Kamis, 26 Februari 2009

Fantasy Trade Deadline

We have 6 days until the NHL trading deadline. I haven’t heard any scuttlebutt; I’m not privy to any inside scoop and I can barely analyze any of the trades with rational, coherent thoughts. I just enjoy sitting at my desk and refreshing whichever TSN trade tracking page they put online. I sit on the sidelines and enjoy the show. This post is not about the NHL though.

The trading deadline in my fantasy leagues is more of a pressing concern for me. In fantasy hockey I do not have the luxury of sitting in my tower in my parent’s basement blogging about how ridiculous certain GM’s moves appear. In fantasy hockey I am the one in the trenches. I am the one putting calls into other teams. I am my own silo of scout, GM, owner, fan and nerd. I’m knee deep in the shit and I need to vent.

Normally I keep the trades to a minimum during the season; the waiver wire is my main tool. I’ll only trade guys if I see great value on someone else roster or find some disconnect out there.

But in this one league we have a ridiculous maximum games played rule. Is this a staple of your leagues? If you aren’t familiar with the rule it’s simply a limit on the number of games you can play guys at each position. I haven’t heard a good reason why we have this rule but it’s anti-fun.

Basically, in this one league with the fucked up rules, my overachieving team was bolstered by centers Malkin, Getzlaf, Roy and Modano. Since we only have 2 C spots on my roster my team is over the maximum games played by a lot right now. Fuck me running.

Yes I know I should have been familiar with the league rules before jumping in and I also should have seen this coming more than 3 weeks before the deadline but that’s all in the past. Now I have a mad scramble to trade centers for the spots that I haven’t played the max games with (defensemen, tenders and Ws).

Currently I have to send trade proposals out which always sucks because 90% of people out there automatically assume that you are trying to jam them up. As soon as these folks read the trade offer they:
- laugh it off
- get all offended and take shit personally
- post a message about what a joke of an offer that was

It’s not good enough to simply reject the trade or try and rework the players involved. These people need to insult the player you offered and berate you on the message board. Even if you offered Crosby for Jim Dowd and Matry Turco’s cockring you get immediately rejected with a comment like “Crosby’s a diver”. Great.

In full disclosure I am guilty of this too. Scotty once offered me Scott Walker for some stud and I rejected it immediately and told him that Scott Walker was “peni”. I won’t apologize for that. Scott was trying to hoodwink me and Scott Walker was peni at the time.

The worst is when you send out trade offers and the owners never respond to your requests. Sure there are the scumbags who’ve stopped checking their rosters but sometimes you send trades to guys that are active owners and they still sit on offers.

These idiots get offers and think about it for a week. Now everyday that I look at my roster I see that stupid link reminding me that I have a live offer on someone’s table that is perched on top of my lineup all distracting like a swollen tit on some chick’s pregnant gut. Accept, reject or counter just don’t have me stare at that offer everyday. That’s bullshit.

I always feel like these guys are keeping it there just in case the guy they are giving up has his leg blown off they’ll hurry to push the trade through.

Of course that only happens when I offer trades to people I don’t know. Normally you can call up your buddy and sit for 5 minutes and work something out.

Heals and I got into it a little bit the other day over email because the trade I offered on the yahoo site was different than the one we discussed over email. Totally my fault here. He agreed in principal to the trade over email but when I saw that it was uneven as far as the numbers of players (2 for 1) I had to offer him something different. I sent him an email about that but he opened the trade up immediately and accepted.

Only after he accepted did he see that I reworked some things and slid Lidstrom in there and he freaked out and accused me of cheating at life. Cooler heads prevailed and we worked out a nice deal where I gave him Getzlaf in a firesale for Huselius and Weber. I had to drop Mikey Mo on the trade and had to find an active buyer for a really strong center in a hurry because of the stupid games played rule.

A day before I sent Malkin to Scotty for Kovy in a deal that took 4 seconds. It’s a win for both and he didn’t have to threaten to slash my mother’s face open like cocksucker Heals did.

Here are some quick rules for trading in fantasy:

1) Offer fair trades
2) Check you team. This also means updating your roster, Bress.
3) Don’t be a dick.
4) Be rational.
5) Try your hardest to snake the other team’s best players for your worst.

Bless you if you sat through some nerd talking about his fantasy shit. Happy trading.

- Nemmy

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