So...

Here's something I tweeted a week ago just as I felt the rug coming out from under me:

"Being fan of the Bruins can be fun as long as you know you'll eventually get crushed. It's like having sex with Oprah. - t2ma"

Called it!

Here's an earlier tweet that really sums up the Bruins season:

"Turnovers and letting in goals with less than a minute to play: 2
signs of bad pee-wee hockey. Be better. - t2ma"

Even though the Bruins fought past the Sabres and got up on Philly I sneaky knew that the bs turnovers and tendencies like allowing goals late in periods would catch up to them. Those are signs of a rudderless operation and it's not that much of a shock that they ended up making history.

But even watching this team all season and knowing that the emperor was nude I still thought the Bruins would tie it late in the game and force OT. You know why? Because I'm an ASSHOLE. I never learn. I root for teams that don't give a shit yet it crushes me when they don't give a shit. And I'm such an asshole that I'll do the same thing next season. I'm actually looking forward to watching this team turn Taylor or Tyler into a men's league player. I can't wait until I convince myself that a Ryder or Wheeler or Wideman will snap into it and start killing shit. I can't wait until I'm crying into my beer wondering why some of Recchi's man button can't rub off on one of the other forwards.

Normally when I complain about the Bruins Bressler snaps me back into reality with his Islanders talk. So I'm done complaining.

Congrats to the Flyers who have a 2-0 choke hold on the Canadiens and look as strong as ever. Wasn't it a month ago that there were reports that the dressing room was a mess and didn't they fire their coach this year and don't they have an 8th string goalie who hasn't been scored on in 57 periods and wasn't Simon Gagne injured? I'm not sure what is going on. All I know is that the Flyers are strong, balanced and there is no situation where they are out of the fight. That's scary and I hope they smoke the Hawks in the Cup final.

I'm going to see Pearl Jam this Friday with Flyer fan, Mr. W. on Friday. We wouldn't speak to each other during the series so I'm hoping he lets me cry on his shoulder.



- Nemmy

What you missed last night because you watched the other game

The Canadiens beat the Pens 5-2, move onto the ECF

Can someone remind the Canadiens that they are the 16th seed and shouldn't be chopping down trees like this? Halak is awesome but the Habs' success isn't all him. Gionta and Cammalleri are playing inspired hockey and that ragtag group of defensemen got it done vs Crosby and Co.

Montreal was up 2-0 by the end of the first and I thought Twitter was going to explode. When Montreal went up 4-0 you could practically hear restaurants on Ste. Catherine street boarding up windows. How does Travis Moen skate past Serge Gonchar for that shorty? What is this world coming to? Credit to the Pens for getting back to 4-2 after Fleury was yanked but they never had their car in this one. Someone pointed out that Montreal won the first and final games at the Igloo. Last one out hit the lights.

Long summer for Crosby & Malkin who wont get passes for falling down in the 2nd round. Can anyone explain what happened to Fleury? It can't be all about Scuderi and Gill. Nothing is ever about Hal Gill.

Philly beats Boston 2-1, forces Game 7

Let me tell you something about the Flyers: they get it. When facing elimination and with a backup's backup in net they blocked everything put toward the net, outskated and outworked the Bruins and dictated the pace. The Bruins needed to step on some throats but instead gave up pucks, played uninspired hockey and only showed a sense of urgency in the 3rd period.

Mike Richards is no longer trying to kill guys at the expense of goals. He's picking his spots and the team is rallying around him. The first goal was all about his line having bigger balls than the Bruins. Briere's goal was another second effort type goal where he just had too much man button for the Boston D. I can't really fault Tuukka on the shot.

Lucic brought the Bruins to within 1 with 1:00 left in the game. Leighton struggled with the puck at times and Wideman's knuckle curve gave him rebound trouble.

I've gotten multiple calls and texts from friends checking up on me. My favorite was my buddy telling me that if I haven't jumped out the window yet he has a place for me to sleep in Beantown on Friday. Thank you. I'm good, everyone.

You can't think of it as the Flyers streaking toward Game 7 or Boston stumbling to the first tee. This is a new series now. Tortorella says that momentum doesn't carry over in playoff games. I believe it. The slate is wiped clean in Game 7 and nothing else matters. Scored a sick goal in Game 1? So what. Had 45 saves in Game 3? Whatever. Game 7 is the playoff's playoff. Game 1 heroics don't get you pussy if you bow in Game 7.

It comes down to Friday night. The bully has now backed you into a corner. There is no getting around him. Your 2 options are to lie down or power through. Either way someone is hitting the floor. Don't let it be you.

- Nemmy

So...

The Price is Right Losing Horns sound bite  The Price is Right sound bites

Try to forget that the Bruins just got crushed at home on Bobby Orr's statue day by a team that lost it's tender to injury.

Think about this:
If before the series I told you the Bruins would be up 3-2 heading into Philly to close out in Game 6 would you have taken it?

- Nemmy

Bruins/Sabres Game 6 Live Blog

So I've never live blogged anything before. I've already had a misspelling on the tweet I sent out announcing this so we're already effed.

This is Game 6 but for all intents and purposes it's a Game 7 for Boston. If they can't win at home and let Buffalo with Vanek win in their barn and go back home on a streak they'll be golfing Thursday morning.

I have the NHL Center Ice feed for tonight as Versus is showing the Montreal/DC game. I have Jack Edwards and Brick and a Tony's plate from Eva's in front of me.

Reminder: No Savvy tonight. Cooke is still a cocksucker.

Vanek is in for the Sabres after missing the last 3 games with a "lower body injury". His ankle has more tape on it than Lex Steele so maybe they should just say "ankle injury" going forward.

Anthem time. Idiots in the mardi gras masks should still take off their hats.


Miller vs Rask has been the best showdown of the first round. It might have something to do with how bad both teams are offensively.

Claude versus Lindy sounds like in-fighting between 2 guys in a barbershop quartet.

Good pace to start the game. Tyler Ennis has turned into Mike Bossy in this series out of nowhere. He gets a decent scoring chance early on.

As soon as Vanek hits the ice the Bs take a cross checking penalty. Begin sits.

Patty Berg with a great read on the kill and tries a spin move 1 on 1. The German picks up the loose puck and rings the post. Crowd is going apeshit. What a start.

Bs kill is so aggressive. Hard to believe Paille was bad enough to get dumped to Boston earlier this season. He gives me a PJ Axelsson warm fuzzy on the PK.

So far we've picked up right where we left off at the end of Game 5. A couple of pig piles and people hanging off of Chara. Tonight will be fun.

BTW I spent whatever amount on the NHL Center Ice package and I can't see this game in HD. So weak.

I have no idea if I'm doing this live-blog correctly. We'll find out tomorrow I guess.

First commercial break and I'm sweating more than Shawn Thronton.

Satan gets into Myers's grill for a little. We used to call him the softest player in the league but now I'm not so sure. Myers is 8 ft tall that took some balls. Kessel would have ran away.

Bruins shooting from all angles. Love the desperation. This is Game 7 let's have a sense of urgency.

Satan with another body hit. Guys are fired up!

Bruins finally discovered that some of their better skating Dmen should be pinching when they can. Changes everything when they can keep pressure.

9:55 left and Kaleta just stuck Rask. Still 0-0 and my Tony's plate was gone 4 minutes ago.

Lucic highlights show him getting out of the corner and firing a shot on net. That's his game. His game is also throwing the puck blindly into bad spots. He needs to be more consistent.

Rask is shining. Bruins are sloppy and if Jack Edwards was watching me devour that Tony's plate he'd be screaming the preamble to the Constitution by now.

Almost want Wideman to take a penalty so the Bs can generate some offense.

Spoke too soon. Sabres get called for interference. PP time.

Johhny Boychuk (with the best name in all sports) with a one-time blast into Miller. This guys is making the Bs wish they didn't pay Ferrence all that money.

SICK SICK SICK redirect by Krejci!!! 1-0 good guys!!

Recchi basically scored off of David's blade. What a Savvy-esque setup. I'm shocked Boston scored first.

BTW Scotty and I just got back from a buddy's bachelor party weekend. He was listed earlier today with a "total body injury". 3 days 4 nights is too much for a sustained bachelor party.

And the group of guys we were with partied just like the Bruins played this season: at all times I was equally impressed, disgusted and amused by what I was seeing.

5 mins to go Bruins outshooting the Sabres 10-9. Make it 10-10 with lots of after-whistle salt.

Kaleta is such a cunt. He's driving me crazy.

Lindy Ruff has the pissed-off Dennis the Menace look down pat. Kaleta still a cunt.

Ice needs repairs.

If Kaleta was at this weekend's bachelor party he'd be the guy that ate out a stripper.

Lucic is being very measty on the Krejci line. Wheeler is involved too. Good strong pace with 2:04 left before I can put down this laptop that's burning a hole in my penis.

Sneaky good to see Nate Gerbe on the ice for Buffalo. That's a win for little guys like me.

Some end to end action with blasts from Myers and a chance by Sturm on the other end. 27.5 to go.

Tallinder knocks the puck over the glass for a delay call. Bruins will finish up the 1st up a man and start the meat of the PP with clean ice. Things are really going strong.

Great salt at the end of the first with Lucic and Montador in each others face. Looks like Lucic got a little too aggressive with dickhead Gaustad and took a minor.

I'm done here and I'm almost out of battery. This laptop sucks power and heats up my crotch to the point that we can freebase off my genitals.

1-0 Bruins with the Bs looking a little hungrier than the Sabres. Kathryn Tappen is wearing a smart blue blazer thing and I need to go to the bathroom. I'll keep some commenting up on Twitter (t2ma). Should I be happy that Pat Kaleta was just added to my fiance's hate fuck list? Not sure at this point.

Sorry for the typos. Enjoy the rest of the game.

- Nemmy

Stay off the trolly tracks...

- Nemmy

8 vs 9

A year ago at this time the Bruins were doing coke with natural-breasted rippers on speedboats. What a difference a year makes as tonight they play the post trade deadline Atlanta Thrashers in order to stay relevant. Shit happens. Instead of sitting around wondering how the hell the Coyotes are the team to beat in the West let's watch a few clips of guys ripping slappers on penalty shots.



Chara gets in so close before opening up. Scary. We all know his shot from the high slot is over 100 mph. How fast was this one travelling? It's like when ESPN shows us how hard the 12 year olds in the LLWS throw and then give us the equivalent from an MLB mound. Whatever.



Vanek is sick. He really makes it look so easy. He seems to freeze Huet (or whoever) on his back swing. Very Ernie Els-like.



Hossa rips top shelf. Sorry for the remix video but it's all I could find of this awesome clip. Dirtiness.

Thrashers host Bruins at 7.
Boola-Boola




- Nemmy

Bruins Blog Roundtable

We recently participated in NESN's Bruins Blog Roundtable fielding questions about the current state of my beloved Bs.

Even though everyone calls me Nemmy I'm up on the site as "Dan". That's cool too. Not all of my answers were posted so I'll paste all my answers. Everything in italics I just wrote in as after-the-fact commentary.

1. What aspect of the Bruins' game must improve for them to be Stanley Cup
contenders?
Every aspect must improve. The Bs don't have a shut-down defense that can keep them in games when they are only scoring 2 goals or less. Tuukka has been strong but it would be asking a lot from him to steal multiple games from teams like the Pens or Caps.

The way Thomas played the other night made me think that the Tank Engine could steal games in the postseason. Then I remembered that he was facing Toronto. If I threw on my Mylec street hockey pads and a jai alai cesta I could keep the Leafs under 2 goals.

2. How did Peter Chiarelli and the Bruins do at the trade deadline?
It seemed like it was a sellers market so we're happy that the Bruins didn't give up too much yesterday. Trading for a sniper would have been great but we'll settle with upgrading the D and not giving up valuable picks.

I wanted to blast the Bs for not acquiring some help for that first line but selling the farm to rent Kovy wasn't going to make things better. You bolster teams at the deadline and the Bruins need more than 1 or 2 pieces.

3. Both Tim Thomas and Tuukka Rask are performing well. Who do you feel
should be relied upon for the remainder of the year?
The Bs should go with the hot hand down the stretch and right now it is Tuukka's net to lose. If suiting up Satan will help win games then Claude should start him.

I sent this in before Tuukka injured his knee. I hope my response didn't jinx things. Also when I wrote that Satan should start in net if needed I didn't mean Miro Satan, I meant the actual lord of darkness. In every picture I've seen of the Devil he has sick horns and muscles 1,000. Would the league let him put a blocker on his tail and dominate?

4. Will the Olympic break help or hurt the Bruins?
Krejci was a beast in Vancouver so if he can keep up that level of play it will certainly help the squad. But all in all, the added rest for injured Bruins will be totally offset by the added wear and tear on Chara and Bergeron during the Olympics.

For real. Chara looks like he wants to lay on a humongous couch and somehow Bergeron injured his groin while taking 5 faceoffs in Vancouver. Not a great sign.

5. Are the Bruins better than, worse than, or exactly as their record
indicates?
We would like to say that the Bruins are better than their record indicates because, with the exception of Rask, the entire lineup is underperforming. But maybe last season was too good to be true. We aren't sure right now.

Look at me using the 2Man royal we. Can someone do a polite golf clap at your desk for that one? BTW I was told to keep the answers short but everyone else on the site went yard with their responses. But if you are a reader of this site you already know that I can't write anything of length because my weak grasp of the English language. Thanks to Evan at NESN.com for the look.

- Nemmy

Ship B Sinking

Watching the Boston Bruins play this weekend killed any part of me that thought this team could make a run at the cup.

In 2 must win games they looked indifferent against the Senators and got smoked by the Hurricanes. Wideman can't hit the net or put a pass together. Chara hasn't brought any physical edge. Thomas is trying to do too much. Krejci is sleepwalking. Bergeron is the only one who is breaking a sweat. Not one Bruin forward sent a puck deep, not one Bruin defenseman put together a clean D-to-D pass, not one Bruin defenseman held the blue line during whatever offensive burst the Bruins could muster, not one Bruin forward beat his man to the puck, not one defenseman picked up a body in front of his net, and there wasn't one second of aggression from anyone on the roster. No fights, no scrums NOTHING. Forget about blocking shots! If it wasn't for Kathryn Tappen's breasts all would be lost. Thanks for showing up.

The Bruins are now in a log jam to sneak into the playoffs but in reality they aren't even in the conversation. It doesn't matter that we have 30+ games to play or that Savard returns or maybe that Begin, Bitz and Sturm are getting healthy. To be completely honest, if you are waiting for Steve Begin and Byron Bitz to come back to add a spark to your lineup then I don't know what to tell you. And don't tell me that Sturm will return and get paired with Savard to regain his scoring touch - we've been through that before.

The only thing the Bruins have going for them is that the rest of the teams involved in the race are whatever. But the Bruins don't deserve it. They don't play with heart and refuse to do the necessary things that winning teams do. The Islanders don't wow anyone with their lineup but those guys play balls out. I'm ready to see what picks the Bruins get this summer.

But I'm not giving up hope yet (because I'm a RETARD!).

How soon until the Olympics?

- Nemmy

Crib Notes - Boston Bruins

Boston Bruins
Last season - Finished 1st in the Northeast, Lost in round 2 of the playoffs to Carolina
Lost physical D Steve Montador to Buffalo via free agency
Lost physical D Shane Hnidy to Dallas via free agency
Lost veteran C Stephane Yelle to Carolina via free agency
Traded D Aaron Ward to Carolina for Pat Eaves (who was subsequently dropped)
Singed D Derek Morris with the money from the Ward salary dump
Signed rugged Steve Begin via free agency
Signed Andy Wozniewski - bottom story of the year
Resigned Vezina winner Timmy Thomas, David Krejci, Byron Bitz, and Mark Recchi.

Questions going into 2009-2010:
What the hell is happening with Phil Kessel's contract situation?
Can Peter Chiarelli trade resign Kessel by making room on the roster?
Can Tim Thomas possibly keep this level of play up?
Will this be the Michael Ryder letdown season?
Will injuries to Phil Kessel (shoulder) and David Krejci (hip) have any effect on this season?
Will Savard go Kill Bill on the league because he's pissed about the Canadian Olympic camp snub?
Can't the Bruins only decline from last year's regular season success?
Can Marco Sturm stay healthy and pot some goals so Bruins fans can feel somewhat ok about losing Jumbo?
How the hell are we going to get tix for the Winter Classic this year?
Who gets to Scott Walker first?

Poised for a breakout season:
Because I think David Krejci had a breakout season last year I'm going with Blake Wheeler. He was good in spots last season but will put it together in 2009-10.

If you had to buy one Bruins sweater:
My girlfriend wants a Chara sweater. Does it make me gay if I do her while she's wearing it?

Player whose game you sneaky like:
Marc Savard is pretty much hated by the rest of the league but you have to admit he dishes the puck as good as Adam Oates or Craig Janney ever did.
I'm a Bruins fan so I'll give you a player whose game I sneaky don't like: Phil Kessel. He's got a nasty release but is too soft in the corners and reaches too much.

If you name your children this they can only grow up to become hockey players:
Johnny Boychuk and Andy Bodnarchuk

Old guys:
Recchi is 41
Thomas is 35
Chara and Savard are 32

Young guys:
Lucic and Kessel are 21
Krejci and Wheeler are 23
Patrice Bergeron is 24.

Tough guys:
Lucic is an animal. Shawn Thornton polices.

Worst part about losing Shane Hnidy:
Not hearing super homer announcer Jack Edwards say "SHERIFF Shane Hnidy" at the top of his lungs.

Goaltending coach:
Bob Essensa


Nostalgia:
Cam Neely is in his 2nd year as Bruins Vice President

Interesting?:
The Bruins will unveil their new Winter Classic jersey next week.

NHL 94 players:
Oates, Neely, Joe Juneau up front - 1,000
Ray Bourque and Glen Wesley on D with Andy Moog in net.
Loved it when slow-ass Vladimir "Rosy" Ruzicka came off the bench.

YouTube:
Unbelievable short video about the Canadien/Bruin rivalry. I watched this 45 times today and I'm ready to roll.



- Nemmy

Good Morning

Once you're done drooling over Blake Lively's legs take a look at the shirt on Ben Affleck. I want that for Christmas.



Strong.

- Nemmy

Losing

When I was a young pup one of my Little League teams went the summer without a win. When you are 11 years old all you want to do is have fun with your friends, wins some games and get a trophy. Winning wasn’t life or death for me back then but getting beat day after day can really crush a kid's spirit.

After one of the many losses that year my mother took me aside and tried to comfort me saying that as the years go on losing will get easier to handle. She was right.

Losing (in whatever form) is still has painful as it ever was. That won’t change. The fact that it’s a binary occurrence and that some other jackass wins while I lose makes me saltier as I get older.

What got easier through the years is being wise enough to put things in perspective. I’ll still sleep like shit after mens league defeats or get pissy if I lose to a buddy in ping pong but realizing that the world doesn’t end because of a loss is probably what my mother was talking about.

That being said I’m crushed about the Bruins losing last night. I don’t know why I take these things so personally but I do and I’ve been sick to my stomach all morning. We were talking last night about the time I walked home from Grand Central after a heartbreaking Mets loss and I couldn’t even name which disastrous, soul-crushing loss it was. There have been about 5 in the last 10 years that qualify.

After one particular Mets collapse I remember waiting in the bathroom line (in a puddle, no less) where a guy looked at me after he was done with the urinal and said, “What? It’s not like this is the worst loss you’ve seen”. The guy didn’t even know me yet gave me one of the best come-to-Jesus talks in my career.

Perspective comes with age. It also helps when you lose a lot. This old salty Mets urinal guy had seen his share of disappointment and that helped soften each marginal blow. I bet my Mom knew because of the teams I rooted for and that I couldn’t hit Little League pitching that I was set up for some lean times in the years ahead. I should be a fucking pro at dealing with losing by now.

I have my special method.

First: I allow myself to be miserable for just a little bit. It’s ok to keep away from stuff that reminds me of the loss and to distract myself for a small period of time. I don’t let this last too long because I’m not the fucking lead singer of Staind.

Second: It’s time to meet the disappointment head on. I let the loss into my apt, let it crash on my couch. I let the loss drink all my booze and take over the bed. I let it make a mess and leave toe nail clippings in my sink. I let the loss answer my cell phone and swear at my friends. It’s important to let this loss run my shit for a little while because I want to hate that loss. I need to let it sink into the blood and make me physically ill. Losing is like a nerve gas, in order to detect it early and prevent it from killing you, one needs to be exposed to it.

Third: I wait one day when the loss is feeling the most comfortable in my place and I sneak up on it and choke that mufu to the ground. I drag the loss into the kitchen where I fashion its bones into arrowheads. I keep those arrowheads in my pocket and get them ready to fire at my next opponent.

So being 27 years old I now know that just because the Bruins or my rec hockey team gets knocked out of the playoffs its doesn’t mean that the world is on fire. There are teams whose seasons end much earlier and guys that got slew-footed by some asshole who are laid up on their hot older girlfriend’s coach right now. Shit, the kid from Slumdog got his house taken from him the other day. At the end of the day it’s really only a game.

But the losses still hurt and they should hurt. If it wasn’t a complete nightmare to lose then the day that I get to shoot my arrow wouldn’t feel so good. Maybe next year.

- Nemmy

P.S. The Mets suck this year.

As you were furiously racing out of the bottom...

Thanks for ultimate Beer Pong. Scott and Green in the aftermath of Heavy Bike on my parents driveway with a suite at the bottom.

Yea so the Bruins lost. Nemy is pissed and the bottom is still no where in sight. Stick with turkey and a chipotle mayo until we find it. It's their own fault, they should have never let it get to 7. Detroit almost blew it as well. Game 7's are game 7's for a reason. I cannot believe that Scott Walker put it in. That was a negative hemoglobin shot for Nemy. It was his girlfriends bday yesterday and when Walker scored he turned and I didn't see him again until roller hockey that is slated for later.

The level...the shear level of snap toewys that will occur later barring rain, other roller games, kids and anything else that can possibly go wrong will be immense. That court is almost like my college locker room to me. Shirts off, tits up and blockers on!

If you had to choose a Carolina Dman and a Chicago Dman who would they be? Duncan Keith, Soupy, Babchuk, Corvo, Pitkanen? Black Guerin?

Leonard continues to predict Detroits domination over the rest of the NHL. As of right now, it looks as though it will be a rematch of last years cup with Marion Hossa on the other side this time. Imagine if they lose to the Penguins? That would be ridiculous. If they win, it just shows Hossa's proper choice. Anaheim made them look human. Is Chicago really ready to beat this team 4 times? Is Pitt or Carolina? Dan Cleary got it done last night. Imagine when Datsyuk gets going and Hossa ignites? Last night was the closest that they come to losing again until the playoffs next season. Yes I know...very bullish on Detroit.


Just a simple snap toewy for the road people.


This is probably a close representation of Nemy at work today a day after a second round game 7 loss. Just pushing it as far and wide as he can.

Nemy stormed out of the bar last night better than Timmy Thomas does after a shoot-out loss. No joke! My girlfriend just kept saying the whole cab ride back, "I feel so bad for Nemy! I feel so bad for him!" Than she made me a grill cheese before bed. Gotta love hockey and gotta love that girl.

Gotta hate that there is no puck on til Sunday afternoon.

Friends of the 2man Heals and Mac are heading in to town. Well you know how that goes.

Have a safe and a healthy weekend people.

- Zelli

Game 7

Do you think that as a fan you have the ability to jinx your team?

I do. I’m a Boston Bruins fan and I am an idiot.

I’m that guy who thinks that I have some control over the outcome of sporting events. It sounds ridiculous and I’m trying to get over it but it’s been hard for me. I swear to you that outside of sports I am a reasonably normal.

Tonight, during the biggest game of the season for the Boston Bruins, I will be out to dinner. Normally I would be a complete trainwreck at the thought of missing any part of this game. BUT I am fine with it for 2 reasons:

1) I’m going to dinner with my girlfriend for her birthday. I have been looking forward to this night for a little while and it should be great. While I love my Bruins, only P.J. Axelsson has been with me longer than I’ve known my girlfriend and PJ and I aren’t that close. Things would be different if I were going to a cousin's wedding that I don't really like.

2) I can’t jinx the Bruins by missing a portion of the game because jinxes don’t exist.

You know what I found interesting about Claude Julien and Zdeno Chara’s comments to the press yesterday? They didn’t mention me. Seriously, not once did they mention that the key to Game 7 would be if I got up to use the men’s room during an icing or if I was even watching at all. And I’m not some ultra secret weapon that they don’t talk about or anything; I am of no consequence to the outcome of this game.

Not a news flash, right? But this is tough to get though my head considering that I’m a douche. My mother called me 2 days ago to make sure that I would behave myself during Game 7. She said that she was watching a bit of the Bruins Game 6 with my father and wondering if I was watching in the fetal position like I did when I was a kid. I’ve been an idiot my entire life.

Tonight all that shit changes. I know I won’t jinx the Bruins if I go out to a dinner and drinks. It’s not like I haven’t missed games before and − with the game starting at 8PM − I ‘m not even sure that I’ll be missing any part of this game. After dinner I may take my time getting in front of a tv. I may try out that shiny juicer I bought my girlfriend with a few berries or apples or we may decide to get naked. She’ll close her eyes and pretend I’m Brody Jenner and I’ll close my eyes and think about Cam Neely putting a slapshot past Darren Puppa. It’ll be great.

Afterwards I will get to the tv and watch the Bruins launch into a 2nd round matchup with the Penguins. If disaster strikes I'll take it like a man.

Either way whatever I do tonight won’t affect the outcome. Only a moron would think they could have some hand in the game.

Let’s go Bruins.

- Nemmy


Unless of course this whole post is some early shock and awe campaign designed to unjinx the future jinx of me missing some of the first period. Hiss.

Saturday and those who followed thru...

Featured here is Jay-Guard and Weens over something that we will bring back this summer once more time.

Last night we nested with Ness and than watched the Bruins crumble in game 4. Somebody is gonna light a match in that locker room and they'll get going. We followed thru on a bottle of Sky and than went to a usual spot of ours that was too crowded so we went somewhere else. Two budweisers each and a polite reference by the waitress of my inadequacy of a shirt which was ample, at least by my standards.





So Tsioma, Nemy and I got up and headed to the hospital around high noon today to visit Lester with a splitting headache and a sadness that lingers like the movie RoboCop does in my life. If you haven't seen this movie your reaction to Kurtwood Smith's character who also plays the dad in That 70s show plays a bad ass motha in this. Awesome!





One of the best sci-fi movies of American culture for all time...believe it or not...sneaky. Up there with Predator and Star Wars (Bress called Star Wars a Space Western which I really enjoyed). The only reason I bring it up is because Nemy is right when he said I cannot go more than a few days without bringing up Cop. See the movie if you haven't.

This is a car commerctial for the 6000 SUX fake sports ride in the movie. Yea I know. After this you get to see a Joe Sakic Snap Toewy.








Today after the hospital everyone was just phoned out for Bress so we called the Roller game, not that we had anyone really coming anyway. However I needed a skate so I rolled over to Houston St. and burned some rubber for a while. Bunch of nice kids over there and Timmy Robbins was out. I played with 3 other guys in a 4 on 4 garbage can with a Z-puck game and we rolled hard for liek 5 or 6 games straight unbeaten until the cotton mouth from my activity prior to the game led to an ultimate breakdown of breathing for me so well the streak ended.

Just as I was about to leave Tim Robbins and this other guy I know from my gym who is a die hard Penguins fan needed another for their skate so needless to say I had to play. Hit Tim with a sweet pass that he hit the edge of the can with from Way out...one timed too. I than proceeded to fall and get some good razz action on my forearm. One guy on me team says thats a nice one and I looked at him and Tim and said at this point I don't even care...one of my best buds broke his leg in two places in men's league and I'm a joke. I than gave Tim Robbins a pound and said, "It's an honor to play with you man, I really respect your work." Good sweat out there. Good Blueblockers, good jean shorts and 1000 dollars. Bress 1000 to you. Guy who sleufooted you and hasn't even tried to contact you even when Artem told their goalie the next night at another game what the results were on Bress, -1000 x 10.


People please submit what his punishment should be. Nothing physical but like maybe he buys Bress pizza every week til the cast comes off. Or a 6 pack a week. Or getting dropped off in Montauk naked in the middle of the night with no way of getting home after a carefully monitored schedule for weeks in advance by multiple people. Huge NYU hockey network in the big apple. Its awesome! Be safe tonight people. Throw a shot down for Nestea and Co.

- Nascency and Company

DK is comin for u dawg!

Nice Work, Dick

Way to go, Nemmy. Way to praise the Bruins for their effort. You didn't jinx the team or anything. Quick angry thoughts before I go to bed and/or assault a random stranger.

- Hard to tell the difference between the promos for the MTV Steve O drug addiction melt-down special and Andrew Ference's game highlights. Rusty players shouldn't get big minutes in this game.

- Stop freaking out about Eric Staal. The stats line doesn't show the whole story. I want to eat my own hand.

- Not one tape to tape pass from Chara tonight. Not one. I'm halfway out the window.

- Cam Ward was fantastic.

- In that ridiculous Enterprise rent-a-car commercial, why does the idiot dad rent a pickup truck to get supplies from the lumber yard? GET THE LUMBER DELIVERED. Watching the Bruins try to force soft passes through the neutral zone and watching some jackass rent a truck for the sole purpose of picking up some 2x4s is making my brain itch. I wish his daughter nails him with the hammer at the end.

- Thank Jesus the Family Guy we dvr'd was funny.

- And thank goodness it didn't take them 3 overtimes to lose.

- I'm not writing about the Bruins again until the season is over.

- Nemmy

Back to Work

Yikes. Apparently the only hole in the Bruins lineup is Marc Savard's beard. Savvy is one of the most gifted passers in the league but has a playoff beard that looks like Bressler's lower back (minus the tribal tramp stamp). Should I give him shit for the Michael Jackson facial hair or do I appreciate the fact that he's giving it everything he has? I'm not sure.

Huge game tonight with the Bruins hosting the Whale. Hopefully the layoff made the Bruins hungrier and they'll have a first period like Vancouver had last night.

You know what I was thinking about? After the Flyers were eliminated last week I politely waited a day or so to text our buddy, and Flyer fan, Matty to give my condolences. He said something to the fact that he was upset that he felt as though he wanted it more than most of the guys on the roster.

My stomach hurt when I thought about that. I know the feeling of wanting to win more than the guys you cheer for and it's the fucking worst. It's the reason why the overpaid Mets always break my heart and why I've fallen out of love with the Knicks. I'm sure it's a big reason why some people prefer college athletics to their professional counterparts.

I don't ask for much as a fan. I know my teams can't win every loose puck or always make the postseason. All I want is to root for a team that wants to win as much as I do. I cheer and worry and yell and scream and I want to be rewarded by having my team compete every shift, every night.

That's why I love this Boston squad as much as any other season's roster. Yes they've been wildly successful in the regular season and recently bounced the Canadiens in 4 but it's the effort, intensity and compete level that really make me proud. Everyone blocks shots, everyone finishes checks and everyone wants it. Up and down the roster you have guys that scratch and claw and make their fans proud. Tim Thomas looks funny hurling himself at pucks but the man has never given up on a play. The way he jets off the ice after giving up a walk-off goal? Yeah, that's how I look after they lose too. I love that about him.

Anything short of the Cup would be a letdown for this Boston team. I'll will suck if they don't get there but I know they'll stay in the hunt. Because, fuck it, if they lose I know they'll go down swinging. That's been this team's calling card all year and we even saw it in the way they hung tough in last year's postseason. Win or lose they make me proud.

Game 1 is tonight at 7:30.

Not without a fight.

Thanks for stopping by this week. Feel free to join up with our Facebook group, the friends of the 2 Man Advantage. Join up and let us know what we're doing right, wrong or not enough of.

Have a great weekend and thanks to Cornelius and his fantastic site for letting me steal that picture of Savard's lesbian beard.

- Nemmy