Breezers

Got anything to talk about? Nope? Let's talk about hockey pants.

The worst breezers in the NHL are the teams that go with the plain black style. The Flyers, Bruins, Avalanche, Sharks, Kings, Stars, and Devils do nothing.

The Devils went from those sick green with red striped pants to plain black pants.

Terrible move. The only way teams can get away with the solid colored pants is if the teams sweaters are elaborate like the Caps and the Predators.

If you have more simple jerseys like the Flyers or Devils throw a stripe and a logo on there.

Just like Detroit. Plain, simple, classic.

I like how the teams that do the throwback unis bring back sick looking pants. Edmonton and the Isles went the Canadiens route with great success.

Calgary not only had the best deep red in sports but added the yellow stripes.

The Pens used to have the solid yellow line then went boring with the solid black and now have the gold Thomas Pink gold triangle cut.

This style is kind of cool and works with the All-Star unis from 2008.

Not like the plain stars and lines in the worst All-Star pants in 1983

The Tackla pants with the logos down the side are too Euro looking even though I wore a pair like this in pee-wee.



When you have boring black pants this is how you make shit work: The Tampa Bay Lightning put a bolt down the side.

When you have boring black pants this is how you mess everything up: The Dallas Stars spelled out the city down the side.

Before they tried to put stars down and that looked dopey.

The only team to pull off the stars was the Caps. Scotty still has a pair of the white Tackla Capitals breezers with the red and blue stars and 2 stripes that I wear when I suit up for roller hockey goalie. Awesome pants but you have to be an amazing hockey player to wear them and not have everyone in the rink take a run at you.

The only other guy that should be run as much as the kid in the white pants is the kid who won't zip up the insides of his Tackla pants. The extra un-zipped room is for players to pull the pants up over your skates. The zippers aren't there because you are such a dynamic skater that you need the extra room for your Kariya-like stride. Zip that shit up, loser.

Ottawa also gets away with the plain black pants with one white and one red stripe. Solid.
Kind of like Chicago which gets it done all over the board.
Some teams try to add the stripe at the end of the pants like Columbus and Carolina. I don't like these because they both look like the players are wearing shells and we can see their black pants sticking out underneath.

The only two times I think the bottom stripes work. One is the New York Rangers because they have thin white and blue stripes on red breezers along with vertical stripes.


The other time the bottom stripe worked was with the Jets. Again it worked because of the red color and white stripe didn't make it look like it was a shell.

The Blues have pretty cool futuristic RBK pants but the curved stripe. Not a bad look.

The other strong new pants are the Coyotes because of the color, stripes and it has the moon logo. Every team should have some logo on the pants.

The Wild keep it real.

The Panthers should switch to these pants full-time. Sick color, one white stripe and the sneaky sun logo on the bottom. SICK.

The best breezers in my opinion were the CCM Supras. Classic pants, simple with the two white lines down the side.

The Kings made the most of having black pants when Gretzky wore the Supras with the white stripes and the logo.

Better than the classic New Jersey green breezers were the old Whalers pants. The Whale had plain green with the logo and the white stripes on the side. If they went with a blue stripe in there it would have been game over.

A big step up from this shit:
But the best pants were Supras that the Nordiques wore.

The best pants going unless you can get away with wearing no pants at all.

HeyO!

- Nemmy

So Bob McKenzie tried to ruin my weekend

Bob tweeted that the Bruins are looking to dish Marc Savard to Toronto in order to free up salary. Savard's makes $4MM against the cap. Great value right? I realize that the Bruins have too many centers and no cap space but can it really be that bad? Shoot Michael Ryder in the foot and wipe out his $4MM cap hit.

And until the Bruins make a terrible mistake and deal Savard for nothing please don't fuck with my emotions, Bob McKenzie.

Congrats if you were drafted this weekend. If we are still doing this blog in 5 years(let's hope not) we'll revisit the picks and find out who really won. Until then we can all be proud how many Americans were picked.

Instead of letting Bob McKenzie drain my bucket let's be happy. While this video is about last week's soccer game it's really worth seeing.


There's nothing like twisting and turning an entire game and then in one moment being lifted off your feet. Landon Donovan with a very Parise like finish. Magic.

Soccer isn't my favorite sport in the world but anything that gets a crowd of people ripping into a USA chant is fine by me.

Hold onto your seats for July 1st.

- Nemmy

Let's do the best we can

Wild wild stuff this week. I'm going to do my best to wrap evening up in a nice, neat package. Think of this post like Hayden Panettiere without hairy balls. btw, how about that popup ad chick in my picture? Right?

The NHL draft is tonight - Hall likely goes first to Edmonton followed by Boston picking Seguin. My guess is that Boston tries to move up. Who knows how that could work but Edmonton can take on salary and Boston doesn't need another center. Savard and Thomas are both open to trades. Thomas makes $5MM for the next 3 (I think) and Savvy's cap hit is $4MM a year (a fucking steal).

The Blackhawks made a big splash sending Buff, Brent Sopel, Ben Eager and Akim Aliu to the Thrashers for the 24th and 54th picks this year and Marty Reasoner, Jeremy Morin and Joey Crabb. The Hawks needed to dump salary and ended up getting some solid picks in return. Great deal for the Hawks. Scotty and I disagree with how good Buff will be going forward. We both think the Hawks sold him pretty high but I don't see him as a power next season. It's a cold world on your own without Kane, Toews et al.

The Hawks also sent Colin Fraser to the Oil for a 6th rounder in this year's draft. All the talk is that they want to keep Sharp and deal Ladd away. More moves to come.

The recently traded Brent Sopel will march with the Cup in Chicago's gay pride parade. Nice to see such an evolved move from an NHLer.

The NHL salary cap moves to $59.4MM for the 2010-11 season. Brian Campbell still is overpaid.

The Bruins sent Dennis Wideman and the 15th pick this year and a 3rd rounder in 2011 to Florida for Nathan Horton and Colin Campbell's kid. Is Horton the scoring winger that will spark the Bruins? As long as he rips harder than Daniel Paille then it could be a win for the Bruins. Wideman should benefit from a change in scenery.

The Bruins resigned Johnny Boychuk for a 2-year worth $3.75MM. As a Bruins fan I love this deal. He came alive in the postseason.

The Sharks let Nabokov walk and inked Pat Marleau and Super Joe Pavelski. Which goalie are they targeting this summer? Many, many names out there that won't choke as hard as Nabby did in the postseason.

Wolski resigns with the Coyotes for 2-years at $7.6MM. What happens if the Coyotes only last 1 year?

What's with action movies where during a big drug deal some guy pulls a switchblade out and cuts open the kilo of coke right in the middle of the packaging to taste it? Doesn't that make a total mess? Why not take the extra seconds and unwrap the thing and wrap it back up neatly?

Former Bruins asst. Craig Ramsey is the new head coach in Atlanta.

The Kings extended the contracts of GM Dean Lombardi, head coach Terry Murray and asst. GM Ron Hextall. They also hired former Philly head coach John Stevens as an asst. to replace Mark Hardy.

The NHL schedule was released. Plan your road trip to Long Island accordingly.

Plekanec resigns with Montreal for 6-years $30MM. Welcome to crazy Montreal expectations hell, Tomas.

Cooke resigns with Pittsburgh, Modano wants to keep playing away from Dallas (please don't let it be Minsk), Tom Renney is the new head in Edmonton, Quinn is pissed, Staubitz goes to the Wild, Pyatt stays with Pheonix as Darche does with Montreal.

Rollie Melanson is the new goalie coach in Vancouver. I only bring that up because I use one of his old sticks for roller hockey.

The Hockey Hall of Fame selected Dino Ciccarelli, Cammi Granato and others NOT Bure, Gilmour, Nieuwendyk, Pat Burns or Lindros to join it's ranks. Halls of fame are funny people because some people want only the very very very best players inducted and feel it's too easy for very good players to get in. Others see the halls as boys clubs that cater to those who a politically savvy. Others see it as a business and more of a museum that makes it's money by letting in the most popular players. I don't really care because I've never been to a hall of fame in any sport in my life but it's nice to see a guy like Dino, who according to Big Spanish "invented net presence" get his turn. And while I really have no skin in the game I will say it's silly how the baseball writers are willing to let certain players in just not on the first or second ballot. As if player X is hall worthy just not on his first go around.

Scott Niedermayer annouced his retirment from the Ducks capping off a ridiculous career where he was a winner at every level. I will miss that stride and pivot.

The NHL hosted its awards show from Vegas. Jay Mohr hosted, the Goo Goo Dolls performed and the whole show was painfully awkward. The best part of the night was the Getzlaf/Ryan segment which drew laughs. The rest was missable.
Here are the winners:
Ted Lindsay - Ovy
Hart - Hank Sedin (who took a jab at his brother on stage)
Vezina - Miller
Norris - Duncan Keith (who thanked everyone and was cut off)
Calder - Tyler Myers (same)
Jack Adams - Dave Tippett
Selke - Datsyuk
Lady Byng - St. Louis
Masterton - Jose Theodore (who doesn't have a team currently)
I think that's it. What is the trophy that the best goalie duo share? Last time I paid attention to that Moog and Lemelin shared it.

Don't get me started on the Mark Messier Leadership Award. I'm just not sure what the point of it is.

I think that's it for the major stuff. I'm not spell checking this and wrapping it up before anyone else get's moved. Have fun watching the draft tonight. Someone please remind Taylor Hall to tuck in his lower lip when on camera.

- Nemmy

We'll get to everything tomorrow

Tons of stuff going on. We'll wrap things up before the draft tomorrow. We're lazy today.

What went wrong: San Jose Sharks

Since Nemmy no longer owns a home computer he's asked guest writers to fill in blogging duties.

Today's guest blogger is Alvin Greene, the Democratic Party nominee for the US Senate from South Carolina.

Yes. I mean, I think, you know the laws relating to that are… they are… I’m in favor of our constitution. It's like I don't think Jumbo Joe and Nabokov could lead the Sharks to the Stanley Cup but...I would have to just look into that more. Yes.

What went wrong: Montreal Canadiens

Since Nemmy no longer owns a home computer he's outsourced his blogging duties.

Today's guest blogger is Nemmy's offshore associate, Chandrashekar.

Greetings, blogosphere. While ice hockey is not much popular sport in Bangalore as in the United States, I have such been tasked with defining the causes for the Canadiens of Montreal losing the conference final. I was told to add this query to the list of deliverables ahead of today's news update, earnings calendar updation, industry data, financial spread updation, forecast models, global comp, covenant matrix, covenant analysis, new issue monitor, loan database, ratings updatation, call schedule updatation, and sensitivity analysis / estimation equation as this was most needfull.

For the Canadiens to advance through the Flyers it was requisite that both Mike Cammalleri and Jaroslav Halak perform to the best of each abilities, of which did not occur. It is a possibility that the Canadiens were fatigued from besting the more-skilled Washington Capitals in the opening stanza and the Pittsburgh Penguins in the sequential round. The Canadiens emerged victorious from the forementioned rounds despite being seeded lower. The Flyers managed to conquer Jaroslav Halak and maintain the attack from Montreal's premier scoring line. It is our belief that the physicality and ruggedness of the Flyers was central in repelling the Montreal. Had Canadien's leading defenseman, Andrei Markov been of sound health one could imagine that his high play would have aided his teammates.

It is our belief that Canadiens would be well to have more physical players in its roster next season in order to more better compete with ruggish teams such as the Flyers. This and trade Carey Price for an order of Jhinga Bagharela.

What went wrong: Philadelphia Flyers

Since Nemmy no longer owns a home computer he's asked guest writers to fill in for his blogging duties.

Today's guest blogger is the kid who was drinking beer at the Phillies game.



Yo, bitches! Even though Nemmy asked me to write what went wrong with the Flyers this postseason I can't really complain about the team. Leighton sucked a few times but that jawn was diiiirtty against the Bruins. I could have stopped Kane's GWG with my fucking Speak and Spell but it was a nasty move to get some space from Kimmo. I guess I blame Mike Richards and that monkey-looking Simon Gagne. They needed to blow some shit up in the final and 6 points in 6 games is bullshit. I found a yellow Chinese Checker in my diaper that got it done harder than that prick Jeff Carter. When Hartnell's done with his wife I'm thinking about giving her my angry inch.

Also, Pronger wasn't nasty enough in the final but he's good people because he got wasted with me and my boys last summer. We were doing shots of Jameson and Pedialyte and Pronger bought like 4 rounds. That night I nearly drove my big wheel through the 15th street bus stop - it was sick! I think the Flyers needed Upshall because Carcillo didn't bring enough to the fucking table. Back in the day when I was hardcore nursing me and Scotty would be downtown with a nipple in our mouths and a Yuengling in our hands. That's Philly hockey, mufu!

I hope the Flyers trade for that LEGO-headed mufu Tim Thomas and we roll in the Final again next season. Peace!

The Whale

Somewhere Ron Francis is trying to hide a hard-on.

- Nemmy

Leonard and his travels west

Now as many of you know, my friends and I recently attempted to climb the Andes during winter to prove our manhoods. That failed miserably and I lay dormant and injured in a remote hospice just east of Chile recuperating for much of the early spring. All I had were financial statements and a tv showing the NHL playoffs which were lovely. I found solace in actor Vincent Vaughn's excitement and court side seating at game 5 when Betty Bolland scored. His name is Betty isn't it? Oh and the song Kyrie echoed loudly in the hill tops every morning. I began writing one day. Chenz went top shelf and we went from there. A little boy at the local blacksmith's laying the framework for a sword. My cat hairs on edge.

As my strength returned I contacted Camille and we met atop the summit to imbibe Cutty Sark.

He told me of the hardships that many faced in a double dip the chip recession. He told me of Scott Hartnell's hair and the effort he put forth during the finals. He told me of the last airbenders and how air can be bent in the fortesque. He warned me of Kobeee and Lebron. He explained Jonathan Toews muttontown chops on his face. He compared them to a frightened turtle and George Jason Lexington Lewis Costanza. Stop me when I've reached the actor Barry Pepper and the wheels have completely fallen off your comprehension of my discourse.

My fall in the Andes that left me in bed for 6 months can best be described by this picture.

I was climbing with Dandenault, Leschyshyn, and McMichaels and we got to the cloud level and it felt like I was falling for two days maybe. They counted on their way down...I....Leonard Thomas the Cat fell about 4 stories into a dewey underhang that broke my fall however I cracked every vertabrae in my body left virtually immobile and like an idiot continue to have limited use of my legs. You know...a lot goes thru your mind as you plummet four stories...maybe these pictures can summarize my thoughts on the way down.

Currently as I fully recover I am writing a short story. It will be called the Life and Times of Broadway Tony Ess. A schematic essay set in the time of Tony right around the time of the last airbenders. It will speak of Surfing Briere, Joe Sakics mid stride toey, J.R.'s awesome hair, the opposite of Pierre Maguire and Eddzo and everything terrible about those two. It will touch upon the blublocker cam on Pronger before the game last night, the way Kane was the only person to know he'd scored the most important goal of his career, John Liles and the aftermath of WWII.

I don't always drink Beer, but when I do....

Well you know the rest

Have a soak my friends,

Leonard the Cat