Friday Question - What the hell is going on with the Boston Bruins offense?

What does the 2Man Executive Committee have to say about Boston's offensive struggles?

Luke Richardson


"I think having Savard out with a broken foot screws up everything. Lucic isn't there to fish out pucks and get dirty in the crease and Savvy isn't there to set up the powerplay. Also I walked by the Yankees parade today. The last time I saw that many Hispanics in Yankees caps it was an unemployment line."

Max Cavalera


"We toured Boston with Soulfly when little Igor and Zyon were very young. Backstage at Ozzfest that year we were partying with some of the guys from Megadeth and Tool and I saw a girl take Crown Royal shots out of a human skull. Afterwards I watched Dave Ellefson perform oral on her while she was vomiting into a Marshall stack. That was by far the most offensive thing I've seen in Boston."

Kru Bestor Narte


"A good offense starts with your footwork. Don't give up your stance! It's jab-jab high kick then back into striking position. I'm confident that Boston can get back into scoring with concentration on footwork and balance. Also why are they paying Sturm and Bergeron so much money for? Shouldn't they pick up the scoring slack?"

Dennis "The Snake" Chalker


"Shortly after I returned from my first mission in Panama I went to a Bruins game. I was still nursing a flesh wound I received when our Huey took on small arms fire while the rest of the team was repelling into the jungle. I remember taking a shot into my backside and seeing white foam spray on Lt. Stevenson. The bullet happened to hit my can of shaving cream and it looked like I was made of marshmallows. Anyways I was surprised that Anson Carter was on a top line with Jason Allison. What kind of offensive production can you expect when those two are your top guys. Don't get me started on Dmitri Khristich."

Have a great weekend

- Nemmy