GUEST BLOG - Before you head to happy hour

Wazzzzzup!

The 2Man boys are all off getting ready for the weekend so Bressler asked me last night if I could pinch in with the blog. I'm not the biggest hockey fan in the world but I'm always up for the challenge. How does a bottle of Budweiser write a blog post? A: With plenty of help from spellcheck. Ru du doooo!

So before you head to happy hour here’s a short list of do’s and don’t’s to follow this weekend.

Do Get together with some buddies and watch the Columbus/Chicago game tonight at 8:30. Make sure to invite me and some friends.

Don’t stick around for the LA/Vancouver game.

Do clear your schedule for Saturday. The Islanders are in Boston at 1PM just in case you don’t want to watch the Rangers get crushed by Philly. Does Darius Kasparaitis, Sandis Ozolinsh or Theo Fleury still play for the Rangers? Those were some of my closest pals back in the day.

Don’t end up like this guy because you spent the day drinking in your retarded “Irish” getup at some rinky-dink St. Patrick’s parade.

Do go see a golf tournament down in Florida this weekend with your old man like Bressler is doing.

Don’t get dragged to a St. Patrick’s Day hockey tournament somewhere in Connecticut by some of Nemmy’s buddies like Scotty is doing.

Take it from me, a bottle of Budweiser: Take it easy this weekend. Don’t get all wasted tonight because you’ll forget every sick Rich Nash goal you see tonight. And be careful drinking before playing hockey because you may try to explode a moment and end up falling awkwardly or picking a fight with a guy who is stone sober and carved from granite. And don’t be that guy who puts up Mogilny numbers at the bar because his great great great great grandfather fucked an Irish lady on the boat over from Naples. If you want to enjoy St. Patrick’s day and get into 5th gear go ahead. But don’t claim it’s because you are 1/16th Irish. Real Irish folks would be sitting in church and you are American. Matter of fact, I AM AMERICAN. I was born in St, Louis, MO. Just because I now work for a European company doesn’t mean I’m not as red-blooded as Chuck Norris, apple pie and road head. Shit, Nemmy works for a European company and that kid is a God-dang American icon.

Don’t make a maniac out of me. Be sure to join up with the Friends of the 2 Man Advantage Facebook page and stay safe out there.

“'Cause the flag still stands for freedom and they can't take that away.”

GUEST BLOG - Before you head to happy hour

Hey, homos. It’s me, Luke Richardson. Nemmy is busy with shit at work and asked me to “guest blog” and wrap up all the shit that happened during the week. Normally I don’t do all this sissy computer stuff but I owe Nemmy a few favors ever since he posted my bail when I bit the face of that police horse. So here I am blogging. I figured I have nothing else to do today because fucking Netflix sent me the Scorpion King and I already own it.

I guess a bunch of trades went down the other day. My old buddy Mark Recchi went to Boston. It must have been great to get the hell out of Tampa Bay. That fucking city is a dog track. Also Olli Jokinen got sent to Calgary. I’m not a big fan of Jokinen. I guess he’s a good player but he’s overpaid and soft. Also, I’ve never seen a white guy with a Pat Ewing nose like he’s got. He’ll love it in Calgary though. Great city with great fans. Have you ever been to that rink? You should go. Have you ever humped a one-eyed chick in the back of the Saddledome? Tits bigger than a coconut crab. Ask Craig Berube about that one. Chief tells that story better than I can. HA

Some other teams made moves but nothing important. Since I retired I’ve been missing the game and was hoping one of these teams needed a stay-at-home D man for the playoff push. Unfortunately the only person who called my cell was some guy to tell me I left my credit card at the HipHugger.

Did I see that Ryan Shannon is playing the point man on Ottawa’s powerplay? I could fire a puck with my meast harder than that punk. I bet those homos miss me back there.

Have you losers joined up with the 2Man’s facebook thing? I’m not into the whole facebook thing. I only have a computer to watch Lady Sonia movies and let my kids do their studies. But if you live in your parent’s basement I bet it’s really cool. HA

Did I just hear that Dan Briere is injured again? What a pussy. The only times I missed games was when coach scratched me or that one time a Chinese guy sneezed on me while on line at a Wawa. But seriously what a pussy. I’ve seen babies get pulled out of wells in better shape than that guy.

Some good games are on tonight. Hopefully I can get Gus to put the Dallas – Anaheim game one of the sets at the OTB. Tomorrow there’s a bunch of day games and NBC is showing the Rangers – Bruins on Sunday. The Bruins are limping into that game, eh? Nemmy and his old man are going so I hope the Bs win for him. BTW you had to see the size of this fish sandwich Nemmy pulled in for lunch. This thing was big, flaky and covered in tartar sauce. It reminded me of that old lady I brought home from Von Stueben’s the other night. HA

Anyway enjoy kissing men and shaving your legs or whatever you jerkoffs do this weekend. I got an end piece meatloaf smmy in the icebox so I’ll see you around.