At least I'm not playing soccer

Sometimes mens league just isn’t fun.

Our team always has one or two of “those guys” on the roster who show up to every game despite being behind the curve as far as skill level. The problem with playing where we play is that our squad needs to have a big roster to keep the cost of playing down. With the talent pool being what it is it means we have to get a few of “those guys” on board.

None of us are really all that great but it’s frustrating when only “those guys” show up for games.

Throw in the fact that we play against a few idiots who get stupid with the stickwork because we have to wear cages and you can have the perfect storm of getting beat every night and getting stuck by a few jackasses on those winning teams.

That’s where we are right now. Our team can’t get anything going and we play against just enough assholes to make me want to either get thrown out of games or stay home all together.

Last night we played our second game in as many days and I wanted to skip it. I told Scotty that we should ditch the game (we show up every night, let’s let the slackers take their turn to get hacked), get a bottle of something and watch Predator On Demand. Scotty convinced me to play.

My plan was to skate and drop the first guy that got creative with his stick so I could go home early and get some sleep. Fortunately for me we played the team that has the guys who sometimes play roller hockey with us. They are good guys and solid humans for the most part. I say fortunately for me because with my luck I would have took offense to a high elbow, fought a guy and had to explain to everyone at work why I had to get stitches in my forehead the next day.

Well I played and we lost again. I fought the puck all night and took a few shots off my left skate. The game got somewhat chippy with our buddy, McD getting slashed in the back by some loser in a play that culminated with Scotty pulling one of the more dangerous and retarded moves when he attempted a single leg takedown HS wrestling style to another player. The game was garbage and after losing we are assured of missing out on the playoffs.

Of course I had to rollerblade back to my apartment in a thunderstorm. My girlfriend told me before I left for the game not to skate over because it was going to rain. I ignored her because it was dry at the time and I really wanted to blade for a bit. Great call, Nemmy.

As I was on the stairs of the rink’s fire escape lacing up my skates and getting wet I was thinking about how badly I had played and how late it was, how much shit I had to do at work the next day and how I should maybe skate up to a cab to keep from getting soaked and slipping into a gutter on the trip home.

It was right then that I saw a few teams playing indoor soccer at 11:40 at night. The team with the maroon pinnies and weird beards was threatening to score on some other team made of guys in baggy shorts and long hair. A few of the guys had straggly hair that was held back by scrunchies sold at stores in the mall that 14 years girls work during the summer.

After watching that shit I knew that things could be so much worse. When it comes down to it I would rather get blown out, hacked to death and soaked in our middle of the night hockey games than win at indoor soccer. I have nothing to complain about.

-Nemmy