Memoirs of a hockey child growing up

The thumb there in the lower right hand corner is none other than that of big Black Tate himself. Big Black Tate is my father for those wondering. The nickname has its roots embedded in Lorenz Tate and Bill Guerin rooted from Lawrence which his friends called him on family vacations which became Lorenz from my liking of Lorenz Tates' name. His name is Larry.





He and my mother are up in Lake Placid with young brother Jacob at Can Am hockey camp. Great time up there. I had many a week during the summers up there with friends learning how to play the game. Up in Lake Placid if you have not been, it is very woodsy, hikey and swimmy during the summer. So naturally my parents were on a walk of some sort when he shot this, but he sent this to me yesterday as I returned froma ridiculous 15 mile bike ride with Ramon down the Jones Beach Causeway. Ramon couldn't figure out why I could bike so long and so fast especially mashed up. Feed me canneloni at lunch and throw a dance/techno song or Phil Collins on and I'm under 3 minute mile pace for a good stretch. Wind in my face...gotta a big ego...you could back it up. That Kanye Beyonce song is in my head and its seeping out in random thoughts here and there throughout the day.





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aryTDfhuiGw





I know its not embedded because embedding was disabled but this scene is just 10 big ones....all the way thru too. By all the actors even well closed by Paul Rudd.





Lake Placid was Ben & Jerry's on main street. Late nights ordering big foot Pizza from Pizza Hut at the Ramada Inn. Weird rope climbing team trust exercises up in the appalachian dry land course. Playing hockey everyday with kids you didn't like except for the few friends you had up there with you. The Brick Township kids that looked ridiculous in their green equipment but they were tough as nails. Touring the Northwoods prep school in the middle of nowhere. Roller hockey in the track next to the main rink in the hot sun. Getting in shape!

Lake Placid at night. My folks out to dinner. My dad said I had to get up there with Amber at some point and soak it in. They took young Jacob out tubing with Larry driving the speed boat and Jake said he caught a wave hard off the break of another boat and went flying across the lake. Ahh, good times.

Placid is truly in my history with the Zimmerman family, the most serene and peaceful time as parents that they have together. No fighting, no loitering just hockey and the great outdoors.

Have a healthy weekend people. Swim and drink as much as you can. And next time your buddy at work says he wants to end the hearts game that he started early because he wants to go trade on a friday afternoon, to lose money when nothing is going on...slap him across the face and give him a cookie.

- Barbone

Beers with the President

I'm warming up to President Obama.

Yesterday Obama had Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Mass police Sgt. Joseph Crowley over for a beer in the White House Rose Garden. Like me, our President knows that most conflicts can be solved over a couple of drinks. It works because you're either a happy drunk or an angry drunk. If you get two happys drinking the problem gets solved after 3 drinks. If you get at least one angry then the issue gets solved after 3 drinks and a fight. Either way you work things out.

So in an effort to get our fertile commenting minds going on this waste of a Friday let's see which NHLer - former or current - you would invite over for a beer.

Yes, I totally stole this idea from the 700level, a website that I would really enjoy if I didn't have a strong hatred for Philly sports.

My choice is Mike Sillinger. Silli has played for the Wings, Ducks, Canucks, Flyers, Lightning, Panthers, Senators, Bjs, Blues, Coyotes, Predators, Islanders, Cinci Reds, Indiana Pacers, Heavy Metal, Salsa, SUNY Stoneybrook and the '87 Mets.

He's a good hang and has been around long enough to know 1,000 good stories. I bet I could name a random player and have him throw out his favorite story about the dude. The possibilities are endless. Bress, can we get this on tape?

Oh, and congrats for making it to Friday. My trader has a 2PM flight to somewhere. I'll be racing him out the door.

- Nemmy

Non-hockey hockey line

First off let me couch this post by saying that I'm not sure if I've written about this subject already. I did a quick search in the Blogger and couldn't find it so I guess I'm safe. My memory isn't great and my girlfriend frequently tells me that I use the same jokes over and over. She's heard me tell her about my cabbie with a ball cap over his turban 7,000 times - "What are you a Cleveland Indian?". Whoever I stole that joke from needs to be assaulted.

Wednesday was supposed to be question day but I want to start this a night early.

Let's say that you had to create a starting 5 from non hockey players, who would you pick? Assume that anyone you pick could actually skate and all that. Here's my made up hypothetical fantasy land lineup.

Starting Center - Allen Iverson

Why? In a perfect world my starting center would be the fearless, gritty playmaker who goes into the high traffic spots to make passes and create plays. AI is tough enough to go into corners and creative enough to set up his linemates. He's quick enough to dart in and out of trouble and has the court vision my team is looking for in a No. 1 center. Too many times AI gets criticized for being a shoot first guard but that could round out his effectiveness at the pivot. The guy can take bumps and still has a motor in his older age. Plus he's a total thug and I'm grabbing him before Brian Burke sends him an offer sheet. Consider AI a tougher tatted-up Pavel Datsyuk.

Right Wing - Face from the A-Team

Lieutenant Templeton "Face" Peck played by Dirk Benedict was a closer and a winner. He made everything happen for that A-Team squad and always got laid. When the team needed to up-armor the black van (like they did every 3rd episode) who finagled the parts? Yeah BA always straightened out the trash cans for metal sheeting but Face always managed to get the big ticket items using his charm. The guy was smooth enough to talk his way out of capture or into a woman's gaucho pants and badass enough to shoot a rocket to make a forest green Jeep full of Honduran military policemen flip on it's side. That combination of suave and grit with a side of pure finish makes him the perfect RW. Consider him Jeremy Roenick with slightly less cool hair.

Note: if Brad Pitt's character in Ocean's 13 could use a blowtorch like Face he might have made the starting lineup.

Left Wing - Pitt Bull

I'm looking for a left-handed Tochett or Neeley here. I need a guy on LW that goes north-south with a heavy shot and a pair of hands. This Spanish rapper Pitt Bull is gritty enough to be my left winger. Why? I saw a youtube video of this guy rapping on stage when some fan gets too close and he knocks the fan's ass out and keeps on rapping with the song. Let's see Eminem's pussy ass do that. I'm not a fan of his music but his name is Pitt Bull and he campaigned for John McCain last election so he skates onto my starting lineup right there. Consider him a Puerto Rican Milan Lucic.

Defense - Alexander Skarsgård

My first Dman needs to be the point man. Who knows what this guy is like in real life but Skarsgård plays the 2 coolest characters on HBO. He was Ice Man in Generation Kill (shame on you if you haven't seen this 300 times) and the Viking vampire on True Blood. Plus he's Swedish and I need a Lidstrom-type to man the point. Seriously, True Blood isn't all that great except for the vampire sex but what this guy did on Generation Kill was fantastic. His character was so badass and cool, such a leader. There were only 6 or so episodes of that series but I still feel like I owe this guy a beer. My girlfriend would set fire to my genitals for a chance to hug this guy and my lineup needs that calm killer on the point for the breakout passes and cutting off angles. Consider this guy Nik Lidstrom carrying an M4 with the night vision optics.

Defense - Matt Stairs
I need some muscle on D. NEED IT. Matt Stairs and his big mouth full o' chaw will keep opposing heads up and have guys looking over their shoulders. Stairs has been through it all. He's got scars and war stories and you're just hoping he doesn't have some violent flashback when you skate into his corner. God forbid he catches you at the foot of the crease or if he mistakes you for the family court judge that took away his kids in '98. And don't get in the way of the heavy shot from the point. He fires hard and often and is about as accurate as indiscriminate mortar fire. I can just imagine the presence Stairs would bring to my lineup when he's sitting on the bench during warmups smoking a Winston. Your boy's probably got a playoff beard started before the 2nd period and a water bottle full of stuff they used to power Sputnik. His teammates all know that he takes too many roughing calls but they put up with it because he makes his men feel 150 lbs bigger on the ice. Consider him a more muscular Marty McSorley with 10x more PTSD.

No one is fucking with that lineup.

- Nemmy

Only in Canada

This was the banner on TSN a few minutes ago. Robyn Regehr in a Nike ad.

- Nemmy

Goodbye, PJ

Aaron Ward was a good soldier in his limited time with the Bruins. His contributions to the team will be missed. P.J. Axelsson, on the other hand, represented everything that's good about Bruins hockey. PJ played every position and in every situation when asked. He was relentless in going after loose pucks and tireless in his own end. His stats don't do his story justice. I just read that he signed a 4 year deal with Frolunda of the Swedish Elite League. Everyone knew that he wouldn't be returning with Boston at the end of the year. I'm just happy that he gets to go home.

PJ was the longest standing Bruin coming to the team in 1997, playing through some really lean years in 1999-2001 and soldiering on for last season's run. I mention the lean Boston years (2005? shoot me) because in those ugly stretches is was great to have a guy who was motoring 100% despite playing in lopsided contests with crooked numbers on the scoreboard and lazy teammates on either side of you.

For all his contributions over his Bruin career I will always hold a place in my hockey heart for what he did in the bad times. Every team should have a role player like PJ.

- Nemmy

Monday's Weekend Wrap-Up

Way to try to ruin my weekend, Bruins. Why trade Aaron Ward and dump his salary to acquire a more expensive and less talented dman in Derrick Morris? I thought the Bruins would use those savings to re-up Phil Kessel. I was wrong. Ward was a beast for Boston. He ate minutes, walked tall with Chara and was one of the premier locker room guys in the league. He was solid and will be missed.


Can the players vote on an All Locker Room team? Like an all-star team if the guys never had to leave the dressing room. Wouldn't a stat like "has made 6 appearances in the All Locker Room Team in his 8 year career" mean more than a Lady Byng? Have I ever brought this up before? I feel like this is a whole 'nother post in the making if I haven't written about this already. Good locker room guys are so needfull.


Anyways the Bruins have used this offseason to get worse while while the rest of the division (except Ottawa) has improved. Great.


The only good thing that came from this move was the fact that Peter Chiarelli moved Ward back to Carolina where his family lives. Solid move. I just hope he doesn't get knocked out during his first practice.


I'm holding out hope that Chiarelli has something bigger up his sleeve.



How was your weekend? I watched Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever about 4 times. It's the worst movie ever made but I can't stop OnDemanding it. There's a show I really like on Discovery called Build it Bigger. Great stuff but I can't decide if I like the host or not. He seems to play up his geekiness too much. Also I'm sneaky upset about Vernon Forrest getting killed. What is wrong with people?

Anything going on this week? Did you close this blog as soon as you saw the dopey picture up top?

How does this sound:
Over/Under
Havlat finishes the season with 63.5 games played.

???

- Nemmy

Friday - We've Made It!

Friday, finally. Pat yourselves on the back for slumming through another week in the summer.

In Scotty's post yesterday we were discussing some of the hi jinks we used to get into way back in our college hockey playing days. This story that I ripped from Deadspin and the Grand Forks Herald fits the theme.

Two UND players cited
Finley, Frattin face disorderly conduct charges A former UND hockey player and a current one were arrested about 3 a.m. Tuesday after a campus officer saw the men throwing cups, plates, a kitchen table and a lawnmower onto a Grand Forks street, UND Police Lt. Dan Lund said.

To summarize:
Two college hockey buds (one former, one current) got all lubed up and sat on the roof of one of the guy's houses and tossed their stuff out the window. One kid gave a fake credit card as his ID to the cops. One of the guys, Joe Finley, was a first-round draft pick of the Caps in 2005. He went to the development camp earlier this month and is the coolest guy on the planet.

To be fair, there is nothing better to do in that town than get wasted and destroy your own stuff.

I'm in the mood for some street hockey. Have a great weekend.

- Nemmy

Thursday

Can someone please tell me what is happening with the Islanders. Is Dipietro not playing anymore in the league. Is he seriously anticipated to miss an entire season again? Is that for real that they are hedging with Biron and Roloson. Why do we need both? They are both middle of the pack decent goaltenders...they won't be decent on the Isles as the Isles will contnue to struggle for another few years until the rebuilding is done but why would they need both? Is Biron really going to possibly play THAT much better than Rolly or vice-versa? Really? Cmon now...there is something seriously messed up going on over there. We needed two more Serious forwards this year like a Tanguay and a Gaborik. Roloson..yea ah ok we could use him because of the insecurity of DP but Biron too. I just don't understand. I'm confused and a little frustrated now.

Well the 2man is meeting with friend/former producer of ours in a way with the Islanders out in Long Island later to discuss the future. I'm sure the goalie conversation will come up and I will simply order another Margarita. Jeff Wechsler has his own squad in our men's league now and our team managed to lose to a joke team this week as me Nemy and Mike Martin sat out. Artem still believes the team is spicy but they still lost. I'm so confused in general.



- Barbone

Question

I dogged the 10-day weather forecast in my post yesterday. Yesterday weather.com predicted thunderstorms till August and it's sunnier than ever in NYC right now. Whatever. It's Wednesday, time to have an opinion.

Which current NHL head coach would you let take your mom out on a date?
Rules: You must pick at least one and it's safe to assume this date includes dinner, dancing and (at the very least) oral sex.


Anaheim Ducks - Randy Carlyle

Atlanta Thrashers - John Anderson

Boston Bruins - Claude Julien

Buffalo Sabres - Lindy Ruff

Calgary Flames - Brent Sutter

Carolina Hurricanes - Paul Maurice

Chicago Blackhawks - Joel Quenneville

Colorado Avalanche - Joe Sacco
Columbus Blue Jackets - Ken Hitchcock

Dallas Stars - Marc Crawford

Detroit Red Wings - Mike Babcock

Edmonton Oilers - Pat Quinn

Florida Panthers - Peter DeBoer

Los Angeles Kings - Terry Murray

Minnesota Wild - Todd Richards

Montreal Canadiens - Jacques Martin

Nashville Predators - Barry Trotz

New Jersey Devils - Jacques Lemaire
New York Islanders - Scott Gordon

New York Rangers - John Tortorella

Ottawa Senators - Cory Clouston

Philadelphia Flyers - John Stevens

Phoenix Coyotes - Wayne Gretzky

Pittsburgh Penguins - Dan Bylsma

San Jose Sharks - Todd McLellan

St. Louis Blues - Andy Murray

Tampa Bay Lightning - Rick Tocchet

Toronto Maple Leafs - Ron Wilson

Vancouver Canucks - Alain Vigneault
Washington Capitals - Bruce Boudreau

Let's hear it.

- Nemmy

Tuesday

Jennie Finch is so 1000. The USA girls softball squad is dominating. Love an athlete with talent on both sides of the court.



Always a good memory to relate it back to hockey.


If you can hang on til the end or at least fast forward to 2:18...Falcor's laugh is me every Friday night.

Alex Tanguay rumors to the Islanders? Whatever. Does anyone get it. I mean really get it over there? Not soft. We don't need soft things. What does it matter...it'll just get me and Bress worked up but I guess we can start with Tavares and Tanguay.

- Barbone

Tuesday Value

Good value
Leslie Mann - Sneaky older broad. Doesn't have overpowering stuff but is still getting by with a Jamie Moyer fastball. She's married to that guy who makes all those movies. Doesn't have to be the knockout star in any film. Just fits that nice sneaky old chick niche. Some nice value.

Great Value
Here two RFAs signing in the last week. Both young defensemen with upside. Nice value on both with better relative value for Matty Hunwick.

Jack Johnson - LAK, 22 years old, $2.85MM/2 years
Matt Hunwick - BOS, 24 years old, $2.90MM/2 years

Locking guys in for 2 years on the cheap side right now and pushing off their breakout contracts is always solid.

No Value
(Tie) Doink the Clown and the 10-Day forecast for NYC.

Almost over this week's hump. Hang in there.

- Nemmy

Monday

According to TSN the Minnesota Wild have signed veteran goaltender Wade Dubielewicz.

To say this guy is a fan favorite would be disrespectful to Dubie. I have cousins who go nuts when they describe his games in Bridgeport and Scotty and Bress can still hazily recall the Dubie pokecheck that sent the Isles into the playoffs.

Also some kid named Jack Johnson got re-signed by LA. Remember when he was going to be great?

That's all. The 2Man's weekend was so sick that Scotty's back gave out.

How is everyone?

- Nemmy

Happy Friday

What the hell is Richard Jefferson looking at?

Welcome to the club.

- Nemmy

Question

What did you give Joey and Kristen Kocur for their wedding?

Lack of Posting

Not like anyone except Mr. W noticed but I've been pretty checked out from this blog.

After hearing the news that Boston will host Philly for the New Year's game I'm kind of pumped for the Winter Classic. After perusing the Boston Bruins schedule I'm sort of excited for the 2009-10 season.

Boston/Philly will be a good time because both teams hit and fight. Salt - that's really it. The NHL has already done the old but still cool baseball stadium thing and if I wasn't a Bruins fan I wouldn't care right now.

I'm sweating in New York City in a tank top and a pair of aquasocks - I can't really get worked up about Dany Heatley and the Oilers. Honestly, the 2010 Olympics feel very very far away.

I still check TSN every morning but nothing really moves the needle.

Right now, is anyone freaking out over next season? Too soon? Give me a few weeks and I'll be ready for training camp.

Enjoy the summer.

-Nemmy

A fine close to a poopy summer week

So last night I left my apartment in the west village around 8pm to go meet some buddies from work over at a bar and I decided for some strange reason to throw my Islander shirt on. Even though I am an Islander fan I rarely wear the shirt especially during the summer. However last night was different and I don't know why. I tell Nemy this all the time but I wish these things would happen to him more than me even though I have the ego of a monsoon at times and could be the most narcisstic person on the planet and may need these encounters more than I think I do.



I walk across Carmine Street and onto Beford and just glance as I often do thru the glass windows facing the street at the Market Table (a nice casual burger beer/wine joint) just to see a pretty face or some city goers enjoying their meals. I thought at a glance what could have been Bill Guerin locking eyes with me but didn't believe it 100 percent so I called Bress and he got excited and hobbled over to verify. We found each other around the corner and he said, "I think he is leaving." I said, "What do I do? I'm not gonna go bother him, yea I know we worked together and he'd probably remember me but he's with his wife..." Bress looked at me and said, "Scotty get ur ass to the corner and catch up with him!" I acknowledged and knew I had to say something to a hero of mine, a former player/captain on my favorite NHL team and a friend/acquaintence in my neighborhood.



I caught up alongside him and his wife and lightly grabbed his arm and said, "So what's the best power forward in the league doin' in my neighborhood?" He recognized me and smiled immediately. Introduced me to his lovely wife and I congratulated him on a job well done. He was like, "I didn't know you guys lived around here, I would have thought you guys were from Canada." No Billy boy, just a bunch of city rebels doing our part of not letting go of a game. I told him about our future plans with the show and such and we parted ways. As I started walking away I screamed on Bleecker street, "I knew you would do it...probably the best American power forward in the game!" He smiled, 100 people turned around not knowing what had just happened...I went on with my drinking problem.



Until next time...and in case I don't see you, good afternoon...good evening and good night folks.



- Barbone

An even more boring summer work day

But the news today is the official retirement announcement of Burnaby Joe. What can you say but raise your glass of Pinot, Jack, Gin or Juice in high praise of this once mighty super power. In my opinion Joe Sakic represents the land of America when factories were booming during World War II. He represents all that is a mid-stride toe tuck top shelf. He portaits me mashed up with Wendel, Nemy and Mac pounding Absolut to our faces. What a player!

625 goals 1,016 assists and up there on the all time list. Put up a hundo even in his 37th year on the planet. That is sick. I wish the snowblower didn't fully ruin last season because I would have liked to see a 60-70 pt. final Joe run. Hoisted the cup twice, got some lady Bing action and was 1000 at all times. Remember the Colorado team that never was. Sakic, Kariya, Selanne, Forsberg, Tanguay, Hejduk. I wish that team was healthy for a full season.

Last night on the opposing team we played there's this kid that I thought...don't quote me but I am pretty sure he has called me this and I thought he said this last night again. He called someone a 'tit.' Like a real serious pasty mean quiet person. Good defenseman but weird in a weird way. I actually heard from someone that he rode the bench for four years at Michigan on their D1 squad. That's fucked up dude. I met some of my best friends forever by playing and bonding with them over my college tenure. The point of the story is that I asked him last night if I could use the phrase 'Tit' because I liked it. He was confused...Nemy just kept laughing on the bench. I was serious. He's the complete opposite of Burnaby Joe and what he stood for.

Congrats to Sakic on his accomplished career as an athlete. His combination of skill, class and leadership are a rarity in sports today and will always be remembered on the ice.

- Barbone

Boring Summer Work Day

I spent the better part of this morning clicking "random article" on Wikipedia and counting how many clicks it took before something that had to do with hockey came up.

At click 121 I got the page for Eric Brewer but it was the scientist Eric Brewer and not the old Islander defenseman.

Finally after roughly 848 clicks (I was keeping tabs by making a mark on a pad after 10 clicks, not an exact science) I got to Dan Bain's page. Per Wiki:

Donald Henderson "Dan" Bain (February 14, 1874 – August 15, 1962) was a Canadian athlete and merchant. He won two Stanley Cup titles playing with the Winnipeg Victorias in 1896 and 1901.

We had a friend in college named Victoria. She used to work at the Roll-N-Roaster (where the Village Pourhouse is on 3rd ave).

Dan (short for Donald?) is in the Hockey Hall of Fame. He also had some sick Brad McGann wolfhair.

Fantastic. Can someone explain to me what is going on with the Blackhawks?

- Nemmy

Post Merica weekend and into the summer swelter

Can someone tell me what a welter weight is?

There has been some crazy movement since the draft, my goodness!

2/3rds of the egg line will be back in play up in Montreal. Gomer and Gionta and I assume that at the start Cammaleri would be a good fit until proven wrong because he is quick and so is Gomer and Gio. This line could be sneaky spicy this season. Knuble to DC...grab him next season...he WILL be playing with OVY and Backstrom. 1000! on that line as well. Hossa - 12 years! Jeez. They lost Havlat but picked up Hoss. More positive than negative but not THAT much more positive. Injury prone Havlat so maybe HUGE positive in that respects.

The Rangers grabbing Gaborik is sick for them. Obviously the injury prone disaster that he is...but what if he isn't for 3 seasons...HIGHLY unlikely but what if he averages high 60 low 70 game seasons. He is a one man show and he gives the Rangers something that they haven't had in a long time. A one man goal scoring I don't need a center crazy person. Believe me it will help if he has a center but 100% does NOT need one to get 40 on the board this year. Huge pick up for them.
Pronger PIMS to dirty gritty Philly. With him back there the Islanders aren't even gonna come close to beating them this season. All jokes aside, thats a big move for them...they gave up a decent amount for him but I think that it works more than it doesn't. Look for the coming of the Power "I" Mike Richards at the coming of the fourth light with Gandolf the White, Philly will be stark and staunch as usual.

J Black Bouwmeest moving to the northwest. Going to be a different type of landscape for him but I think he will fit in just fine. That powerplay point with Bowmeest and Phaneuf is goign to be very cement like...very intimidating and very Olympic starting D-pair-like for Canadia.

Ryan Smyth to the Kings - pulled pork sandwich without the pork - whatever.

Havlat to the wild - he's probably never gonna play there anyway so whatever again.

Keva Rosenberg from Robocop - an unemployed person depciting the dregs and poverty in Detroit of the future from RoboCop - amazing. Amazing before this morning when it became 10,000 when Weinbrom found out that it was Eddie Van Halen playing this role. Can anyone speculate as to how he got this bit-part. Did he say yes to some producer wasted at an afterparty or something. Best part of July so far.



And this quick one line scene at the end of the movie with Cop and the CEO of the company just gives me the chills...I don't know why. The music fades in...the leg holster...his walk out.

And off RoboCop until maybe Friday and onto this past Thursday night out on the island. Me and my boyz (non-2man affiliates) but very much in the nuclear family headed to this new bar/club/sheaky spot nearing black out points throughout the evening. Chateau Briand, a nice place. We get there and no joke there is at least 150-200 people waiting outside the doors. It's a complete joke until Aaron leads us in thru the side where we walk in, without being ID'd and stopped or questioned. Right up to the main bar and into 1000. Before we approached the main bar Jeff Tambellini looks up and spots me and I the same. A nice embrace of familiarity and onto some drinks. After some chat about his summer plans and me trying to convince him to buy a house (Why, I don't know) Oh I know the shot girl in the short white skirt that was killing us all night long! Weinbrom asked Jeff what he thought of Tavares and such and he seemed very serious about his potential. High hopes and aspirations and long and strong into this upsetting Monday back from a long lengthy awesome weekend. So think of Keva Rosenberg and getting Tan. Think of a glass of Jack and a chicken qusadilla. Think of Thursday and Friday night. They will be here soon. I went to court this morning to get points off a ticket and need someone to guide me from here becuase I'm lost.

- Barbonite

Mike Knuble

Mike Knuble is the man. Ask me what the first words that come to mind when you mention his name. My answer: Solid American, Reliable, Always in position. As a Bruins fans I watched Mr. Knuble develop into a steady right winger and was bummed when he signed with Philly. I broke the news that he signed with DC to my buddy and Philly fan, Matthew. The news stung. Knuble is the man, he's never out of position, every team should have a guy like this.

Matthew and I spent a good part of the afternoon trading emails about the man. We wondered if he was always in such great position off the ice as well. I picture Mike at a bar in close proximity to both the john and bartender. He's got the spot where girls have to walk by him when going to the bathroom but is still far enough away where when they run back into Mike they aren't still thinking about the color of their pee. You are the guy getting bumped into by barbacks and reaching over 4 frat guys to pick up your Bud Light Lime. Nice drink, guy.

Mike Knuble is the guy that after pulling into his driveway takes 30 seconds to stand at the foot of the crease of his kid's ball hockey net. If he were painted in The Last Supper he would be to the right of Jesus in front of a plate of chicken wings and the biggest bottle of wine. The only think about him out of position is the consonants in his last name.

Mike Knuble: Solid American, Reliable, Always in position.

Best of luck in DC.

- Nemmy