hark -31

What you missed last night while were getting checked out for swine flu

Blackhawks beat the Flames, 4-1 (CHI wins series 4-2): The best Flame on the ice last night was Todd Bertuzzi. That was the problem for the Flames. Jarome, really didn't show up for the last 2 games of the series. Patrick Kane showed up. Khabibulin definitely showed up. And Dustin whose last name I can't spell, really showed up last night. The Flames could be the new Sharks (if the Sharks weren't still the Sharks) if they don't win a first round series again. The matchup against Vancouver should be another exciting series. Both the Canucks and the Blackhawks are fast, young, and gritty.

Ducks beat the Sharks, 4-1 (ANH wins series 4-2): Great fight Thornton, how about scoring a point? Getlaf lost that battle, but won the war. The fake shot on the point during the powerplay, opened up the lane to get the puck on net, where Corey Perry got a goal. Later, Getzlaf got his passport to Snipe City stamped again when he ripped a goal to comple the Gordy Hat Trick and put the nail in the coffin. Up next is the Red Wings for the Ducks. I'll have to really think about who I want to take in that one.